one Page 279 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Is Someone Who's Purportedly Pacman Jones In Handcuffs Again? (UPDATED)
According to cincinnati.247.sports, "the car [Pacman Jones] was driving was forced off the road and onto the sidewalk by another car. As a result Jones apparently hit a pedestrian....
Here's A Waving Otter To Clear Your Heads Of Dong For The Weekend
Aww, he thinks he's people. Go here for more dong-free sweetness....
Shaq Wants A Little Friend Not Named Nate Robinson
Shaq wants to buy the world's smallest horse. Of course he does....
Teammate: Wayne Rooney Is "Working Class" And "Vulgar"
While most of us can't wait for this international break to be over, Man United's Federico Macheda will be hoping time goes really slowly while he's away with Italy's U21 squad, after making an "ill-advised" comment about his willy-swinging teammate Wayne Rooney....
ESPN Producer Caught Beating It Outside A Lady's Window
Win 17 Emmys, and no one calls you "Emmy-winner" Neil Goldberg. Head ESPN's NASCAR coverage, and no one calls you "motorsports guru" Neil Goldberg. But stand on a stool to masturbate to a woman getting dressed just once......
Jerry Jones's Bizarre Sexual Assault Lawsuit
Remember Jerry Jones's drunk video, in which he slammed Parcells and Tebow? A woman claims that later that night Jones assaulted her, had her drugged with GHB, and almost gave her a prostitute's STD. Strange stuff in here....
Deion Sanders Knows How It Feels To Get Used
Noted intellectual Deion Sanders ponders the life lessons of Cowboys WR Dez Bryant's $55K dinner bill. Says it's funny....
Wayne Rooney Is Not An Animal. Wayne Rooney Is A Human Being.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Chad Ochochinco's Phone Sex Cereal
Ochocinco's breakfast cereal has a number supposedly for a charity printed on it. I called it, and got this: "Get off with the sluttiest girls your imagination can dream up." Oh dear, Chad wants your children to grow up fast....
<em>The Tenth-And-One-Third Inning</em>: The Documentary Ken Burns Should've Made (UPDATE)
Ken Burns's The Tenth Inning has a lot going for it. However, thorough as he may be, Burns missed out on one of the biggest stories of the last two decades in baseball....
Weekend Winner: New York Jets, Enablers
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like alleged drunk driver Braylon Edwards, whose blood alcohol content was twice the legal limit not a week before he scored the touchdown that put the Jets ahead for good....
Leave Wayne Rooney Alone Now, Hints Sir Alex Ferguson
Kids, there is a big lesson here. Reach for the stars, by all means, but once there, don't mess it all up by prowling for threesomes when your glamourous wife isn't looking....
The Jets Introduced A Car Service For Players The Week Before Braylon Edwards's DUI
As pointed out this morning (and ReTweeted by Peter King — cats and dogs living together, mass hysteria), the most galling thing about Edwards driving drunk is the sheer number of alternatives. Here's another one: the Jets provide free cars and drivers....
Dork Beats Other Dork: The King Of Kong Returns
The guy from The King of Kong is once again The King of Kong. Steve Wiebe retook the world-record from Billy Mitchell, and the wussiest rivalry in the world was given new life. Bring on the sequel. [Seattle Post-Intelligencer]...
This Is Supposedly Braylon Edwards' Mugshot
Photo: Sent to us by a reader who had a "Buddy in the NYPD."...
Won't Someone Think Of The Gay-Panicky Columnist's Children?
For a master class in how to write a breathtakingly stupid sports column from the Cokie Roberts school of "How will we tell the children about blowjobs?" argumentum ad moppet, please read FanHouse's David Whitley, hemming and hawing about gays on the Kiss Cam....
Wealthy Jets Receiver Braylon Edwards Gets Pinched For DWI In City With Most Cabs Ever
After being stopped by police for driving erratically and blowing twice the legal limit, chinbeard enthusiast Braylon Edwards was charged with DWI Tuesday. The Jets, who have a car service for partying players, were astonished someone actually drove in Manhattan. [Daily News]...
10 Important Lessons To Take From Football Sex Scandals
It's enormously important for the moral growth of the nation that everyone reflects on the recent sex scandals—perhaps look long and hard into a nearby mirror and think about what you have gained from these tawdry goings-on?...
Man Masturbates In Toy Aisle To Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue
According to police, William Black grabbed the SI mag at his local Walmart, walked to the toy aisle, rubbed one out, and wiped it on a plastic light saber. [The Smoking Gun]...