orleans Page 13 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Erects Towering Straw Man In Shitty Drew Brees Cover Story
Sports Illustrated’s latest cover story is about New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees, who is in his 18th season in the NFL and has long been acknowledged as one of the greatest of all time. In the waning years of a great player’s career it makes sense that SI would do a big ol’ feature on th...

Ass Team Of The Week: You And The Philadelphia Eagles Will Be Trampled By The Stampede Of Time And Left For Dead
Here is an easy prediction to make: the Philadelphia Eagles are certainly not going to repeat as Super Bowl champions. It’s very unlikely, at this point, that they will even return to the playoffs. Their 4-6 record relays that information plainly enough, but the 48-7 loss they suffered at the hands ...

Malcolm Jenkins Flipped Off Sean Payton After Alvin Kamara Burned Him
The Saints spent their entire Sunday afternoon embarrassing the Eagles, but the most humiliating moment might have come early in the fourth quarter of the eventual 48-7 win. Up by 31 already and facing 4th-and-7 just outside of field goal range, the Saints elected to go for it. Drew Brees hit Alvin ...

Jrue Holiday Will Punish You For Worrying About Anthony Davis
The Toronto Raptors came into last night’s home game against the New Orleans Pelicans as the hottest team in the NBA, with a league-best 12-1 record and on a six-game winning streak. They had third-best offense and eighth-best defense in the league, and have done all this with Kawhi Leonard already ...

Sean Payton Destroyed A Fire Alarm Before The Saints Destroyed The Bengals
Whether Saints head coach Sean Payton was angry or just trying to hype up his team before Sunday’s game against the Bengals, he seriously fucked up the fire alarm in the visiting locker room at Paul Brown Stadium. What’d he use to do this damage? Does he have fists made of steel?...

NFL Fines Michael Thomas Like Joe Horn For Celebrating Like Joe Horn
After NFL officials saw Michael Thomas celebrate a touchdown with a flip phone just like Joe Horn did in 2003, the league decided to fine Thomas like they did Horn in 2003. The current Saints receiver got hit with a $30,000 fine for using the phone as a prop and having a mobile device on the bench i...

New Saints Receiver Dez Bryant Might Have Torn His Achilles At Practice
This really sucks. Two days after Dez Bryant signed a one-year contract with the New Orleans Saints, specifically so he could join a good team and prove he was worth a multi-year deal next offseason, he left practice with an injury that might be an Achilles tear, according to multiple reports....

Marcus Peters Says If Sean Payton Keeps Talking Shit They Will Have A "Nice Lil' Bowl Of Gumbo" Together
If you are not already aware of the fact that Rams cornerback Marcus Peters makes for a fantastic locker-room interview, allow me to rectify that for you....

The Dallas Cowboys Are Still A Mess
The Dallas Cowboys added wide receiver Amari Cooper in a trade with the Oakland Raiders during their bye week. It helped! Cooper was the Cowboys’ leading receiver, catching 5 passes for 58 yards and a score on Monday night. It didn’t help the Cowboys win, of course: They lost at home to the Tennesse...

Dez Bryant Teaches Us A Very Valuable Lesson About Never Settling For The Browns
Dez Bryant has finally found a team that’ll give him what he wants, and it’s a pretty good team, too. The New Orleans Saints have agreed to sign the former Cowboys receiver to a one-year deal for the rest of the season....

The Pelicans Are Spiraling, But At Least Julius Randle Is Kicking Ass
Here is how more or less every Julius Randle possession seems to go this season....

Michael Thomas’s Cell Phone Celebration Was Cool, No Matter What The Announcers Said
It was a great game. The Saints scored 35 first-half points, with Drew Brees throwing for three scores. Jared Goff led the Rams all the way back from a 21-point deficit to tie things up in the fourth. Then, late in the fourth quarter, the Saints had the ball in their own territory leading by just th...

Michael Thomas Pays Homage To Joe Horn With Flip Phone Touchdown Celebration
Michael Thomas caught a 72-yard touchdown to give the Saints a double-digit lead with under four minutes to play against the undefeated Los Angeles Rams. But things got better for New Orleans: Thomas celebrated the touchdown by recreating the Joe Horn touchdown cell phone celebration from 2003. A to...

This Malcolm Brown Touchdown Catch Is An Unreal Feat Of Body Control
This twinkle-toed touchdown reception by Rams running back Malcolm Brown, in which he somehow manages to dodge two onrushing Saints defenders and keep his feet inbounds despite having to do it all with just a sliver of grass between him, them, and the sideline, is just incredible....

Regis Prograis, The Swamp Creature, Is Evolving
To prepare for the swamp monster, the New Orleans Lakefront Arena had a little fog machine going, with a fan attached to it, like a college house party. There were concentric circles of vertical spotlights, and when they put them on through that fog machine you could, with a little imagination, thin...

Normal Joe Flacco Bought A Mattress From Sean Payton's Brother Down The Jersey Shore
The Saints beat the Ravens on Sunday on the rarest of rarities. So there would’ve been a lot to potentially talk about in the postgame meet-and-greet, but Joe Flacco got right to the important stuff: He needed to let Sean Payton know that Payton’s brother sold him a mattress on the Jersey Shore a fe...

Pelicans Brass: Please Stop Calling Our GM A Pile Of Poop
Dell Demps has not had a great run as general manager of the New Orleans Pelicans. Mostly he has squandered the early part of Anthony Davis’s career, weighing down the roster with stiffs like Ömer Aşik and Alexis Ajinça, and making years’ worth of win-now moves that never actually produced a sustai...

Elfrid Payton Has Neat New Hair And Neat New Teammates
Some of the uncertainty coming into this season, for the New Orleans Pelicans, concerned the departure of Rajon Rondo, who played an important role in the team’s strong finish last season and then left in free agency, and his replacement, Elfrid Payton. If, like mine, your brain has been turned to s...

Michael Thomas Stayed Up Late To Needle "Goof Ball Con Artist" Josh Norman On Twitter
Saints wide receiver Michael Thomas and Skins cornerback Josh Norman spent much of last night feuding on Twitter after New Orleans drubbed Washington 43-19 on Monday night. It started with three different Skins defensive backs calling out Thomas in their post-match pressers for being a twerp....
![Refs Flag Excessive Celebration After Drew Brees Breaks All-Time Passing Yardage Mark [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/yizri5bpsorpbvjzxwqt.gif)
Refs Flag Excessive Celebration After Drew Brees Breaks All-Time Passing Yardage Mark [UPDATE]
Drew Brees came into Monday night’s home game against Washington needing 201 yards to break Peyton Manning’s career passing yardage record of 71,940* yards. He could’ve dinked and dunked his way to the record, but fuck that—in the second quarter, with his team already up 20–6, Brees unloaded a long ...