one Page 286 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Slurring Jerry Jones Bad-Mouths Bill Parcells, Tim Tebow
A source sends along this video of a seemingly inebriated Jerry Jones waxing off about Tim Tebow ("he'd never get on the field"), Bill Parcells ("not worth a shit"), and how he got his stadium. Read the rough transcript after the jump....

One Shining Turd: A Brief Analysis Of How CBS Ruined Its "Moment"
The consensus is that CBS thoroughly murdered basketball's great cornball anthem, "One Shining Moment." Where did they go wrong? Deadspin research reveals that singer Jennifer Hudson logged a full 12 seconds of screen time, a record....

Ye Olde Shining Moment: A Basketball Montage To Remind Us How Good We Have It Now
Because neither video nor Luther Vandross was around in the 1940s, the NCAA Tournaments of those days concluded without the now-beloved "One Shining Moment" montage, which seems so very wrong. We've remedied the situation. Enjoy. [Footage via A Stern Warning]...

Some Losses Are More Painful Than Others
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Are You A Racist If You Root For Cornell?
Dan Shaughnessy, wrote a boring little filler column about why Cornell is better than Kentucky. Matt Jones, who covers Kentucky, says that attitude is elitist and racist. So who is the most wrong here? WRITER FIGHT!...

Vinnie Jones And Becksie To Remake Classic Football Movie!
For those who haven't seen the 1981 football masterpiece, Escape To Victory, you're really missing out on something quite special....

Oklahoma Freshman "Leavin Skool" To Enter NBA Draft
Tommy Mason-Griffin poetically declared for the draft on Facebook: "its a official dat i am leavin skool....ask me y i aint doin anotha yr yue mite get ignored." Yeah, I think he's gotten all he can from higher education....

Ozzie Guillen's Apple Did Not Fall Far From The Tree
The manager's 24-year-old son, Oney, "resigned" from the White Sox video department because of his rogue Twitter account, but his mom cleared it all up with the GM. It's gonna be a good year on the South Side. [FoxSports/Sun-Times/Yahoo; Pic]...

"Here Are 10 Things To Expect After You Turn 30"
This Black Table article was published, shit, six years ago and I'm encouraged by the fact that it is still as painful now as it was on March 18, 2004. Getting older is not fun. Make it stop....

C. Ronaldo’s Latest Attempt And 9 Great Football Adverts!
Listening to the various ad execs taking him through their latest idea must have caused something of a tightening in the Cristiano Ronaldo trousers....

Today In Hilarious Baseball Stat Acronym Humor
Ladies and germs, I give you Jerry Thornton of WEEI....

Fortunately, Drowning Is Only A Double Minor
Remember, Zamboni is a brand name for one specific ice resurfacing machine maker. For example, this one changes solid surfaces into liquid but it could've been manufactured by several different companies that will no longer honor the warranty. [DenverPost]...

Dallas Luminaries Join Forces To Raise Awareness Of Super Bowl XLV
The Dallas-Fort Worth Fox affiliate brought a group of notable Dallas sports and news figures together to promote the upcoming Super Bowl (only 334 days!). Can you name them all?...

Julius Peppers Would Like To Buy The World A Coke (And Some Overpriced Champagne)
The Bears lineman celebrated his new $91 million contract by buying 25 bottles of $350 champagne for guests at a nightclub. The deal contains Chicago's standard "Brewster Clause" requiring him to spend the entire amount within 30 days. [ChicagoTribune]...

<em>Moneyball</em> The Movie Clearly Not Selling Jeans Here, Either
Rob Neyer reports that the revived Moneyball movie has dropped Demetri Martin from the role of assistant GM Paul DePodesta and instead gone with Jonah Hill. Paul DePodesta just threw a chair at the wall. [SweetSpot]...

Wizards, Donuts, Knives, And Cannibalistic Fruits
Boner from Growing Pains committed suicide last week, and that left me sad. More important, it made me remember that I used to watch that show religiously, and spent a great deal of my childhood imaging that I was Mike Seaver. There was one episode where Carol brings home some new friend: a smoking ...

The Canadian Woman, Seen Here In Her Natural Habitat
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Lionel Hollins Would Like To Give A Hand. A Terrifying, Terrifying Hand.
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Locker Room Boxing May Be Leading To Canada's Hockey Downfall
A shocking exposé by the Toronto Star has revealed a dark secret of Canadian youth hockey—twisted teenage Fight Clubs organized in team locker rooms. It also revealed another secret: This happens all time and no one cares....

Stories That Don't Suck: Seduced By Ebersol, Produced By Arledge, Fish, Near-Death Psychedelia
Every week, I'll excerpt a handful of stories — old and new, sports and otherwise, relevant and merely sublime — that I urge you to read for one reason or another. Send any suggestions to [email protected]....