one Page 271 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Five Geniuses You Meet In Heaven: Mitch Albom Discovers The Apple Store
After that whole thing about him winning a Red Smith Award that he probably shouldn't have won, Albom's stayed out of the spotlight. Or, wait, no: He's written a play and developed a TNT show. And, somewhere along the way, he found time to visit the Apple Store and write about it....

The Evil Arrests That Ray Lewis Was Talking About Have Already Started
Free-agent backup running back Garrett Wolfe, late of the Chicago Bears, was charged with retail theft, disorderly conduct, assaulting a police officer and resisting arrest with violence in Miami this morning. This was Wolfe's first newsworthy event since Wednesday when he spoke to the Chicago Sun-...

Here's Video Of Roy Jones Jr. Getting Knocked Pretty-Much Lifeless In Moscow Today
Roy Jones Jr. was, at one time, the best boxer on Earth. That time has long since gone. But in his light-heavyweight non-title bout against Russian Denis Lebedev in Moscow today, Jones made it deep into the third minute of the 10th round. He was prevented from reaching the final bell, though....

Tubby Messi Impersonator Dribbles Past Old Women, Sheep To Reenact Goal Against Real Madrid
That's how easy it is to get to Wembley, according to this silly video which looks to have been made by Opel and recreates Messi's second goal against Madrid in the first leg of the Champion's League semifinal. There's also a version with crones:...

Who Wants To See Daniel Tosh Get Punched In The Face By Manny Pacquiao?
We don't really know who Daniel Tosh is, but we are vaguely aware that he has a Comedy Central show called tosh.0 and that a lot of people think that both he and his show are awful. So we'll assume that a lot of people will want to see him get punched in the face by the best boxer in the world....

When AC Milan Won The Italian Soccer Title, A Player Paid Homage To Michael Jackson
First, it was a hideous statue outside English Premier League team Fulham's stadium. Now, Michael Jackson continues exerting posthumous control over the living world of soccer; this time, Kevin Prince Boateng of AC Milan did a damn good impression as AC Milan celebrated winning the Scudetto (aka S...

Lionel Messi Got A Stern Talking-To For Breaking An Airplane Wall (With Video)
It's all fun and games until a bunch of dudes celebrating their La Liga title on a plane take it one step too far. Specifically, hitting the wall of said plane so hard that a panel near the emergency exit falls off. Even more specifically, when the person doing the hitting is Lionel Messi of F.C. B...

Wayne Rooney Decided To Send A Message With Chest Hair Today
After his side clinched a record 19th English Premier League title with 1-1 draw vs. the Blackburn Rovers, cheeky Manchester United star Wayne Rooney simply posted, "Champions http://yfrog.com/h2cjceij."...

All Aboard The Bandwagon: Tampa Bay Writer Decides, On The Verge Of Conference Finals, That He Is A Hockey Fan
St. Pete Times writer Ben Montgomery has watched a grand total of seven Lightning games in his life, and they happen to be the most recent seven. The Lightning won all seven of those games. That's the kind of thing that makes one a hockey fan for life, right?...

It Was Wrestling Mask Night In Anaheim
Your morning roundup for May 11, the day the pre-prom body cavity searches were called off....

An Update On Telling You Which Soccer Player Had An Affair With This Lady
We felt very bad last time. We hate blind items (though we did guess Ryan Giggs). But there's this thing in the UK where celebrities can get court-ordered injunctions against newspapers publishing items about their personal lives. They're called injunctions, and lots of celebrities have them, and to...

What Would A 16-Man NBA One-On-One Tournament Look Like?
Back in February, right after Blake Griffin did that car-dunking thing, I talked with Craggs about doing a post outlining a potential 16-man one-on-one NBA tournament. This is because when you have to bring out a fucking car as a dunking prop, your dunk contest has probably outlived its usefulness. ...

Wrestler Could Have Gotten Away With Robbing A Bank If It Wasn't For His Meddling Fans
On the Combat Zone Wrestling field of battle, Nicholas Wilson went by the name of Nick Gage and his was best known for "his daring feats in the ring." Alas, grappling connoisseurs will go a half decade without seeing said daring feats unless they happen to be in a New Jersey state prison....

Falcons GM Tries To Justify Julio Jones
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the price was dear, but good teams just don't get players as good as Jones in the draft....

More Baseball Fans Care About Andre Ethier's Bowels Than Chipper Jones's Switch-Hitting Prowess
In tipster Zachary P.'s estimation, the difference between Andre Ethier's hit streak and Andre Ethier' shit streak is minimal. It is....

This Is Exactly What You'd Expect Jerry Jones's "War Room" To Look Like, Isn't It?
Tipster Eric asks, "Was there a little person in the Cowboys war room or a teenager?" That's easy. Totally a kid. Here's the important question: What were Isaac Chroner's specific instructions when he helped the lad* infiltrate the Dallas organization?...

Marriage License: Chris Bosh Is Officially Spoken For. Chris Bosh: No I'm Not.
Your morning roundup for April 24, a day Gabrielle Giffords continues struggling to recover, but recovering she is....

Lionel Messi Smacks The Ball At Real Madrid Fans But Doesn’t Mean It. Honest.
Lionel Messi has always been seen as the exception to the rule that to be a proper good footballer you needed to be a bit of a 'orrible git. You needed to like head-butting people (Zidane), make well-late tackles (Scholes), be outrageously arrogant (CR7), shag prozzies (Wayne), or just do loads of...

Floyd Mayweather Accompanied 50 Cent To Fight Night At Foxwoods And All He Got Was Booed
Your morning roundup for April 17, the day burglars everywhere accept the fact that trying to rob 81-year-old stroke victim/Korean vet Bobby Smith means they'll get a piping-hot frying pan filled with potatoes across the head....

Here's A Photo Of A Very Young Indians Fan About To Pound A Bottle Of Bud Light
This photograph is brought to you by tipster Jason Martynowski who notes, "I caught this on tv. Took a pic with my phone. Enjoy."...