out Page 232 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night...
• NBA. Timberwolves 110, Jazz 103. Kevin Garnett: 31 points, 14 boards, and 1 heartfelt plea for the Wolves to trade for Allen Iversion, which will make Kevin McHale look like a jackass if he can't pull it off. • NHL. Devils 2, Flyers 0. Marty Brodeur's shutout ties him with someone on the all-time ...

USC Wants You To Remember The Alamo
Boy. Not only are tempers still flaring over current BCS issues, but there are still some 2005 grudges that seem to be on the front burner. USC blog Boy From Troi, for instance, couldn't help taking a shot at Texas when the latter's marketing dept. sent out an e-mail promoting the arrival of their...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while applying cologne to your ... well, just see No. 10 ... • NFL: Willie Parker sets Steelers rushing mark in win over Browns in the least-TiVoed game of the season so far. • NBA: Pow! Pistons surprise Mavericks in Dallas. • NHL: Shootout! Henrik Lundqvist, you're our hero....

About Last Night ...
What you missed while finally agreeing to disconnect the feeding tube from Michigan's national title hopes ... • NHL: It seems strange to say "Oilers and Hurricanes" and "rematch of Stanley Cup finals" in the same sentence, but there you have it. • College basketball: Bobby Knight will soon be maste...

The Trojans Needed To VISUALIZE Their Success (Oh, And Tackle Better)
So why did Southern California lose to UCLA last week? Not because of a stout Bruins defense, or a somewhat green Trojans squad cracking under the pressure. Nope, they lost because coach Pete Carroll programmed his team to lose....

Afterwards, They Attacked A Guy With Their Unfinished Screenplays
You know, we have to give credit where credit is due: We have never considered UCLA Bruins fans among the most passionate and violent in the land of collegiate sports, but, apparently, we were mistaken. After the Bruins' win over USC last Saturday, a group of Bruins fans ganged up and attacked a Tro...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while watching a wiener dog chase a bear ... • NBA: "No thanks, I think I'll pass ..." Nash dishes 20 assists as Suns drop Kings. • NHL: Red Wings ruin Brett Hull Night the only way they know how. • College basketball: LSU stops Texas A&M ... and, let the Big Baby hype officially beg...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while wondering in the doctor's office if your cell plan includes "ass waiting" ... • NFL: Happy Feet ... Eagles' Jeff Garcia scrambles past Panthers. • NBA: The Streak is dead ... Mavericks cannot withstand the power of Agent Zero's wrath. • NHL: Marty Turco laughs at your feeble sc...

Perhaps She Has Chosen The Wrong Collegiate Extracurricular Activity
The M Zone takes a moment away from screaming at the heavens and cursing Allah to bring us this video, from the USC-UCLA game Saturday — way to step up, Trojans, by the way — and the famous Unable To Figure Out When Is, In Fact, The Correct Time To Cheer cheerleader. She has a tendency to strike dur...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while falling asleep in line to buy tickets to Happy Feet ... • NFL: When kickers ruled the earth ... Seahawks, Titans, Cowboys win in final seconds on long field goals. God, we hate Hobbits. • NHL: Kozlov hogs all the shots as Islanders beat Rangers 4-3. • NBA: Hawks win in the Rose...

About Last Night...
• College Football: Florida 38, Arkansas 28. The Gators are now going to need the human voters to work miracles. • College Football: West Virginia 41, Rutgers 39. And Rutgers has still never won in Morgantown. More on this in a bit... • College Basketball: (10) Duke 61, (23) Georgetown 52. Greg Paul...

About Last Night...
• College Football: Houston 34, Southern Mississippi 20. Houston wins the C-USA title, and Andre Ware walks around the Bristol campus today feeling like a bad-ass. • Tennis: Russia takes 2-1 lead in Davis Cup final. The Russians are now one win away from the Davis Cup title, and I promise not to men...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while finally making use of that University of Miami degree (sorry)... • NFL: Bengals 13, Ravens 7. That guy on the commercial who drafted T.J. Houshmandzadeh was right — even though he couldn't pronounce the name. • Horse racing: Russell Baze provides news that doesn't involve Barba...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while unpacking your horse, which finally arrived in the mail ... • College basketball: Well, that didn't last long. Ohio State now No. 1 in only two things. • NBA: Knicks win! Knicks win! Wee! • NHL: So it turns out that Tuomo Ruutu is not a character in a Rudyard Kipling novel. Our...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while inventing the Opti-Grab ... • NHL: Pronger returns to Edmonton, gets booed, Ducks win in OT. Sounds like fun to us. • College basketball: Greivis Bodily Injury ... Led by Greivis Vasquez, Maryland ends Illinois' 51-game non-conference home winning streak. • NBA: Who's Crying No...

'Sir, Perhaps We Can Resolve Our Differences With A Friendly Game Of Scrabble'
We've been following the Clemson-South Carolina football bet killing very closely, as only now are telling details being leaked to the press. Instead of going over the original story again, we'll just mention that a 42-year-old guy named Jimmy shot a 43-year-old man named Ricky in the chest becaus...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while contemplating your underwear ... • NFL: Hey, aren't the Packers supposed to have the advantage in snow? • College basketball: The Wolfpack cannot be stopped! All opponents are meat. • NHL: Kings make a mockery of the power play, still beat Devils in OT....

Could Have Been Worse ... Could Have Been Christmas Lights
And for the fourth straight year, the family volleyball portion of Ted Nugent's birthday barbeque is completely ruined ......

"The Road To Glendale Is Paved With Trojans!"
An aggressively active weekend of college football has sussed a few things out, and before you know it, we'll be fully ensconced in the morass of meaningless bowls hosted by dying dot-coms. (Our two favorite bowl games this year: The San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl and R&L Carriers New...

Yet Another Death You Can Blame On Steve Spurrier
In honor of the great Simpsons statement against seven-day waiting periods to buy weapons — "But I'm mad NOW!" — we present a distinct moment in college football history: The time a 42-year-old guy named Jimmy shot a 43-year-old man named Ricky in the chest because of a $20 bet on the Clemson-South ...