on Page 5985 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Cut Limes and Cut Loose
It's Dance in Public Day! Why not erupt into dance everywhere you go? Do the "Bus Stop" at the bus stop and the "Stanky Leg" anywhere. Grand finale: get the entire bar into a Conga Line while raising your Coronas....
The One Where Crazed Loons Besmirch Lady Sizemore's Good Name
We get a massive amount of tips in our inbox each week. Some are pretty interesting, but don't get published for one reason or another....
Jeremy Shockey Doesn't Play Well With Others
The Saints and Texans, bitter rivals from centuries past, got into a little intersquad donnybrook yesterday and America's second-most beloved tight-end was somewhere in the middle of it. Shocking, right? (Get it? 'Cause that's his name.)...
Scott Spiezio Winning War Against Booze Demon So Far
"I know it will be my last shot and I want to be a comeback story, a role model for myself and my family and kids around the world. " Just stay away from Tempe...[LA Times]...
Why Your Team Sucks: Seattle Seahawks
Some people, Like Ufford, are fans of the Seattle Seahawks. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Seattle Seahawks. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group…...
Any Teams Named Yankees Or Red Sox Must Fight To The Death
Did you know that any team nicknamed the "Yankees" must, by law, engage in one beanball war and/or bat-swinging brawl each season with another team named the "Red Sox"? Even if that team is comprised of eight-year olds....
Why Your Team Sucks: Atlanta Falcons
Some people are fans of the Atlanta Falcons. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Atlanta Falcons. This 2009 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....
Chipper Jones' Death Ranch Claims Another Victim
A illegal immigrant was found dead on the Texas property owned by the Larry Jones family. (It's eight miles from the Rio Grande and 124 degrees. Do the math.) Unrelated: The Braves have hired new hitting coach Anton Chigurh. [Journal-Constitution]...
"Fan Cans" Let You Chug For Alma Mater
Anheuser-Busch takes the problem of underage drinking very seriously, especially on campus, where binge drinking has become an epidemic. So to demonstrate their solidarity with college-age alcoholics, the company is now producing cans in your favorite school's colors!...
Boston Stands At Attention For Patriots' Opener
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Big Ben Hurt; You May Commence Panicking
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
If You Question This Lady's Ovaries, You're A Hatemonger
While it may be cruel to so publicly question Caster Semenya's gender, it's not a ridiculous question. But just keep in mind you're being racist. What?...
Today In Ill-Conceived Tie-Ins
Come to King's Dominion and ride the Intimidator 305, the world's only roller coaster named for and featuring Dale Earnhardt Sr. Watch out for sudden stops, though. [From The Marbles]...
Chad Ochocinco's Got This Placekicker Thing Down Pat
After his successful PAT: "'Esteban' Ochocinco is back. The most interesting footballer in the world. Everyone has to remember, I've always said that soccer is my No. 1 sport. I think Ronaldinho would be proud of me right now." [Globe]...
Favre's "Gunslinger" Rating In Madden Is Off The Charts
OK fanboys, fess up. When you heard a certain QB was joining the Vikings, the first thing you wondered was what his ratings in Madden will be. Here's your answer, plus Favre's ratings on a few hypothetical categories....
Shaq Gets First Career Steal
Everyone catch "Shaq Vs." the other night? No? The gist is, a professional athlete's pretty good at sports, especially when the incompetent teammates are openly throwing the game. But here's a shocker: Shaq stole the idea! Maybe....
Orioles Fan Overestimates His Five Tool Abilities
Quick poll question: When a guy runs on the field during a baseball game, do you root for the dude or security? Or do you just root for blood? Keep in mind, you're at an Orioles game....
But How Can He Talk To The Cops If His Jaw Is Broken?
The Raiders' assistant who was (allegedly) cracked by Tom Cable is now going to talk to the police, since he's determined that his career with the Raiders is probably now over. He's quick. [National Football Post]...
Father Chooses Alabama Football Player Over His Own Daughter In "Lovers' Quarrel"
Alabama sophomore Courtney Upshaw and his girlfriend were both arrested and charged with domestic violence/harassment last night—and the father of the girl is not happy. After all, it's completely his daughter's fault for picking on that poor linebacker....
Aural Secs: Bolt's 19.19 Explained With Music
How fast is 19.19? Gawker's Mike Byhoff used Sonic Youth to illustrate the latest record-shattering majesty of Usain Bolt's 200-meter gallop....