one Page 141 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
A baseball league was finally crazy enough to institute sudden-death home run derby
Someone looked at baseball and asked, “What’s the most outlandish and absurdly interesting method that could decide the outcome of a game,” and our colleagues at The Onion ... oops! ... I mean real baseball executives in charge of the Pioneer League, have apparently found the answer — sudden-death h...
Mocking the Mock Draft: First-round scenarios sure to piss everyone off
You all have seen more mock drafts than you can count by now. I get it. I promise you, though, you have not and will not see another that resembles this in any way. With the NFL Draft finally, mercifully starting soon, let’s have a little fun and create the most chaotic mock draft we can think of. M...
Atlanta Cockatoos always find a way to crap on themselves
The Atlanta Parakeets are officially taking calls for a potential Julio Jones trade....
Please, please, send John Smoltz to a farm upstate
It was a slow, lazy Saturday afternoon. It would have to be for me to turn on the Mets when Jacob deGrom isn’t pitching (though Marcus Stroman can be a very entertaining watch, too). I grew up at a time here in Chicago when we hated the Mets as much as the Cardinals, and those instincts still flicke...
Woj’s F-bomb to a U.S. Senator proved to be prophetic today
In a response to hate crimes directed at Asian-Americans across the country, the United States Senate passed a COVID-19 Hate Crimes Act this afternoon by a vote of 94-1. And the “1” vote was brought to you by Josh Hawley, who ESPN’s Adrian Wojnarowski said “fuck you” to last summer. ...
What it really means when white sportswriters talk about lack of hustle
The Yankees fell to 6-11 on Wednesday night with a 4-1 home loss to Atlanta. They got a grand total of five hits, and if not for Atlanta’s generosity in throwing away Tuesday night’s game, New York would be on a seven-game losing streak right now....
Amid Super League <i>schadenfreude</i>, we almost missed our chance to laugh at Tottenham firing Jose Mourinho
Shrouded in the Super League fiasco, and perhaps because of it, Tottenham Hotspur were able to admit a huge mistake while no one noticed, or could laugh at them, or wonder if they have any sort of plan, by firing manager Jose Mourinho. ...
It's 4:20 on 4/20, let's fire one up for the sports heroes who smoke weed
With every 4/20 that goes by, sports leagues seem to care less and less about weed. As they should....
If Zach Wilson goes ahead of Justin Fields that’s some B.S.
The NFL Draft needs to hurry up and get here because I’m losing my damn mind....
Tatis returns and Padres-Dodgers give us a look at what could be an epic summer
Fernando Tatis Jr. returned to the Padres’ lineup on Friday night, 10 days after all of baseball got its stomach tied up in knots seeing the 22-year-old star suffer a partially dislocated left shoulder....
Dwyane Wade is now a minority owner of … the Utah Jazz?!
Dwyane Wade, three-time NBA Champion, Miami Heat legend, TNT Analyst, and all-around solid dude, is now a minority owner of the Utah Jazz....
Jackie Robinson would be condemning police terror and white America were he alive today
Yesterday was April 15th, Jackie Robinson Day, baseball’s annual event of empty tributes to cover up the fact that 90 percent of teams refuse to hire Black or Hispanic executives or managers despite Jackie’s dying wishes. ...
How well did<em> MLB: The Show</em> choose cover athletes? We rank all 15 player performances that season
One month later than usual, MLB: The Show is finally releasing their 2021 installment. Although the game itself doesn’t fully come out until Tuesday, April 20, today begins the early access release period, meaning if you pre-ordered the game, you’re probably playing it right now....
Why isn’t Marquette King still punting in the NFL? I asked him
Generally speaking, when an All-Pro player is healthy, they’re employed in today’s NFL. For whatever reason, that isn’t the case for Marquette King, who is healthy, available, and ready to contribute for an NFL franchise. The former second team All-Pro punter, oozing with personality and ability, la...
Joe West wins suit vs. Paul Lo Duca in a story with no heroes
They say justice is blind, which means that’s one thing justice has in common with Joe West....
Taking a look at QB-heavy draft classes, and why the best isn't always the guy who goes highest
In a quarterback league, this year’s NFL Draft looks like one of the most quarterback-rich talent pools in history. We know that Trevor Lawrence will be the No. 1 pick for the Jaguars, and after him, it’s likely that the Jets and 49ers will select signal callers, making this the first draft with qua...
He's now Evander 'The Get Real' Holyfield
It’s a Trash Talking Tuesday, and today I’m trashing Evander Holyfield....
The USWNT’s fight is with FIFA
Yesterday, the USWNT and U.S. Soccer dotted the I’s and crossed the T’s on their settlement over the amenities/facilities/training half of their dispute over equal pay. While it’s a good thing that the women’s team will have the same flights, hotels, medical and training staff as the men, the settle...
Filthy rich NFL owners aren’t <i>quite</i> as rich as other sports' fat cats, according to new list
In American sports, everybody is always trying to catch up to the NFL. They have the biggest ratings, the largest fan base, and new stadiums constantly trying to out-gargantuan the others. It’s also a league full of shrewd business people who don’t have to pay guaranteed contracts....
Ted Cruz’s performative outrage over MLB is laughably disingenuous and toothless
Major League Baseball’s decision to move the All-Star Game out of (suburban) Atlanta as a response to Georgia’s racist voting law generated a response of its own from two of the Senate’s leading shitposting insurrectionists, Ted Cruz and Mike Lee: a threat to draft legislation to revoke baseball’s a...