ones Page 123 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while keeping your opinions to yourself......
The Size Of Zyg Gregorek's Boat Is Just Fine, Thanks
If you're searching for the world's greatest fisherman look no further. And here I thought it was the guy on the Gorton's fishsticks box. Anyway, a British angler has caught nine species of shark, including the great white, which led some international organization of big-game fishermen to dub him t...
From Cheerleader To Puck Bunny
NHL.com wises up, hires former Texans cheerleader to...something something cheerleader. [Japers' Rink]...
Larry Wayne Jones Jr. And The Chase For .400
The controversy continues to rage: Should a grown man answer to the name of Chipper? My vote is no, unless you appeared in a '60s sitcom starring Fred MacMurray, or are hitting over .400 in the major leagues. Here's to Chipper Jones of the Atlanta Braves, who is hitting .420 as of Thursday night aft...
Baseball Taking Much-Needed Milestone Break
One of our favorite early-season baseball rituals is the old "on-pace-for" game. Unfortunately, it's slim pickings this year; no one's hitting a ton of homers, and there aren't many individuals completely tearing up the league. (It's almost as if they're missing some sort of value-added supplements ...
On Race, Message Boards And Shutting The Hell Up
Of all the panels on "Costas Now" the other night, the one we thought was most effective at tickling the cerebral cortex was the last one, about race, featuring Cris Carter, Michael Wilbon and Jason Whitlock. (It was so absorbing that "Costas Now" is doing a full 90-minute segment just on race down ...
Who Is This Old Man In My Online Baseball Schedule?
So I'm perusing the Giants schedule on their MLB site and look what I see on May 22. Apparently we're all going to the movies! I expect to see ads on the periphery of my baseball schedule, but within the schedule itself? It's just one small step from that to Doritos ads on players' uniforms. (They'r...
Take A Tour Of Pacman's Crib
Now that he's headed for the bright, shining silver star of Dallas, Adam "Pacman" Jones no longer needs his digs in Tennesse. For just $1.8 million, you can move into 4282 N Chapel Rd in Franklin, and call this spacious, stripper-friendly abode your own....
Karl Malone's Son Is No Son Of His
The best story from yesterday's five rounds of the NFL Draft has to be that of Demetrius Bell, an offensive lineman out of Northwestern State drafted by the Buffalo Bills. He's the son of former Mexican-girl-chasing NBA superstar Karl Malone. Not that either Malone or Bell is particularly happy abou...
Welcome Back, Pacman; We Await The Rain You Shall Make
So, now that Pacman Jones has joined the Dallas Cowboys, we ask: How will he deal with the changing rules for Dallas-area strip clubs?...
It's Raining In Dallas...Pacman's A Cowboy
Ed Werder just called from the ESPN Mort phone into Sports Center and said that the Cowboys have worked out a deal to bring Adam "Pacman" Jones to Big D. The Titans have agreed "in principle" to a trade, so we're assuming that means that the components of the deal have yet to be finalized....
Deadspin Vs. Cat Lady. Let's Watch The Fun
It seems that Deadspin readers have been naughty once again. On Friday many of you infiltrated The Animal Advocate blog comments section, and hilarity, as they say, ensued. But like most parties around here, things may have gone a little too far. Iracane has been notified and a full investigation is...
Is Star Jones In Dwyane Wade's Five?
Chances are this isn't even remotely close to being true, but it's so preposterous and gross that it's at least somewhat amusing. The always reliable gossip site Mediatakeout is reporting that Miami Heat's injured forward Dwyane Wade is (blecch) now (plettch) dating (claggh) the saggy old remains of...
T-Bones' Michael Vick Promotion Under Fire
Well, it seems that not everyone's thrilled with the Kansas City T-Bones' big Michael Vick baseball promotion. The NAACP is one organization that's a little peeved. And so is Kristy Winfrey, who authors the Kansas City-based Animal Advocate blog. There is a warmth in my heart as big as a certain dec...
Remember, You Will Be Weeping To This Man's Song Later
This harmless looking fellow is named David Barrett, and he's probably made you cry too many times in your life. Yes, he might look like a mime without his make up or a professional puppeteer, but, in fact, he's the songwriter who penned "One Shining Moment." On his website, this is how the song tha...
Cowboys' New Exxon Field Sounds Slick
Fanhouse highlights a Dallas Morning News report that the Cowboys could get as much as $20 million a year for the naming rights for the new stadium the team will move into in 2009. Though conspicuously missing usual JJ shills like Papa Johns and Pepsi, the clubhouse leaders are the more non-junk fo...
Pac Man Jones Played By Bad Party Planners
We reported earlier that the attached poster involved a party that Pac Man Jones was hosting. This was not, in fact, true. The club itself has even apologized, in an email to Pro Football Talk:...
About Last Night
What you missed while fleeing random monkey violence ... • NBA: Celtics win on St. Patrick's Day. This would be significant if any of their players were Irish. • MLB: Mr. Baseball ... Matsuzaka to start for Red Sox in Japan opener. • NHL: Wild beat Avalanche to climb into first. Thank you for watchi...
Hockey Beefcake As Bad As You Feared
A gallery of hockey hunks for, uh, the ladies. [Orland Kurtenblog]...
The Most Excrutiating Office Conversations
We reach the midway section of Super Bowl Week, and this is just about the time when all the casual sports fans in your offices start noticing that there's a game Sunday. And that means you're about to sit through some really inane office chatter. The Sports Hernia compiles the best ones....