out Page 179 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Win By Five, Lose The Game, Says Absurd Youth Soccer Rule
Old hotness: lead by five goals, game is called via slaughter (or "mercy") rule. New hotness: lead by five goals, other team automatically wins. The pussification of youth sports continues apace....
Last Night's Winner: The Rest Of The NFC North
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Tarvaris Jackson's chances of starting, which look pretty bright since Brett Favre has hitched his latest comeback to the hopes of a long-shot college baseball team....
This Is What Happens When You Do Ecstasy At Home By Yourself In Your Underwear
He actually took a sedative to calm himself down a bit. Then, of course, he strips and dances around with a pacifier in his mouth. Because it's rave or die time, I assume. Mesmerizing. [ViaAlexBlagg'sTwitter]...
Obvious, Yet Cringe-Inducing Hockey Article Of The Week
The Globe and Mail's James Mirtle wrote a piece this weekend on the potentially catastrophic effects of mouth injuries in the NHL and the "walk-it-off" culture surrounding them. Who's ready to grimace and suck their teeth in fear?...
Penis-Curious News Anchor Responds
Michael HIll, news anchor for New Orleans's ABC affiliate and a man with a penchant for wonderfully awkward questions, has seen our post and writes in to say he does indeed know from banter. E-mail after the jump....
World Cup Email Scam Promises The Most Awesome Party Ever
A forwarded email promises a South Africa private beach party with champagne and lobster, lions and elephants, and a DJ spinning house tunes who also carries a gun in case the wild beasts get out of hand. Holy shit, please be real....
Lebron Makes Live-Action Mega Man Movie
Sure, it's a filmmaker named Eddie Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Comics Alliance]...
Lebron Once Gunned Down Five Members Of Congress
Sure, it was a Puerto Rican independence activist named Lolita Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [The Hill]...
Lebron Attends Prom In Duct Tape Tux
Sure, it's an Ohio high schooler named Louie Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Youngstown News]...
Lebron Arrested For Impersonating An Officer
Sure, it's a Chicago man named David Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Sun-Times]...
Lebron Vows To Save New York
Sure, it's a former Albany mayoral candidate-turned-deputy commissioner at the State Liquor Authority named Nathan Lebron. But still, could you imagine? [Times Union]...
Lebron Undergoes Elbow Surgery
Sure, it's an Orioles minor league pitcher named Luis Lebron. But still, could you imagine? (Did you folks forget this little gem?) [Balt Sun]...
9-Year-Old Beer-Drinking Hockey Players, aka Regular Canadians
A Saskatoon youth hockey team is under fire after posting a video showing the mites with open cans and bottles of beer. Little Pelle Lindbergh proceeded to drive his Big Wheel directly into a school. [Canwest]...
Lawrence Taylor Doesn't Recall Much From His Draft Day
Which he blames on the 41 beers he says he drank (in fairness, they were Coors Lights). I wonder what he's drunk on in this video?:...
A Treasury Of Pee-Wee Football Players Knocking The Crap Out Of Each Other
The NFL Draft is tonight, and in honor of that most drawn-out of events, let's take a look at the hard-hitting players likely to be climbing Mel Kiper's Big Board in 2020....
Happy 65th Birthday, Shirtless Steve Spurrier
Right now, Spurrier is snorkeling somewhere down in the Bahamas. Judging from that photo, some lucky tropical fish are admiring his chiseled bare torso....
Mascot Falls Off Dugout Roof, Thrills Hundreds
The Reno Aces are a Triple-A Diamondbacks affiliate. Why they have Grimace Jr. and a moonwalking wolf with a lack of spatial understanding for mascots is beyond me, but they sure can move. [Slanch Report, music via Technotronic]...
So It's Come To This: Betting Scandal Hits Professional Gaming
Professional StarCraft is serious business in South Korea, and match-fixing allegations have local media comparing it to the Black Sox Scandal. And this is Korea, where they know baseball. So that's not just uninformed hyperbole....
USA Swimming's Monstrous Coaches And The "Culture of Sexual Misconduct"
An investigative report on last night's 20/20 presented startling stories of young swimmers sexually abused, secretly videotaped, and even impregnated by monstrous coaches. Has USA Swimming created a unique "culture of sexual misconduct," as ABC News would have you believe?...
Y.E. Yang Or Last Night's Chinese Food Delivery Boy? "Venerated" Golf Writer Isn't Sure
Elder statesman golf writer Dan Jenkins, live on Twitter: "Y.E. Yang is only three shots off the lead. I think we got takeout from him last night." Um, I hope he tipped well?! A roundup of early Twittereplies:...