on Page 6554 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Stretch Your Legs, It's Almost Here

So what's gonna happen is in exactly two hours we'll begin the live blog celebrations. This will give me ample time to nap, eat, and ... wow, there's been a Frosted Flake in my beard all this time, and nobody told me!...

To Watch Tonight

What to watch while asking the referee for his phone number ... • 6:17 p.m. — Super Bowl XLII: Pittsburgh Steelers at Dallas Cowboys. (Just seeing who really reads these.) [FOX] Alternative Super Bowl Programming • 6: p.m. — My Big Breasts And Me. "Three women openly discuss the negative impact thei...

Santonio Holmes and McLovin, Best Buds

• The seven best moments from the Maxim party. [Rotoworld] • Let's try to buy Liverpool FC! [Machochip] • Heath Shuler, defender of NFL in church. [Scott Van Pelt Style] • The Patriots have the Steelers' dynasty to thank. [Mondesi's House] • Shooting in Omaha was either a hate crime or being pissed ...

They asked every celebrity in the world for Super Bowl predictions. What slays me most is they put Bill O'Reilly's right next to Keith Olbermann's. And, of course, they disagree on who will win. [GoErie.com]...

Robert Z. Nemeth Doesn't Care About Oddly Shaped Balls

Know what's great? (Besides those Jimmy Dean microwaveable breakfast sandwiches. Mmm mmm. I'm not actually sure why I brought this up, it's really a tangential point to the entire post.) Opinion columns written by old men who complain about everything. Enter the fray, Robert Z. Nemeth, about how foo...

It's Normal And Natural To Watch Old Super Bowl Highlights

Last night, while the world wept over videotapes and dynasties, ESPN2 strung together a bunch of those NFL Films specials of Super Bowl highlights. It might've been the most sports they've aired on one channel in quite some time....

Giving Deadpoints where Deadpoints are due, here's a +1 to ESPN's 10-year-old analyst Jason Krause, in his final segment of the year asking Jared Lorenzen "how it feels to block for Eli Manning." That was the only time actual laughter was drawn from a Jason Krause segment....

Which Patriots Video Is Scarier?

With little on TV, it's time to partake in some of the Internet's finest available video pertaining to those with hard stances on the New England Patriots. Ahead of you are two videos of the Tube Belonging To You variety — one taking the "for" and one taking the extreme "against." It's a toss up as ...

FedEx Wants All Hungover Employees At Work Tomorrow

Until those diligent slackers get the day after Super Bowl turned into a national holiday, we the working class must continue to roll into to work on Monday, somehow, some way. Don't bother calling in sick — it doesn't work....

How To Stay "Busy" Until 6:17 p.m.

If you open your window and spit, you'll likely hit a channel with some kind of Super Bowl pregame show. But if you have Final Fantasy Legend III for the original GameBoy lying around, for the love of God don't spit on it, because that's my recommended retro game for the day....

All Other Sports, Rolled Into One

This is a big day, so in an effort to give due time to all the other sports, Deadspin is consolidating its regularly-scheduled coverage into the Everything Closer! "No love for..." your favorite sport? That's because your favorite sport might suck....

About Last Night...

Mock Japanese People Falling From the Comfort Of Your Own Couch

By the way, he's doing the obstacle course all wrong. If you go through it standing upright, it's a lot easier....

I'd read McSweeney's articles more often if they didn't always leave me feeling like an unshaven boor. But maybe that's just the beard and lack of table manners. Either way, here are some Super Bowl predictions if penned by famous authors. [McSweeney's]...

To Watch Tonight

What to watch as Michael Vick's dogs learn to love again... • 6 p.m. - 6 a.m. — Super Bowl Highlights marathon, leading you right into the Mike and Mike in the Morning special. Why even bother sleeping? [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — Movie: National Lampoon's Van Wilder. An original idea by National Lampoon abo...

Washington State football player Xavier Hicks was arrested and suspended for switching his roommate's contact solution with rubbing alcohol. I'd be impressed if that wasn't ridiculously painful. [The Wizard Of Odds]...

These Patriots Scandals Keep Getting Lamer

Well, I'm sure it's just a coincidence that we're now hearing about the time the New England Patriots might have taped their opponents' practice right before Super Bowl XXXVI....

You, Too, Can QB Just Like Jeff George

• Learn how to ruin team chemistry! [I Want To Be A Sports Agent] • It's not the 49ers' fault New England has good picks. [The Realests] • Progress for NCAA minority hiring? [HBCU Sports Blog] • The Nuggets still don't feel like a great "team." [The Latest 'Word] • John Hollinger: no-good NBA nerd. ...

Don't Take Joe Montana's Picture, He Thinks It Steals Your Soul

The legendary Joe Montana has to be a little antsy this weekend. The 49ers don't get an early first round draft pick. He's got people covering his shift at his diner. And if Tom Brady wins a fourth Super Bowl ring and third Super Bowl MVP, it'll tie Joe Cool on both counts....

David Beckham, Maradona And The Stomping Of Scorpions

David Hirshey writes regularly for Deadspin about soccer....