out Page 207 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night
What you missed due to a slight hemorrhoid flareup ... • NFL: Hey, the Texans played the Broncos last night. Hey! Hello? Is this thing on? • NHL: Luke, I'm your father, eh. Turn to the dark side you hoser. Hemsky, Oilers end Red Wings' win streak, 4-3. • Actual headline: "Steroids Report Upstages Go...

About Last Night
Twas The Night Before The Mitchell Report, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring (LaRussa was soused) ... • Man, I really hope there's a George Mitchell action figure with "Special Envoy to Northern Ireland kung fu grip" under the Mitchel Report Tree tomorrow. — Hank Scorpio...

Swim, You Brave, Magnificent Bastards! Swim!
OK, I can hear you complaining already. But the fact remains that I have lived most of my adult life by one simple rule: Anytime a game fish reenacts a scene from one of my favorite movies, it gets its own post. The movie is Shawshank Redemption, and this is one of those times....

About Last Night
What you missed while composing The Ballad of Nick Saban (some lyrics NSFW) ... • NBA: Don Nelson says Warriors' win over Spurs deserves an asterisk. • MLB: Mad Max, Beyond Fukudome ... Cubs bolster outfield for only $48 million. • NHL: Dual hat tricks? Get Out! (Elaine shoves Jerry). Flyers 8, Peng...

Fun Time In Dolphins Land
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw. Therefore, Football Guys, the official chatroom of the NFL. It will run here on Deadspin weekly, every Tu...

About Last Night
What you missed while collecting your free $25 ... • NFL: Call off the dogs! ... um, I mean, Saints 34, Falcons 14. • NBA: This just in ... Knicks lose, blame their fans. • NHL: Former Paul McCartney band beats Predators 2-1....

About Last Night
What you missed while searching for your tortoise. "He's on foot — he couldn't have gotten far ..." • NFL: Still a lot of talk about 1984. But Orwell never predicted this. Colts 44, Ravens 20. • NBA: Laker voodoo still effective against Warriors. LA 123, Golden State 113. • Rangers beat Devils! Davi...

About Last Night
What you missed while discovering that White Russians and red wine make for a diabolical combination... • NBA: Josh Howard and Deron Williams put on a spectacular display of point accumulation. • CBB: Dayton stuns Louisville while my guitar Flubby gently weeps. • Boxing: Floyd Mayweathe, you magnifi...

For Your Viewing Pleasure
• 12:00 — CBB: Arizona at Illinois [ESPN] • 12:00 — Soccer: Women's NCAA Cup Semifinal UCLA vs. USC [ESPN2] • 12:00 — Soccer: Reading vs. Liverpool [FSC] • 2:00 — CBB: Dayton at Louisville [ESPN2] • 2:00 — CBB: Depaul at Kansas [ESPN] • 2:30 — Soccer: Nike U-17 Friendly: USA vs. Brazil [FSC] • 4:00 ...

About Last Night
What you missed while stumbling upon a ditch full of stumps... • NBA: The Wizards couldn't hang with the Suns, but at least I got to have a nice chat with my buddy Tony Brothers. • CBB: Virginia beat the Longwood Boners* but Mustapha Farrakhan was held scoreless in two minutes much to the dismay of ...

About Last Night
My sovereign lord, bestow yourself with speed: The squirrels are bravely in their battles set, And will with all expedience charge on us! • Up until last night I thought a Todd Collins was an alcoholic beverage. Redskins 24, Bears 16. • NBA: Miami ... the center of suck in the world of professional ...

About Last Night
What you missed while playing Zap-A-Bug ... • NHL: In a game narrated by Morgan Freeman, Crosby's first trip to Edmonton results in 4-2 win by Pittsburgh. • NBA: Always Be Closing! Iverson scores 51, but is only 1-for-4 in the fourth quarter as Lakers beat Nuggets 110-107. • MLB: This just in: A .22...

About Last Night
What you missed while doing a little Christmas decorating ... • NBA: Sun explodes, melts Pacers. Phoenix 121, Indiana 117. • MLB: Cabrera, Willis soon to breath in the sweet second-hand smoke of the Tigers' dugout following megadeal with Marlins. • College basketball: Don't you ever underestimate th...

Introducing The Dugout's "Football Guys"
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning for its wittiest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

About Last Night
Sure you love that bottle of Captain Morgan, but did it love you back? • NFL: Some sort of dramatic finish involving the Patriots and Ravens, with a game-ending melee near the goal line. Don't ask me: I was under the house trying to reattach the cable. • College women's basketball: Rutgers Fighting ...

Oh, Like You Didn't Know This Picture Was Coming
Yep, it's really happening: Illinois — Illinois! — is in the Rose Bowl. The game they play on New Year's Day. That one. Seriously. Zook in Pasadena. Zooooooooook....

About Last Night
What you missed while watching No. 11 on the list of the 100 Best Christmas Shows of All Time ... • NFL: It's Manning vs. Grossman, but one has to suck less than the other. • College basketball: Down go the Bruins! Texas prevails in final seconds. • NBA: Warriors are so hot they literally set the sc...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while stockpiling saving throws vs. cold for the upcoming snowstorms... • NCAA Football: Clusterfuckery reigns supreme as Missouri, West Virginia lose. • NCAA Basketball: Gonzaga beats Connecticut, returns back home to wherever the hell they're located. • Tennis: Well, looky, the Uni...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while, after pressure from the Sudanese government, renaming your teddy bear Osama... • NBA: Lou Holtz's pep talk fixed everything. Knicks 91, Bucks 88 • NCAA Football: This one had all sorts of Poinsettia Bowl implications. Fresno State 30, New Mexico State 23 • ♬ Dustin Byfuglien ♬...