ones Page 108 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Braves Won Their First Monday Game In Nearly A Year
Looks like Garfield and Carl Crawford's heckler aren't the only ones who hate Mondays. The Braves had put together a mystifying, 0-16 streak in Monday games going back to last August. What's more, it hasn't been close: Atlanta only had three one-run losses over that span, all to the Marlins....

Jerry Jones: "I Want Me Some Glory Hole"
Hoo fucking boy, this is wonderful. Jerry Jones, while discussing the sense of urgency and pressure of being a Dallas Cowboy, mentioned how he yearns for the glory holes of yesteryear. He's been around 23 years and seen a lot—a lot—and the past few years have left a bad taste in his mouth. Time to ...

Man Catches Adam Jones Home Run Ball, Man Moons Everyone
Things don't get much more exciting than a fifth-inning home run, but this gentleman upped the ante when he decided to display his ass crack after snagging the line drive of Adam Jones's bat....

Can Anybody Understand What Chipper Jones Is Saying On Twitter?
"Mike b and jhey go yicketty! The roadrunner went mammo! And the Bravos have a winning road trip. My kind of day off, no action!!!" And here we thought Atlanta was, like, a regular American city. [Twitter]...

Lolo Jones's Hurdling Excellence Explained In One Cool Visualization
Lori "Lolo" Jones is primarily known for two things: Being the most famous 29-year-old virgin on the planet and for being one hell of an Olympic hurdler. She's going for gold in London, but this visualization from The New York Times should be required viewing for anyone planning to watch her run on ...

Chipper Jones's Underhanded Throw To The Plate Nearly Lands In The Stands
The ball was flying all over Turner Field last night, what with the Giants and Braves combining for six home runs, including four in extra innings. The Giants eventually won in the 11th thanks to three-run homers by both Brandon Crawford and Gregor Blanco, but they initially took the lead in the 10t...

Dhani Jones Took An Incredible Photo Of A Storm Consuming New York
Did you know it's raining hard over here on the East Coast? You probably did, because your East Coast friends on Twitter won't shut up about it. But when you've got a picture this good, it's okay to share....

Porn Star (And Official Gronk Friend) Bibi Jones Emotionally Announces Her Retirement
Two days ago, we learned that the Patriots were requesting that all things Gronktastic kindly come down a notch or 10. Now, we get word that 20-year-old porn star Bibi Jones, made famous by her now-infamous midseason pose with the Gronk himself last October, is bidding a tearful and emotional good...

Perry Jones III Can Jump 38.5 Inches, But Does It Matter?
Perry Jones' pre-draft measurements listed his maximum vertical jump at 38.5 inches, but according to the blog Hardwood Paroxysm, Jones only jumped that high twice in his entire college career. The observation inspired NPR's Mike Pesca to ask whether or not it even matters for a player of Jones' s...

Jon "Bones" Jones Sounds Like He Really Doesn't Want To Fight Anderson Silva
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Jones calls it "a lose-lose situation."...

Olympics Field Guide: Lolo Jones, The 29-Year-Old Virgin Hurdler
Name: Lori "Lolo" Jones...

Instagram Photos From The Brooklyn Cyclones' "Williamsburg Night"
It was Williamsburg Night at MCU Park, home of the Brooklyn Cyclones, a hipster-friendly mashup of the usual minor league quirkiness and a particular local flair. (And probably super-familiar for attendees, since they all moved to Brooklyn from the Midwest three years ago, amirite?) Among the promot...

Fellow Inmates Reportedly Sang "Hey, Teacher, Leave Those Kids Alone" To Jerry Sandusky
Following guilty verdicts on 45 of 48 counts, Jerry Sandusky was shipped off to Centre County Correctional Facility, the same facility he was initially held in December. According to a fellow inmate at the time, known only as Josh, Sandusky was on the receiving end of some a cappella ridiculing....

Chipper Jones, Your Ass Makes Women Go Crazy
A little moment of levity to break up all the dark vibes floating around would be nice, yes? Well, you can thank this woman sitting in the front row at Shithole Fenway Park watching Chipper take some hacks in the on-deck circle. Chipper is in the middle of his goodbye tour and it appears one fan w...

Note To Starbucks Baristas Everywhere: If You Find Yourself Serving Coffee To Mitch Albom, Spill It On Him
Mitch Albom, America's favorite fun-sized poetastering fabulist, decided to use his Sunday column space in the shrinking Detroit Free Press to whine about America's service workers in the haughtiest fashion possible....

Jury Awards Victims $11 Million in Pacman Jones Case
Welp, it looks like Adam Jones can amend his Scared Straight syllabus. A jury has awarded the victims in that Las Vegas shooting case $11 million in damages. Predictably, the opposing attorneys each have a different take....

The NFL Asks Pacman Jones To Scare This Year's Rookies Straight
I guess being a 147-time offender in the NFL actually does have its perks. Adam Pac-Man Jones told the Cincinnati media that Commissioner Roger Goodell has called on him to speak to this year's group of incoming rookies on how they can avoid screwing up whatever promising career they hold in front o...

So, Who Embarrasses Himself The Most In <em>Rock of Ages</em>?
The central appeal—or anti-appeal—of any Hollywood adaptation of a musical is not about the music or the choreography or the set pieces; it's about watching actors who don't usually sing, sing. One of the most fun aspects of Chicago was learning how charming and deft Richard Gere was; it was equally...

Rick Reilly Mistakes Event In Satirical Article For Real Thing
One would assume that a professional sports writer would be able to discern satire from actual reporting, especially when said satire involves LeBron James punching Juwan Howard's walking cane. Well, today Rick Reilly proved that such an assumption is a dangerous one to make. Today Reilly published ...

Hawk Harrelson Has "Sacks Packed With Seamen"
We received several tips about this and considered it to be sort of juvenile. Yes, yes, Hawk Harrelson said "seamen" and it sounds like "semen" and his "sacks are full of them." But then we actually watched our footage and started laughing. Maybe that makes us juvenile, who knows, but it's pretty ...