on Page 6003 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
NFL Experts Will Not Rest Until Every Quarterback Leads The League In Something Retarded
If you follow the NFL as closely s I do, you begin to get a sixth sense for cliché memes. They tend to spread across the football landscape as quickly as Irvin's herpes....
Yankees' Loss Inspires Frantic Search For New Small-Sample-Size Scapegoat
The Yankees lost 7-6 yesterday, and if it wasn't Girardi's fault, it was Burnett's fault or Hughes' fault or Swisher's fault, three men demonstrating an unmanly lack of clutch, unlike the New York media's new darling of clutch, Alex Rodriguez....
Randy Hanson Keeps It In Perspective
After learning that former boss Tom Cable would not face charges for breaking his jaw, Hanson said: "It felt like the Rob Lytle fumble all over again." He's like the Al Davis of terrible analogies. [Yahoo]...
Adrian Peterson's Crotch Welcomes You To New York
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....
Ole Miss Has A(nother) Sensitivity Problem
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Beer In The Bathroom: The Circle Of Life
Drew mentioned this earlier, but it bears further examination. The Redskins are selling beer in FedExField bathrooms? Holy crap, that's awesome. And unsanitary....
Justin Fargas Has A Theory About That Special Teams Pigeon
"Yeah, it was definitely a strange event seeing that bird flying out there. It seemed comfortable on the football field and comfortable lying down there literally on special teams. It very well could have been Marquis [Cooper]." [Via]...
Cheddar Plax Jokes Get NYPD In Hot Water
You shoot yourself in the leg, people are going to say you pulled a Plaxico. Sorry, that's how it is. But one teen is suing the cops for making just that obvious joke....
The Waterfall At Angels Stadium Is Not A Public Swimming Pool
But props to FOX for actually showing the drunk guy take a dip....
Red Sox Underwear For Sale, If You're Into That Sort Of Thing
Tired of collecting all kinds of shit related to your favorite player? Time to collect their literal shit, in skidmark form. Game-used underwear, people. Christ....
Ecstatic Phils Fan Wants To Make Love To Entire World, But Especially This Reporter
Because we can't get enough of Philadelphians acting like asses on local news....
No Charges To Be Filed Against Tom Cable
The Napa County DA just announced that Raiders coach Tom Cable will not be prosecuted for any crimes as a result of a "tussle" that broke the jaw of assistant Randy Hanson....
Woody Paige Must Have Missed The Meeting
Jemele Hill graduated from "Cold Pizza" to "Around The Horn" today—her first appearance on the show—and Woody Paige wasted no time in making an inappropriate overture to her grandmother. Smooth. [Video via ESPN]...
The Don Cherry Jersey Was A Bold Choice
The Kingston Frontenacs celebrated "Military Night" by paying tribute to Don Cherry. (The jerseys are now up for auction if you would like to buy one.) The game was not televised because all the video equipment malfunctioned. [Frontenacs via Star]...
Freewheeling Sports Blogger Crosses Ethical Line, Becomes Symbol Of Blogosphere's Unprofessionalism
I refer, of course, to Wayne Vore, who gave a box of Argentine desserts to Manu Ginobili. The New York Times' Howard Beck called it the "worst sight of the night." Forty people at Poynter just fainted in horror. [SBNation]...
It's Still Gotta Be The Shoes
Marcus Jordan, son of Michael and a freshman at Central Florida, wants to wear Air Jordans. UCF has a contract with adidas. This is the Sophie's Choice of the third millennium....
Begun, The Hockey Playing Ice Bear War Has
A Russian circus manager was mauled to death by a bear wearing hockey skates. First, Anchorage, then Fairbanks, now Kyrgyzstan? The angry sports bears are officially out to get us. This won't end well for humanity. [BBC]...
Sports Fella's Fantasy: A Scrappy Little Web Site That Competes With The Likes Of, Say, ESPN
Bill Simmons muses: "Part of me can't shake the temptation of being the underdog again — like, launching my own sports site, hiring some talented writers and designers and trying to compete with the big guns." [Huffington Post]...
The Death Of The Workhorse Back. Jamboroo, Week 7
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....