one Page 289 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brave Woman Gingerly Explains How Mark Cuban Checked Her Out One Night In Vegas
Always a great way to start a blog entry: "I was reluctant to write this blog because Mark Cuban does in fact have a family with kids and a lovely wife..."[The Flight Of My Life]...
Ten Questions To Ask A Woman Before You Propose To Her
Okay, so we tackled the ladies' end of this topic last week. I think it's only fair we flip the script....
Uga VII Is Dead. Long Live Uga VIII
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Maurice Jones-Drew To Miss Fantasy Playoffs Because Of His Brilliant Play
Are you one of the 10,000 (ESPN) fantasy GMs who lost because MJD took a knee rather than score a touchdown? Well, so is he. But remember, he had 145 yards and a TD anyway, so quit bitching. [ESPN]...
Steeler Fan Says Bears Fans Blinded Him With Roofies
They say that you should never take a drink from stranger that you didn't see poured yourself. That goes double for Steeler fans hanging out in Chicago bars, after one poor bloke says he was poisoned by local Ditka worshipers....
Ever Dream Of Shaq? You're Not Alone
In the grand tradition of experimental Dirk Nowitzki fiction, we bring you something we can't explain. Student art project? Ramblings of a madman? Signs of the impending Ashaqalypse? Check your sanity at the door....
Finally, Kobe Bryant Accomplishes Something
By scoring 41 points last night, Bryant became the youngest player ever to reach 24,000 points. The commenter who best incorporates this into an anal sex joke gets a +1 or whatever is behind Door No. 3. [USA Today]...
Searching For..."I LIV 4 THIS" Woman
Really. Thanks to one reader's wife who became Facebook friends with this happy "e"-less female Yankee fan last night, she's actually been found and identified. America, meet Amy W. AKA "I LIV 4 THIS" woman....
Searching For...Whoever The Hell This Lady Is
Deadspin's deadbeat ballplayer detective service has prompted more readers to reach out to us with more people-finding missions. The latest request is a little more complicated because it's, well, oh, just read the email......
Searching For...Enrique Wilson
Since our fine, upstanding readership was so helpful in tracking down Jose Lima for his ex-wife, Melissa, another ex-lover of a ballplayer requests your assistance. Yes, deadbeat wranglers, you've been deputized again. Please help Ms. Marina Valdez....
Popeye Jones Arrested, Gets Free Makeover From Police
Former Maverick draft pick and current Dallas assistant Popeye Jones was popped himself this weekend—nailed with a DUI and the nailed in the face when he resisted arrest. Ahhh, that's justice ... Texas style!...
Jenn Brown's Halloween Costume Just Made Me Commit A Personal Foul In My Pants
Jenn Brown is making it known that she is an up-and-comer in the Hottie Sports Reporter Pantheon. I haven't been this excited about black and white stripes since I ran into the Hamburglar at a McDonald's in Jersey. [Busted Coverage]...
Soon We'll Just Make Him Attorney General
A new team, a new jurisdiction; Shaq has applied to become a deputy sheriff in Cleveland. This shows me he's entirely unfamiliar with the city, which was long ago abandoned to lawlessness. [AP]...
Cyclist Gives Surprisingly Plausible Drug Excuse
Belgian Tom Boonen, on his positive test: "I was very drunk. I do not know what happened, but the next day I tested positive for cocaine." [Cyclingnews]...
Antoine Walker Did Not Manage His Money Well
In 12 years, Antoine Walker made roughly 55 million NBA dollars (after taxes, but not counting endorsement deals.) Yet, he has over $4 million in unpaid debts and faces felony check fraud charges. How the hell did that happen?...
Sam Bradford Reminds You To Not Stay In School, Kids
Cautionary tale Sam Bradford will end his college career with season-ending shoulder surgery and a ticket to the NFL combine. That's the last time he takes career advice from Billy Sims. [NYTimes/MorningNews]...
Shaq's Brain Having Some Growing Pains
With, oh, two days before the season starts, O'Neal is still having a little trouble memorizing the playbook. Seen on Mike Brown's flash cards: "Stand in the paint. Draw two defenders. Stay out of LeBron's way." [Plain Dealer]...
Corporate Layoffs Hit NBA Rosters?
Nearly half of NBA teams will start the season with fewer than the league-maximum 15 players, because many of them can't afford to pay the extra dead weight. Have they considered outsourcing the towel-waving to India ?[AP/ESPN]...
Eric Mangini Deserves Your Scorn ... But How Much Scorn?
Rolling Stone magazine's insult comic dog Matt Taibbi recently took a break from his assault on capitalist swine like Goldman Sachs to turn his wrath on a bigger and more menacing target—Cleveland Browns coach Eric Mangini....
Bissinger Continues His <em>Moneyball</em> Trolling
Buzz Bissinger, shit-pissing author of Three Nights as Tony La Russa's Sock Puppet, is back on his battered old Moneyball hobbyhorse, firing off angry fallacies left and right. [TNR, of all places]...