one Page 172 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Reports: Yankees Will Hire ESPN Analyst Aaron Boone As Manager
The Yankees will hire ESPN analyst and one-time Red Sox destructor Aaron Boone to replace the fired Joe Girardi, according to reports from the New York Daily News and ESPN....
Bret Boone Will Slide Into Your DMs To Mock Sexual Harassment
Three-time all-star second baseman Bret Boone, who last played baseball in 2005, appears to have a lot of time on his hands. He spent today flinging himself into a reporter’s Twitter DMs just to make light of the day’s latest allegations of sexual harassment....
Wayne Rooney Scored From Half Field And Maybe Saved Everton
Everton came into today’s game in 17th place in the league and only two points ahead of their opponents, West Ham. A loss would have sunk them into the relegation zone and extended their run of trash performances. They won 4-0, thanks to a goal from Ashley Williams (who is still butt) and a hat tric...
Mohamed Sanu Throws 50-Yard TD Strike To Julio Jones
Third-and-one in the first half isn’t usually the time to reach deep into the bag of tricks, but the Atlanta Falcons clearly trust wideout Mohamed Sanu to get them all the yards they need, and then some. With the ball at midfield, they had Sanu take a shotgun snap and fire a pass deep down the field...
Hello Darkness, My Old Friend
Boy, things sure are looking up for Jerry Jones! Here he is enjoying a Thanksgiving feast of a 28-6 loss and 434 passing yards allowed. Look upon his soul, or what is left of it:...
Jerry Jones Won't Sue The NFL, Still Won't Shut Up About Roger Goodell's Contract
Another thrilling update in this saga of powerful old football men sending mean letters back and forth! Jerry Jones has announced that he will not be suing the NFL to block commissioner Roger Goodell’s contract extension, as he’d previously threatened to do. But that doesn’t mean he’s given up putti...
Report: Jerry Jones Wants Secret Ballot Vote But Everyone Wants Him To Shut Up And Stop
Jerry Jones is fond of the secret ballot as an instrument of dealmaking, and today, he’s reportedly introduced it as the latest weapon in his siege against Roger Goodell and other NFL owners. According to Pro Football Talk, Jones wants to use this secret ballot to get the owners to vote on, well, so...
Baker Mayfield Given Meaningless Punishment For Grabbing His Dick
Heisman frontrunner and Oklahoma quarterback Baker Mayfield let the hapless, now 1-10 Kansas Jayhawks get on his nerves Saturday. First, the Kansas captains snubbed Mayfield at the pregame coin toss. Then, during the game, they went after him for at least one cheap shot. But once Oklahoma was solidl...
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You're Playing Kansas, Dipshit
Baker Mayfield is an excellent football player. He also seems to enjoy grabbing his dick and telling hapless Kansas players to go fuck themselves:...
All Of Roger Goodell's Dick-Swinging Did The Players A Favor
Again, there are many, many delicious morsels to chew on in Don Van Natta’s and Seth Wickersham’s latest smorgasbord of NFL insider delights for ESPN The Magazine. But let’s take the revelation that many owners—most especially Jerry Jones—are increasingly unhappy with the shadow bureaucracy Roger Go...
Here's Video Of A Seemingly Drunk-Off-His-Ass Jerry Jones Making A Bad Joke
Something called The Blast has acquired an old video that shows Cowboys owner Jerry Jones making a groan-worthy joke to a fan who had stopped him at a Dallas hotel and asked the nutty old coot—whose beet-red face and unsteady speech suggest things about his level of inebriation—to wish his new wife ...
Ohio Supreme Court Justice Bill O'Neill Wants You To Know He Has Fucked
The last time we saw Ohio Supreme Court Justice and prolific Facebook user Bill O’Neill around these parts, he was taking the “draft dodging millionaires” of the Cleveland Browns to task for kneeling during the national anthem. O’Neill is self-evidently a man of many passions, but mostly he loves to...
The Case Against Roger Goodell
I know I sound like a broken record when I urge you to go read Don Van Natta Jr.’s and Seth Wickersham’s latest piece of thoroughly reported NFL kremlinology for ESPN, but: Go read it. All of it. There are a dozen different items and themes that warrant highlighting, and a few of them are going to g...
Jerry Jones, NFL Owners Continue Vaguely Flexing Their Muscles At Each Other
We’re now a few weeks into Jerry Jones’s crusade to teach Roger Goodell a lesson about the limits of his power and, at this point in the exercise, that amounts to an aggrieved Jones staring across a bargaining table at a group of NFL owners who are getting progressively more fed up with his shit. Th...
Report: NFL Owners Have Discussed How To Kick Out Jerry Jones
An update on the current petty infighting among the NFL’s most powerful men, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal: multiple team owners have reportedly discussed the possibility of removing Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones over his recent threat to sue the league, part of his attempt to block a contr...
Ezekiel Elliott, Who Was Suspended, Un-Suspended, Suspended, Un-Suspended, Suspended, Un-Suspended, And Suspended Again Accepts Suspension<em></em>
As his agents announced this afternoon, the interminable saga of Ezekiel Elliott’s quantum suspension has finally come to a close....
How Jerry Jones Became The NFL's Shadow Commissioner
“The Super Bowl has changed since we were last in it,” the late Dan Rooney told the Pittsburgh writer Jim O’Brien in January 1996, in the run-up to Super Bowl 30. “It has gotten a lot bigger. There’s more hype. To be quite honest with you, it is more Jerry Jones.”...
Report: NFL Owners Threaten To Punish Jerry Jones If He Keeps Fucking With Roger Goodell<em></em>
A group of NFL team owners have sent Jerry Jones a cease-and-desist warning and threatened to “punish him” if he keeps at his quest to block commissioner Roger Goodell’s contract negotiations, according to a report from the New York Times. Jones has recently been butting heads with the six owners wh...
Honduras Accuses Australia Of Spying With A Drone Before World Cup Playoff
Australia and Honduras are currently in the midst of a two-leg playoff for one of the last available World Cup spots. The two sides played to a scoreless draw in San Pedro Sula last week, and they’ll meet again in Sydney on Wednesday for the rubber match. Tensions are obviously high between the two ...