open Page 92 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

U.S. Open Should Begin Any Day Now
After four days of interminable, Noah's Ark-like rain, it's my understanding that the US Open golf thingy will actually start sometime today. Oh, they already started—and stopped—the fourth round in the darkness last night? How lucky....

The U.S. Open At Bethpage Black, Sponsored By Happy Gilmore
The New York galleries are so lively, we've heard all week. They're great for golf, and the players love it! Turns out, it's all just a euphemism for "New Yorkers like to get tanked and heckle Tiger Woods."...

Let's All Jump Into Puddles
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Barnes Bears Down At Bethpage
Former US Amateur champion and University of Arizona star Ricky Barnes set the 36 hole US Open scoring record at -8 following the second round 65 he completed in this morning's favorable conditions....

ESPNUSGA Could Really Use Some Comment Ninjas....
Mickelson, right now, is tied for 5th at -1. Tiger went astray. Peter Hanson is in the lead...[USOPEN.com]...

It's U.S. Open Week And Everyone Needs Takeouts, So...
...let's write about how hard putting is. That hacker on your local muni, the one with the yips? Not so different from the winner at Bethpage Black, if they ever play. They worry about words like joule, though. [WSJ]...

The U.S. Open Is Open For Business
You were probably hoping that following the U.S. Open online would be a nice distraction from work today, but they just suspended play due to heavy rain. Hey, who wants to hear Tiger Woods cuss on teevee?...

Someone Likes Vijay's Swing
The New York Times: "Then someone yelled at Vijay Singh on the third green, complimenting his posterior in bold, succinct language." Is this Times-speak for "nice ass"? [NYT]...

French Open Idiot Has Done This Many, Many Times Before
The man's name is "Jimmy Jump" and he fancies himself some sort of professional shit-stirrer at sporting events. He has his own website, actually and solicits donations from people to help support his "funny antics." [Jimmy Jump (HT:Bill R)]...

Barca Loon Attempts To Rattle Federer With Annoying Flag-To-The-Face Taunt
During the second set of the French Open, Roger Federer was hassled by a person waving a Barcelona flag, who somehow managed to make his way onto the Roland Garros court and get all up in Federer's face....

Greatest Tennis Player Ever Finally Conquers The Pretty Clay
That's 14 major titles for Roger Federer, tying Pete Sampras, and securing his place as one of the most dominant athlete's in history. R-Fed waxed Robin Soderling 6-1, 7-6 (1), 6-4. [NYT]...

Serena Williams Bounced From French Open
A three-set loss to Svetlana Kuznetsova. So both Williams sisters, Maria Sharapova, the chick with the giant rack, and the shrieking girl are out of the French Open. It's almost like they're daring you to pay attention. [Roland Garros]...

Female Tennis Star With Prodigious Backside Accuses Opponent Of Cheating
"Drama" was the word Serena Williams used after her French Open match against Maria Jose Martina Sanchez. Williams claims Sanchez used her arm instead of a racket to return a ball over the net, prompting a finger-pointing outburst and introspection....

Lakets. Rockers. Game 7 Open Thread.
Will Kobe take this series back? Will Ron Artest lick his neck? Will Luis Scola's swarthy musk be too much for the Lakers too handle? Find out which of these brave competitors will earn the right to be defeated by the Nuggets. [Yahoo]...

Open Thread: NHL Playoffs
Flyers up 4-2 in the second. This is your open thread, puckheads. [NHL.com]...

Open Thread: NBA Playoffs
Append your trenchant hoop analysis below. Possible topic for discussion: Hot hand — myth or no? [TrueHoop]...

Philadelphia Raises Its Championship Flag, Acts Accordingly
And it wasn't even Dollar Dog Night. But Phillies fans are not used to feeling superior and continue to adjust. Even though the frustration of 28 championship-less years has more or less disintegrated, there's obviously still a lot of bite with these puppies. A simple discourteous shove in Ashburn A...

Yankees All Of A Sudden Don't Like Fan Interference
It's hard to imagine an opening day that could have gone better for the Orioles, and that doesn't just include the torrent of abuse they let loose on "Treasonous Tex."...

Your Team's Season Is Already Over
The Yankees offseason maneuvers are a complete and total disaster. They might as well have taken $340 million and dumped it in the Harlem River for all the good it did them. What a disgrace....

The Worst Ceremonial First Pitches Of All Time
In honor of opening day, here's a tribute to those who wish they could throw like a girl. Seriously, who invited the freakin' dinosaur? [Watch This Now]...