on Page 6080 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Is It Hot In Here Or Is My Head On Fire?
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...
What About His Face? Did Something Happen To Rick Ankiel's Face?
The Rickster was hospitalized after crashing face first into the center field wall last night. Doctors say he might not have been hurt at all if only he had kept the mustache. [Missourinet]...
Maybe The Magical Ponies Are Huge Miami Heat Fans
Courtesy of Runaround Sue's and around 50 other ESPN.com readers who spotted this poll. No, they weren't cornified again....
Carlos Zambrano Needs A Timeout
The Big Z is going on the 15-day DL with a bad hamstring. Should Cubs fans panic? Should they start beheading farm animals? Or get drunk and embrace the Jeff Samardzija Era. [Sun-Times]...
Mexican Soccer Player Red Carded For Swine Flu
Speaking of bold, unexpected strategies—Guadalajara defender Hector Reynoso has been banned from international competition because he spit and sneezed on opposing players and then told them he had swine flu....
Joba Chamberlain's Mother Still Has Some Problems
The mother of the Yankees' hurler was arrested for dealing meth to an undercover officer. This is written by the same newspaper that did the long-ish profile on her last fall. [Lincoln Star Journal]...
The Kentucky Derby Revisited: Follow The Circle And Ignore Tom Durkin
NBC's lead race caller Tom Durkin is getting hammered for his I-Am-Yelling-About-The-Wrong-Horses!-routine that annoyed many viewers, especially racing purists, those who had money on Pioneer of The Nile and blind people....
Malcolm Gladwell Wants To Know Why Your Team Doesn't Press More
There's a very lengthy article in The New Yorker this week, from uber-contrarian Malcolm Gladwell arguing that basketball teams should press more often, because it helps weak teams upset strong ones. (Except when it doesn't.)...
Sorry Ladies: Bruce Pearl Is Off The Market!
Hearts are a-breakin' all across the Smokies today as Bruce Pearl has announced that he's affianced to lady friend Brandy Miller. Do they sell creamsicle-colored tuxedo shirts? [Knoxville News Sentinel]...
Trevor Hoffman's Music Scares The Crap Out Of Ken Macha
The Brewers manager says he hides in the bathroom when his closer enters the game, because Hoffman's entrance music is just too darn loud. Or maybe it's the new Japanese seat warmers? [ESPN; game notes]...
Warm Your Butt In The Dice-K Memorial Bathrooms
The Boston Red Sox paid the Seibu Lions $51.1 million for the right to take Daisuke Matsuzaka off their hands. So what did they do with the money? New toilet seats for everyone!...
Lance Armstrong's New Bike Insipred By Hope
Because it was designed by Obama poster artist Shepard Fairey. [AnimalNY]...
The Time Is Right For America's Baddest Horse Trainer
Ok, this has been bugging me since Saturday, so I have to ask—was trainer Bennie Woolley Jr. carrying a gun at the Kentucky Derby? (Probably not—but wouldn't it have been great if he had been?)...
Selena Roberts On Verge Of Becoming More Despised Than A-Rod
Selena Roberts' Alex Rodriguez tell-all finally hits the bookshelves today, but all the goodwill she received from her journalism colleagues after breaking the steroid story to end all steroid stories has completely vanished....
Austrian Hockey Players Will Question Your Sexuality In Perfect English
Austria lost to Denmark in a Hockey World Championship qualifier last week, but at least Oliver Setzinger got a chance to get to know his fans and their preferences for fellatio....
And The 2009 Brian Baldinger Award Goes To...Torry Holt
The former Rams' wide receiver instills confidence in his catching ability in front of a confused Jacksonville press corps. [With Leather]...
MVP Award May Finally Earn LeBron James Some Publicity
The Plain-Dealer says LeBron James will be named the MVP today. He also wins a new Kia, which is awesome because I hear his Datsun pickup is rusted out. [Cleveland Plain-Dealer]...
John Wall Declaring Early For Life Of Crime
Number One basketball super recruit John Wall has not yet decided what college he will pretend to get an education at for one semester, but perhaps he just needs trespassing time to think about it....
And The Mets/Phillies Weekend Yields Predictable Results
Come on, Philly people. Don't throw fucking bottles. [The700Level]...
As Boston Globe Dies, One Boston Herald Columnist Reveals Himself To Be A Towering Douche
Regardless of any silly notions about Deadspin being anti-newspaper, it's unfathomable to think that many of our hometown papers we all grew up with could be obsolete in the next couple of years....