one Page 259 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
How To Watch The NCAA Tournament At Work
The play-in games—sorry, "first round"—are halfway done, so tomorrow sees the start of the traditional and comprehensible 64-team bracket that makes up March Madness. And there's nothing more traditional than blowing off productivity to watch the tournament, four games at a time, from the relative c...
Fat Chipper Jones May Or May Not Be Fat, But He Reportedly "Looks Terrible"
The good news is that Chipper Jones is officially seven pounds lighter than his 2011 playing weight. Now comes the rest of the news. His knee hurts. He's hitless in eight at-bats and has missed five games this spring. A scout told Jon Heyman of CBS Sports he "looks terrible" and that he seems to be ...
In The Name Of Competitive Balance, The NFL Plays The Bully And The Tyrant
The NFL is a dictatorship masquerading as a benevolent dictatorship. In redistributing $46 million in salary cap space from the Redskins and Cowboys to the rest of the league, the NFL is enforcing laws that don't exist, playing Robin Hood with blackmail, and generally continuing a tradition of arbit...
DadBoner Unmasked: Cracking The Internet's Biggest Mystery
Last week, we chronicled our efforts to find out the comic mastermind behind the great DadBoner twitter feed, an effort that was met with resistance by certain fans of the feed and by Karl Welzein himself, not to mention his fictional wife Ann Welzein. But that didn't stop tipsters from flooding us ...
Hot On The Trail Of Twitter's DadBoner, The Internet's Greatest Mystery
Bold flavors. Power moves. Chest beefers. A thousand beers, you guys. If any of those references are familiar to you, then you're probably one of the over 52,000 people who follow the DadBoner Twitter feed, which is probably the best Twitter feed ever written by an imaginary middle-aged Michigan man...
Jose Canseco Will Not Play In The Mexican League Because He Can't Pass A Drug Test
When he's not periodically melting down or being the huggiest person on Twitter, Jose Canseco still plays the occasional game of baseball. Last year he was player/coach of the independent Yuma Scorpions (a position not without its risks), and this year was to be a step up in the world: the Mexican L...
Lionel Messi Is The First To Ever Score Five Goals In A Champions League Match
Barcelona made easy work of Leverkusen in the return leg of their UEFA Champions League round of 16 series, winning 7-1 (10-2 aggregate)—but it was another night to celebrate Lionel Messi, who became the first player to ever score five goals in one Champions League match and the 11th in the histo...
Peyton Manning Leaves Insanely Good Tips At Restaurants
After he wrapped up his black ops throwing session at Duke, Peyton Manning went and had himself one fine meal with "Dallas Clark and others" at the Angus Barn in Raleigh, according to the friend of a friend named Jon who waited on the Manning party last Friday night. When the bill came just before 1...
Needing A Nine-Goal Swing To Qualify, Bahrain Wins Match 10-0
Here's every goal in Bahrain's 10-0 thumping of Indonesia, which was already fielding a bunch of junior players due to internal suspensions. Indonesia's goalkeeper was sent off in the third minute, and the floodgates opened....
"Nobody Likes The Game That They've Won Over And Over Again To Change": Lady Gaga Reviews <em>Moneyball</em>
Republished from V Magazine....
Shaq Speaks: I'm At A Low-C Performance Level As An Analyst, And I Don't See How The Fuck Steve Nash Won Two MVPs
Shaq's been pretty bad on Inside the NBA. He's playing the Barkley role at a sub-Barkley level, and Barkley's right over there, anyway. Thankfully, Shaq knows it, he tells Vibe....
Next Time Someone Wants To Argue Soccer Is Lame Because Everyone Flops, Play This Video Of Lionel Messi
I don't know if it's the music or the man but there is something hypnotizing about this video of Messi. His legs never stop churning, an observation even more noticeable because they are so small. The word "gritty" comes to mind but Messi is actually, you know, good. [reddit]...
There Is A Tim Tebow iPhone Game, And It Is Terrible
While the iTunes Store exploded with Tim Tebow-related apps in the heyday of Tebowmania, none of them really qualified as "games," most being trivia or Bible-related. Sensing a gap in the market, an outfit called TriStar Games (presumably no relation to the film studio) released "Tebit Time" earl...
Pirates Owner's Response To Team President's DUI Gives Us The Best Headline Of The Day: "Nutting Right On Coonelly"
I'm pretty sure the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette intends to tell us that columnist Ron Cook thinks Pirates owner Bob Nutting is correct for continuing to support team president Frank Coonelly, whose DUI arrest in December just became public knowledge yesterday. The headline was no doubt written that way ...
![Pirates' Flagship Radio Station Has Instructed Its Sports-Talk Hosts Not To Discuss Team President's DUI [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17efkt1nv6moxjpg.jpg)
Pirates' Flagship Radio Station Has Instructed Its Sports-Talk Hosts Not To Discuss Team President's DUI [UPDATE]
Put aside the fact that Frank Coonelly, the president of the Pittsburgh Pirates, was cited for DUI just before Christmas, only to have the news of it finally see the light of day today. The Pittsburgh sports-talk station that reached an agreement in September to broadcast the Pirates' games has now ...
Pittsburgh Pirates President Charged With DUI
Frank Coonelly's blood-alcohol level was allegedly at least twice the legal limit when he was pulled over in suburban Pittsburgh on Dec. 22. He was also charged with one count each of drunken driving, careless driving, and driving the wrong way, the last of which the Pirates have been doing for 20 y...
Fat Chipper Jones Says He's Not Fat
Everybody's getting in on the fun of calling Chipper Jones a fat ass. Per The Sporting News, manager Fredi Gonzalez stood around the batting cages at the Braves' spring training facility this morning and puffed his cheeks to make himself look like a fat dude. When no one on the team noticed, Gonzale...
Oscar Week: Why <em>The Descendants</em> Should Win Best Picture
Tim Grierson and Will Leitch will be writing regularly on Gawker and Deadspin about movies, starting this week. Today and tomorrow, we're going to shower love on our favorite films that are up for Best Picture. First up, why we'd be happy if The Descendants won the Oscar. Follow Grierson & Leitch on...
Bobby Jenks Is Not Fat Anymore
Chipper Jones might be fat. You know who is not fat? Red Sox reliever Bobby Jenks is not fat. The photo at right illustrated a Boston Globe story in January about Jenks's back surgery. He won't be ready in time for the first few games of spring training, but he will be newly svelte when he gets ther...
![Counterpoint: Chipper Jones Is Not Fat [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17eautbeqg0m8jpg.jpg)
Counterpoint: Chipper Jones Is Not Fat [UPDATE]
A few readers have pointed us to the Twitter account of David O'Brien, who covers the Braves for the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. O'Brien disputes the notion that Chipper's being a heavy presence at spring training. Yesterday, O'Brien tweeted the above photo to make his case, saying it was taken j...