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Oscars Fuck Up Best Picture Announcement [UPDATES]
“This is not a joke.” ...
Viola Davis Gave An Academy Award Acceptance Speech To Remember
As expected by everyone, Viola Davis claimed the Supporting Actress Oscar for her work in Fences. Her acceptance speech was the kind you’ll see replayed on Academy Award broadcasts fifty years into the future—hitting every corner of emotion while stating her commitment to “exhume those bodies; exhum...
Bonk
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Justin Timberlake Is The GOAT
The most talented, and frightening, man in show business....
The 2017 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars<em></em>
Oh God, it’s Oscar time again. Just what I needed in the middle of the fucking apocalypse. Donald Trump is President. Russia has hacked all of our phones and is actively watching us masturbate. And every public school is going to teach your kids that gay people come from the fucking moon. These are ...
Oscar De La Hoya Arrested For DUI
Former boxing champion Oscar De La Hoya was arrested for driving under the influence early this morning in Pasadena, Calif., after he failed a series of field sobriety tests. ...
Some Ryan Gosling Movies That People Like Actually Are Not Good
La La Land is not good. Actually it’s bad. It’s going to win a bunch of Oscars because it has Ryan Gosling in it, and Ryan Gosling is a handsome man who is understood to choose good roles in ambitious awards-y movies, and then to not make many facial expressions in those movies, in a style of acting...
Chinese Club Buys Oscar For Ungodly Sum Of Money And Nothing Makes Sense Anymore
The insanity of the Chinese Super League’s all-out assault on the traditional soccer hierarchy continues apace. All of it is shocking and none of it makes sense but this does indeed appear to be the new reality....
Oscar Pistorius Sentenced To Six Years In Prison
Three and a half years after Oscar Pistorius fatally shot his girlfriend Reeva Steenkamp in his Pretoria home, following a conviction, an appeal, and another conviction on more serious charges, the track star was sentenced to six years in prison for murder....
That Time Two Cyclists Tried To Fix A Tour de France Stage And Royally Screwed Up
It’s the final climb of Stage 15 of the 2005 Tour de France, the queen stage of the last Tour Lance Armstrong will win before retiring. A small group featuring the General Classification contenders and a few hangers on is grinding up the Pla d’Adet, when Oscar Sevilla makes the first attack five kil...
There Are At Least Four Classic References In This Image
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Let's Watch Unaired Footage Of Celebrities Buying Girl Scout Cookies
Chris Rock performed a bit during tonight’s Academy Awards about his daughters’ Girl Scout troop selling cookies at the ceremony. And they really did sell cookies—with celebrities handing over hundreds for boxes of Thin Mints....
Steve Kerr Burns Warriors Haters
Surely you’ve seen Steph Curry’s celestial game-winner from last night by now. It was one of the coolest sports moments of 2016, as well as a well-timed rebuttal to the newish wave of old-ass basketball players doing the “back in my day,” routine. Steve Kerr used the opportunity to lace a pretty sea...
The 2016 Hater’s Guide To The Oscars
Chris Rock is hosting the Oscars this year, and he took the gig long before the nominees were announced and everyone got pissed because all of them were white. So here we have one of the greatest social commentators of his generation presiding over a ceremony that is in DESPERATE need of a public fl...
Chinese Club's Enormous Bid For Oscar Shows China Is Serious About This Shit
If all the mid-tier European-quality players the Chinese Super League has bought this transfer window haven’t hammered home just how serious the league is about getting really good really fast, and if the purchase of potential top-end talents like Jackson Martínez and Alex Teixeira for gobs of money...
If The Oscars Nominated Good Movies, They Wouldn't Be The Oscars
For 363 days a year, nobody gives a fuck about the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Today is one of the two remaining days, when suckers care—and other suckers pretend to care—about who gets nominated for the Oscars, which are worthless trash and always have been....
Oscar Pistorius Found Guilty Of Murder
A South African appeals court overturned Oscar Pistorius’s previous conviction on lesser charges in the death of his girlfriend, and found the Olympic sprinter guilty of murder, which could carry a sentence of at least 15 years in prison....
Here's What Happened Last Time Chris Rock Hosted The Oscars
Chris Rock will host the 2016 Oscars, which gives us hope for a brighter, less boring award-show future. The last time he was on duty was 2005, and he did a pretty bang-up job. He was also much meaner than you probably remember....
Here's Your Ridiculously Early 2016 Oscar Preview
The next Academy Awards will be hosted by Chris Rock and will be held on February 28, 2016. That is 130 days from now. By then, the Iowa caucus, and the New Hampshire and South Carolina primaries, will be over. The Super Bowl will be a fading memory. Selection Sunday will be two weeks away. It is a ...