ones Page 114 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Roger Clemens, Mike Piazza Make Nice
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: everyone is old and mellow and past the bat-throwing incident....

What's Really Special About This Picture Is That Chipper Jones May Have Signed A 7-Inch Sperm Replica
The first weekend of baseball season wouldn't be complete without an "Atlanta Braves Chipper Jones Sperm Autograph" available to the highest bidder. As of 11 a.m., there were zero takers on the starting bid of $1. Fine, it's not authenticated, but this is still shocking when you consider that there...

The Weeping Kansas Jayhawk, In Happier Times
Your morning roundup for March 28, the day Lindsay became the artist formerly known as Lindsay Lohan....

Richmond Fought The Good Fight Against Kansas Until The Game Started
Your morning roundup for March 26, when James Corley of Conroe, Texas mulls the misfortune of not stopping after his 15th DUI conviction. Now, he'll have 99 years to practice counting to 1,030....

UFC 128: A Hero Is Made And Dollars Are Born
NEWARK — Newark is as close as the UFC can get to New York City, but it's still too far. In the week leading up to the light heavyweight championship bout between Jon "Bones" Jones and Mauricio "Shogun" Rua on Saturday night, the UFC welcomed fans to Radio City Music Hall, paraded a painted Chuck Li...

The Man Born Without A Right Leg Is America's Best 125-Pound Wrestler
Your morning roundup for March 20, the day Haitian frustrations still have a Fugee in hand pain....

Playtime: The Animals Shooting Baskets Megamix, Set To "One Shining Moment"
Animals play basketball, too....

The Best Sports Apps for Your Smartphone
March Madness is here, spring training is afoot, and fantasy players of all sports are honing their picks. Sports fans have unprecedented access to games, scores, and sports news from anywhere with there smartphones. Today we're rounding up the best… [Lifehacker] ...

Blake Griffin Did The Impossible And Sold Out A Nets Game
Blake Griffin has impressed us all this year. He has dunked a lot, sometimes over cars, more often over humans, and it's been fun to watch. This may trump it all, though: Blake Griffin sold out a home game for the New Jersey Nets. He can retire now....

Here's How God Helped The NCAA Totally Screw Baylor Off The Tournament Bubble
Earlier this week, the New York Times ran a story about Baylor freshman forward Perry Jones III. Detailing his eighth-grade verbal commitment — "[H]e never wavered, even as coaches from more-traditional college-basketball powers, including Kansas and U.C.L.A., sent letters to his home" — it painted...

Don King Embroiled In Knockdown Court Battle With Puerto Rican Taco Stand
Having tired of fighting Mike Tyson and Lennox Lewis in court, Don King has set his sights on a new opponent – Delia Esquilín-Mendoza, the owner of a taco shop in Puerto Rico. On March 1 2003, Delia's Tacos intercepted a closed-circuit transmission of the Roy Jones Jr.- Jon Ruiz fight and deprived K...

Pacman Jones Wears A Neck Brace To Court, Has His "Life In Order," Gets A Year Probation
Your morning roundup for Feb. 25, the day you can feel safer because the Army may have used mind-control ops to persuade U.S. Senators to throw more war-bucks and war-flesh their way....

Here's Video Of White Guys On Skates Rapping For Charity
Here are several members of the Cincinnati Cyclones organization performing "I'm On The 'Clones," which is not only billed as an awareness-builder for volunteer-group Hockey Players for Kids (HP4K), but it's the "first official music video in team history."...

James Earl Jones Does Justin Bieber
It's the karaoke precisely no one was waiting for, but now that it's here, we couldn't be more thrilled. Enjoy James Earl Jones's rendition of "Baby," in a proper context....

Real American Fans Shut Out Of Real American Event Do Real American Thing And Sue
Somehow two silly displaced Super Bowl ticketholders and their eager lawyers managed to devise a lawsuit just as profoundly stupid as Dan Snyder's. They're seeking more than $5 million from the NFL, the Cowboys, and Jerry Jones personally. Why?...

Here's Video Of Last Night's One-Punch NHL Goalie Fight
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Novitzky Scalps
Barry Bonds: Charged with four counts of perjury and one count of obstruction of justice for telling a federal grand jury he never knowingly used steroids. The substance he's accused of taking, The Clear, was neither illegal nor specifically banned by baseball at the time of his testimony. Trial is ...

Police Called To Bill Simmons's Home For Burglary Only To Find Mighty Mighty Bosstone In Socks
If not for a podcast of four lesser-known comedians, the world probably would have never heard about the absurd Keystone Coppery that went down during a recent football Sunday at the Sports Guy's manse. Follow along with the audio, courtesy Megaboom....

Gingerbread Peyton Manning Has Reese's Cup Football, Frosting Dong
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Victorious MMA Fighter Repeatedly Pukes His Guts Out
Come for the initial spew. Stay for the second round that nearly soaks the poor bastard cleaning up the first puddle. [POSSIBLY NSFW: THIS VIDEO IS GROSS AND SHOULD NOT BE VIEWED BY ANYONE]...