on Page 5999 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Charmin Now The Official Butt Wiping Cloth Of The NFL
No longer content (or rich enough) to rely on cars and beer to fill their advertising accounts, the NFL just inked a $10 million-a-year deal with Proctor & Gamble to designate their crap "Official Locker Room Products of the NFL."...
Deadspin I-Team: The Drill That Dare Not Speak Its Name
The Dallas Morning News has one of those quirky-training-regimen stories today that bloom annually during NFL training camp and which usually involve yoga or interpretive dance or whatever. This one, however, is about an unprintably named tire-flipping drill. I-Team, assemble!...
ESPN Twitter Memo: The Remix
So now that the infamous memo has been passed around to everyone, ESPN has reworked their guidelines for those individuals still confused or incensed by the policy and what they can and cannot do....
Louis CK Is The Best Stand-Up Comic Of His Generation
I did a horrible, awkward podcast with Jeff Garlin a while back, and he complained that standup comedy is never discussed as an art form. Okay Jeff, well let's do that....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Crossing Pattern Dong
The Deadspin Hall of Fame is not just for individuals: It is for themes, for common bonds, for lasting memes ... for dongs....
There Are Better Ways to Get All Steamy in the City
How often do you stand on the subway platform wishing you were somewhere else? Well today, be somewhere else. Have your friends meet you at the bar—take an open-air vehicle, or walk—and relax with a bucket of Coronas....
Tasers And Foul Balls Make For An Eventful Night In Oakland
At most ballgames, you're lucky if one interesting thing happens in your section. A foul ball, a violent arrest, dudes falling down stairs? Well, some lucky A's fans saw it all in the span of about 30 seconds....
Vince Young Is Learned
About life, crack, stocks, depression, dressing dogs. Oh, and this: "I don't know when I'll start again. But I will be the next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl. And I will be in the Hall of Fame."[Esquire]...
Charles Rogers Blew Ay-Day. AY-DAY
Click to viewIf you ever wondered how former Lions #2 overall pick Charles Rogers turned out to be such a bust, Jemele Hill of ESPN got the answer from him: Construda. Construda AY-DAY....
Deadspin HOF Nominee: Alex Rodriguez
Well, we had to nominate one person whose very name makes you groan, and if we had picked Brett Favre, Drew would have never stopped stabbing me in the eye....
Joe Posnanski Just Gave You A Reason To Renew Your <em>Sports Illustrated</em> Subscription
Posnanski, who in the time it takes you to read this will have written two features and a post about Yuniesky Betancourt, is SI's newest senior writer: "This is Broadway. This is Paris under a setting sun." [Joeposnanski.com, TBL, Shanoff]...
Tiger Woods, David Feherty's Soiled Underpants, And You
The PGA gas scandal has taught us a lot about ourselves and about humanity in general, but there is one deeper unexplored question: Why is this the first we're learning about Tiger Woods' obsession with farts?...
Choose Your Own "Mets Disaster" Headline
Luis Castillo sprained his ankle last night falling down the dugout steps. Oh, and Albert Pujols hit a grand slam in the 10th to beat the Metropolitans. Their misery knows no bounds. [NY Post]...
Lou Holtz's Last Foray Into Politics Didn't Go So Well
"I will have nothing to do with politics," Lou Holtz declared in 1983, assuring his new bosses in Minnesota that his days of endorsing race-baiting gasbags for Senate were over. Now he wants to run for Congress. Flip-flop!...
Spend The Night In Roger Federer's Bed
Roger Federer has his own personalized $3,000-a-night suite at the Carlyle Hotel—with monogrammed pillows!—just for the two weeks a year he spends ruling the U.S. Open. Unfortunately, Rafael Nadal has the only key. [Observer]...
Prince Fielder's March Of Vengeance
Nine innings were not enough for the Brewers and Dodgers to settle their differences—even if the 13-run differential says otherwise—so Prince Fielder led his Crew through the bowels of Dodger Stadium on a hunt for Guillermo Mota's head....
Fart-Gate Scandal Blown Wide Open
After what seems like decades of secrecy and lies, America demands to know: Who cut the cheese? Now we may finally have our answer. The conspiracy goes far deeper than any of us could have imagined....and it really stinks....
Jay Glazer Is Ready To Make Mortensen's 2009 NFL Season Miserable
Tough start of the week for Mort. First, ESPN takes away his Twitter freedom. And now he's back at training camp and dealing with this asshole again. Which week do you think Glazer TP's the Mort Mobile? [PFT]...
This Photo Hurts My Heart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Coach Who Said Hitler Was A Good Leader Wants To Run For Congress
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....