one Page 255 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Congratulations To Bleacher Report On Its $200 Million Acquisition: Slideshow
In honor of Turner's nearly finalized $200 million purchase of Bleacher Report, here's a congratulatory slideshow, featuring a bunch of pictures of burning money. Please click through....
Why Did The Dream Team Choose Laettner Over Shaq?
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Shaq has the answer....
Rangers Announcer Dave Barnett To Undergo Evaluation, Will Miss Next Two Broadcasts
Texas Rangers broadcaster Dave Barnett will miss the next two games, choosing to undergo evaluation after suffering a migraine that led to a bizarre sequence during last night's game in San Diego....
Harry Reid To Reporter: "That's A Clown Question, Bro"
Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid is a Mormon from Nevada. So is Bryce Harper. He works in D.C. (where he was answering a question from Roll Call's Steven Dennis about some immigration stuff involving Mitch McConnell and Mitt Romney). So does Harper (who coined this phrase less than a week ago, al...
Note To Starbucks Baristas Everywhere: If You Find Yourself Serving Coffee To Mitch Albom, Spill It On Him
Mitch Albom, America's favorite fun-sized poetastering fabulist, decided to use his Sunday column space in the shrinking Detroit Free Press to whine about America's service workers in the haughtiest fashion possible....
A Mural Featuring Mike McQueary Tastefully Adorns Happy Valley Titty Bar
Reader Jayme recently returned from a trip to the End Zone Club, a titty joint located in scenic Port Matilda, Pa., just 13 miles away from the Penn State campus. He files this report:...
Female Indian Athlete Accused Of Rape, Having A Penis
Here's a song we've heard before. A female athlete is accused of not being a female. This time, the woman's name is Pinki Pramanik and she is an Indian runner....
Jury Awards Victims $11 Million in Pacman Jones Case
Welp, it looks like Adam Jones can amend his Scared Straight syllabus. A jury has awarded the victims in that Las Vegas shooting case $11 million in damages. Predictably, the opposing attorneys each have a different take....
The NFL Asks Pacman Jones To Scare This Year's Rookies Straight
I guess being a 147-time offender in the NFL actually does have its perks. Adam Pac-Man Jones told the Cincinnati media that Commissioner Roger Goodell has called on him to speak to this year's group of incoming rookies on how they can avoid screwing up whatever promising career they hold in front o...
So, Who Embarrasses Himself The Most In <em>Rock of Ages</em>?
The central appeal—or anti-appeal—of any Hollywood adaptation of a musical is not about the music or the choreography or the set pieces; it's about watching actors who don't usually sing, sing. One of the most fun aspects of Chicago was learning how charming and deft Richard Gere was; it was equally...
Twins Fan Catches Foul Ball Without Interrupting Cell Phone Conversation
"Right. Uh huh. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Oh, boy. ... Here it ... I gotta ... Huh. ... OK, right. Oh, I know, totally. [Here you go, hun.] What's that? Oh, nothing. Listen, lemme call you back."...
The Rays Need To Upgrade Their Bullpen Phone Plan
Joe Maddon had some instructions for his bullpen, but the landline call at Marlins Park just wouldn't go through. He couldn't use a carrier pigeon, and he couldn't send a telegram, so Maddon improvised as best he could: He dispatched infielder Will Rhymes to deliver the message. The human element be...
Pat Summitt Hit A Hole-In-One Yesterday
Pat Summitt, the recently retired Lady Vols legend, has apparently been practicing her golf game with all that new found free time. She and her foursome, which included "former player Lisa Reagan, Billie Moore, who coached Summitt at the 1976 Montreal Olympics, and ESPN analyst Debbie Antonelli," w...
How To Not Piss Off The World With Your Email Signature
I once worked at an ad agency that forced employees to use an email signature. And not only did we have to have an email signature, but we had to rotate in new talking points about the company into the signature every week. "Did you know that Sturding Pooper Raper Lice was ranked a Top 50 Agency by ...
"I Am Sorry If I Had Disappoint You": A Dialogue Between An Extremely Frustrated Gamer And <em>Madden</em> Tech Support
From tipster "Peter King" comes this transcript of his encounter with Electronic Arts tech support. Mr. "King" comes bearing questions about his online Madden league. Manish from tech support brings up a nonexistent "online pass." Relations deteriorate pretty quickly from there. Watch as our Madden ...
Rick Reilly Mistakes Event In Satirical Article For Real Thing
One would assume that a professional sports writer would be able to discern satire from actual reporting, especially when said satire involves LeBron James punching Juwan Howard's walking cane. Well, today Rick Reilly proved that such an assumption is a dangerous one to make. Today Reilly published ...
Hawk Harrelson Has "Sacks Packed With Seamen"
We received several tips about this and considered it to be sort of juvenile. Yes, yes, Hawk Harrelson said "seamen" and it sounds like "semen" and his "sacks are full of them." But then we actually watched our footage and started laughing. Maybe that makes us juvenile, who knows, but it's pretty ...
<i>Game Of Thrones</i> Author Says Patriots Are The NFL's Lannisters
We already knew that George R. R. Martin, author of the A Song of Ice and Fire novels, is a Jets fan. (He called the Tebow trade awful, and Tebow the "worst quarterback in the National Football League.") So SI got him on the phone to talk some football....
UFC Star Jon "Bones" Jones Had Two Female Passengers When He Drunkenly Crashed His $250,000 Bentley
These days, when someone famous crashes their ride, we shouldn't assume we're going to get anything close to resembling the real story when initial details are released. It certainly happened with ex-Arkansas football coach Bobby Petrino, and it appears to be happening with UFC light heavyweight cha...
More Complaints About The ESPN Radio iPhone App "Money Grab"
Yesterday, we introduced you to ESPN Radio's wildly unpopular new iPhone app. People who had already paid $2.99 for the app over the last two-and-a-half years are being asked to pay an extra $4.99 for a "new app"/crypto-update in order to keep listening to the feeds they already subscribe to....