out Page 228 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
About Last Night ...
What you missed while shaving your head ... • NHL: Point Break ... Islanders take significant win over Penguins. • College basketball: Mario "Superintendent" Chalmers leads Kansas over Kansas State, 71-62. • Tennis: Venus creaks to first-round win in Memphis International....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while cancelling plans for April 14, 2036 ... • NBA: Wayne Newton and Kobe Bryant top Siegfried and Roy 153-132 in All-Star Game. • NASCAR: By virtue of his being the only car not upside down and on fire, Kevin Harvick wins Daytona 500. • College basketball: ASU beats No. 22 USC for ...
About Last Night...
• College Basketball. North Carolina 77, Boston College 72. Jared Dudley, that was not clutch. • NASCAR. Kevin Harvick wins Orbitz 300. I'm not sure what to do with my hands. • NBA. Jason Kapono wins Foot Locker Three-Point Shootout. I can only hope that this somehow led to Antoine Walker feeling ve...
Because This Had To End With Tim Hardaway Being Nude On YouTube
Tim Hardaway might not enjoy gay people, but I really think it could give us all a chance to heal if gay people had a chance to enjoy Tim Hardaway. And since there's already footage available on YouTube that might facilitate this healing process... I feel morally obligated to bring it to you....
About Last Night...
• NBA: Sophomores 155, Rookies 114. David Lee takes it upon himself to prove that Isiah Thomas doesn't screw up everything. • NHL: Penguins 5, Devils 4. Man, that Jordan Staal's really coming along nicely, isn't he? • College Basketball: Winthrop 77, Missouri State 66. On the road against a good Mis...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while training your sea monkeys ... • NHL: Colorado's Sakic gets magic No. 600 (without help from Victor Conte). • NBA: No, the correct answer was "LeBron." All those who said Kobe do not win a cookie. Cavaliers 114, Lakers 108. • College basketball: Use The Force, Lute ... USC sweep...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while treating your sweetheart to a romantic dinner at Boston Market ... • NBA: Eighteen is enough ... Celtics beat Bucks for first win since Jan. 5. • College basketball: In the waning moments of Duke's 78-70 win over No. 21 Boston College, Dickie V actually says: "It doesn't matter...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while getting a Spanish prostate exam ... • Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show: English springer spaniel wins best in show, vows to work for world peace. • College basketball: Calling Tech support ... Hokies knock off No. 4 Tar Heels in OT. • NBA: Heat reach .500 with win over Blazers,...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while monitoring bidding on the Lisa Nowak NASA astronaut diaper ... • College basketball: Gonzaga's problems mushroom mount, as Santa Clara ends the 'Zags' 50-game home win streak. • NHL: Keith Primeau leads Flyers past Red Wings. Wait, um ... what? • NBA: Pistons beat Clippers for ...
About Last Night
What you missed while mourning the death of Hank Bauer ... • NBA: Wolves hand Celtics' 18th straight loss ... let's see Jimmy Fallon in a movie about this. • College basketball: Wholesale panic in Krzyzewskiville as Duke loses fourth straight, to Maryland, 72-60. • NHL: You cannot stop Henrik Zetter...
About Last Night...
• College Basketball: Gonzaga 60, Sant Mary's 49. You're gonna be doin' a lot of doobie-rollin' when you're livin' in a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER. • NFL: Pro Bowl. AFC 31, NFC 28. See? Nate Kaeding is clutch. • College Basketball: (1) Florida 64, (18) Kentucky 61. The Wildcats were 3-for-22 from three-p...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Cavs 103, Heat 79. LeBron with 29, Wade with 27 ... Miami's roleplaying center with the funny name had 14. • NBA: Magic 106, Spurs 104. Dwight Howard finishes the rare inbounds, buzzer-beating alley-oop ... J.J. Redick with a career high 16. • College Basketball: Lipscomb 70, Belmont 60. Come...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while putting on your pantyhose ... • NHL: Pick me last, huh? Colorado's Karlis Skrastins gets the last laugh. Avs get Thrashed, however. • College women's basketball: What is the men's basketball you speak of? Duke beats North Carolina. • NBA: Rise of the Pistons ... Detroit 93, LA ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while driving hell-bent-for-leather while wielding a mallet and wearing diapers ... • Soccer: Mexico still hasn't scored a goal on U.S. soil since 2000. We're not sure why that's significant. • College basketball: People wearing blue defeated by those people in a slightly lighter sha...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while celebrating your town's Return Carts to the Supermarket Month festivities... • NBA: It's a real Irish wake, and you're invited! Pistons hand Celtics 15th straight loss. • College basketball: Ohio State trounces Michigan? We have never heard of such a thing. • NHL: Devils beat R...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while painting a boulder to look as if there's a tunnel in it ... • NBA: A great disturbance in The Force, as if millions of tiny, assist-minded point guards screamed out at once ... • College basketball: The Longhorns fought the Law, and the Law won. Texas A&M 100, Texas 82. • NHL: ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while hanging out at a friend's house, eating Monkey Chow ... • NFL: Larry the pointer defies the odds, wins Puppy Bowl III. And, um, we think the Colts won that other game. • College basketball: Wait, Florida State won at Duke? Crazy. • NHL: Penguins lose in OT to team from that exo...
About Last Night...
• NBA: Lakers 118, Wizards 102. Kobe wanted revenge ... Kobe got revenge. • College Basketball: BYU 90, (25) UNLV 63. And today, God smiles. • NBA: Knicks 94, Magic 86. The game's leading scorers: Eddy Curry and Darko Milicic. They grow up so fast....
This Means It's About Time For Super Bowl Week To End
While I'm trying to truly appreciate my favorite spam e-mail subject line of all-time — "Experience the outbreak of firmness in your pants with Viagra Soft Tabs" — here's something equally weird....
About Last Night...
• NBA: Clippers 100, Celtics 89. Fourteenth straight loss for Boston, setting a new franchise record. Sometimes, I feel like Danny Ainge and Isiah Thomas are the same person. • College Basketball: Yale 43, Princeton 35. You know what, shot clock? You can just so straight to hell. • Track and Field: ...