ow Page 1124 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you realize that if you drink beer this way, you're doing it wrong ... • NFL: Indianapolis at Jacksonville. That other unbeaten team isn't making nearly as much noise. [ESPN] • NHL: Boston at Montreal. This rivarly goes back to the French and Indian War. [Versus] • College football:...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you receive a visit from Condom Man... 8 p.m.: MLB: ALCS Game 7, Cleveland Indians at Boston Red Sox. [Fox] 8 p.m.: NCAA Football: Southern Miss at Marshall. We. Are. Disinterested. [ESPN] 8:15 p.m.: NFL: Pittsburgh Steelers at Denver Broncos. Look for Mike Shanahan to call a timeou...
Who Knew Large Humans Could Get Winded Easily?
• Sure enough, the Dallas-Minnesota game is the nuttiest of the 4 o'clock bunch. After Vikings' defensive tackle Kevin Williams ran back Tony Romo's fumble about 80 or 90 yards into the end zone, you could see the trainer come out and squirt a water bottle on the back of his neck, because that's exa...
Patriots. Red Sox. Boston College. You just can't stop ANY of them. As if Massachusetts sports fans didn't have enough to tout, New England Revolution midfielder Michael Parkhurst scored his first career goal ... from midfield. Here's video proof that Jesus is simply engrossed in a month-long chowde...
Put That Remote Down Right Now, Or So Help Me
Non Football TV 12 noon — Women's Volleyball: Ohio State at Wisconsin [ESPN2] 12 noon — F1 Racing: Brazilian Grand Prix [Speed] 12 noon — Movie: Monsters, Inc. [Disney] 1:00 p.m. — PBA Bowling: Dydo Japan Cup [ESPN] 1:30 p.m. — Nextel Cup: Subway 500, Martinsville, Virginia [ABC] 3:00 p.m. — AST Dew...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while coming to grips with a gay Dumbledore... • 8 p.m. — MLB: ALCS, Game 6: Cleveland Indians at Boston Red Sox. Curt Schilling was last seen asking Harvey Firestein for a Josh Beckett mask. [FOX] • 8 p.m. — College football: Michigan at Illinois. Maybe if the Illini weren't always fi...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you've stepped up the volleyball rivalry a bit ... • College football: Louisville at Connecticut. The cardinal is the most fierce of all the tiny, small-beaked birds. [ESPN] • Golf: Champions Tour, AT&T Championship, first round, San Antonio. This time I shall find a way to beat ...
Jerry Jones Can't Figure Out This Damn Spacebar
Via Touchdown.org comes one of the more amusing attempts by a professional sports franchise to master the series of tubes that is the Internets....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you enjoy your free lifetime's supply of beer ... • MLB: American League Championship Series, game 5, Boston at Cleveland. Manny is very sorry, and says he cares a great deal. [Fox] • College football: South Florida at Rutgers. The Oklahoma-Nebraska of the 21st century. [ESPN] • Col...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while trying to decide if the suckatorium is a brothel, or another name for Fenway Park ... • Golf: PGA of America, Grand Slam of Golf, final round, at Tucker's Town, Bermuda. I'll be at the cabana bar. [TNT] • NBA: Preseason, Cleveland vs. Orlando, at Shanghai. I'll be in the pirate s...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Cindy takes out the entire Brady family with a machete while they sleep ... • Boxing: Welterweights, Alfonso Gomez vs. Ben Tackie, at Carson, Calif. I opened a can of Whoopass, but it spilled all over the linoleum. [ESPN] • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 4, Boston at...
To Watch Tonight
Forget it, nothing will wipe this from your mind ... • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 3, Boston at Cleveland [Fox]; National League Championship Series, Game 4, Arizona at Colorado [TBS]. Man, is Jesus going to be peeved when the Diamondbacks come back and win this thing. • NFL: N.Y....
Time Traveler Beams In For Patriots-Cowboys Presser
Absolutely bizarre question-and-answer session at the end of the Patriots-Cowboys game last night: Apparently, it's not so difficult to get a press pass in Dallas....
Watch Jerry Rice Crank It, Watch Jerry Rice Roll ...
Watch Jerry Rice crank dat Soulja Boy, then Super Man dat ho! I have to admit, I was impressed at how quickly Rice seemed to pick up the steps. Maybe that Dancing With the Stars bull-shit was worth it after all. And hey, is Patrick Ewing Jr. a certified Soulja Boy dance instructor or something? I su...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wonder if you're weird enough to run for mayor of San Francisco ... • College football: Hawaii at San Jose State. Another Colt Brennan performance for East Coast writers to ignore. [ESPN] • MLB: American League Championship Series, Game 1, Cleveland at Boston [Fox]; National Lea...
USC Seniors Are Not Smarter Than A Fifth Grader
Chris Washington is a senior at USC with a GPA of 3.50. And even though he had several of his fraternity brothers rooting him on in the front row during the game show Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader? last night, he still seemed a bit confused. Below are a list of the questions that he got wrong:...