ow Page 1176 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your dog joins the Unification Church ... • Boxing: Super featherweights, Edner Cherry vs. Monty Meza-Clay, at Tampa [ESPN]; Welterweights, Luis Collazo vs. Ricky Hatton, at Boston. Doesn't a welterweight trump a featherweight? Hold on, which is heavier again? [HBO] • NBA Playoffs: ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your hairline forms a Maginot Line, admittedly a desperate, last resort ... • MLB: Boston at New York Yankees. Steinbrenner is scheduled to erupt every half hour until 11 p.m., so don't forget the camera. [ESPN] • NHL Playoffs: Conference semifinals, Game 4, Ottawa at Buffalo; Game ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while realizing it's incredibly difficult to pack a suitcase for a whole month... • LPGA: Takefuji Classic, first round, at Las Vegas. Don't miss The Golf Channel's newest feature, "Hanging With Hootie and Daly." Early, rejected title: "Hanging With Hootie and Jamal." [The Golf Channel...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after Chris Berman steals your date ... • MLB: Toronto at Boston. How come we don't hear a big squawk about all of these people crossing our other border time and time again? [ESPN2] • Boxing: Welterweights, Paul Williams vs. Sergio Rios, at Lemoore, Calif. What is it about small, agri...

Help Wanted In Iowa City
As Illini people, we have no love lost for the Iowa Hawkeyes, but we still have a bit of sympathy for their fans. First came that brutal loss to Northwestern State in the tournament. Another downside to that? It made it less likely that Indiana would come in and swoop the disliked Alford out of Io...

Kids Bowl The Darndest Things
Kids. They leave their clothes everywhere, they're noisy as hell, and every time you take them bowling they show you up. It's embarrassing, really, when you're trying to impress that special lady with your skills on Lane 4, and over on Lane 6, some gnome is rolling a perfect game. Michael Tang of ...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your home is lifted by cranes and moved to a better neighborhood ... • NHL: Pittsburgh at Philadelphia. Flightless Sea Fowl in peril due to global warming, 31 percent winning percentage. [OLN] • MLB: Seattle at Cleveland. We're sorry, but that grinning Indians logo could not be more...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as vultures circle your fantasy baseball team ... • Baseball: Philadelphia at Atlanta. Can Phils make it two straight? Ha ha. Just kidding. [ESPN] • NHL: Washington at Boston. With both teams out of the playoff race, record-seeking Ovechkin should get 50 or so shots, eh? [OLN] • NBA: N...

To Watch Tonight...
• MLB: Cardinals @ Cubs. If the Cards can't manage to take at least one from the Cubbies, you're likely to get a very cranky Deadspin tomorrow....

To Watch Tonight...
• MLB: A's @ Mariners: Let's try this again, shall we, Barry Zito?...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while booing Juan Encarnacion... • Boxing: Lightweights, Nate Campbell vs. Isaac Hlatshwayo, at Tampa. Yes, we must wear the mouthpiece while we watch, if it's any of your business. [ESPN2] • MLB: Atlanta at San Francisco. Come see Joe Simpson, Don Sutton and Skip Carey, the only broad...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your collection of bobble-head dolls hold a closed-door meeting concerning your collection of Barbie dolls ... • College Ice Hockey: NCAA Division I tournament, semifinals, at Milwaukee, Boston College vs. North Dakota; Maine vs. Wisconsin. Our brackets are a mess; we're just watchi...

Chicago Baseball Executives Vs. Jay Mariotti (And The People Vs. Both Of Them)
Sometimes, a story comes along with absolutely no rooting interest, no good guys at all, that you end up hoping everyone will end up in a Reservoir Dogs-esque Mexcian standoff, guns aimed at each other's heads, all pulling the trigger....

Look! It's A Big Sheet Of NFL Lists!
Ordinarily we make fun of ESPN overkill around these parts, but we won't lie to you: We have absolute no problem with the network's around-the-clock, BREAKING NEWS, live live live! coverage of the release of the complete NFL schedule. If you're not around a TV, it's really something to watch; they...

The Knicks Are Willing To Try Anything
When we interviewed Sam Walker, author of Fantasyland and columnist for The Wall Street Journal a while back, he spoke at length about the prevalence of fantasy baseball and the changing face of the game. We let the guy expound for a while, and expound he did. And at the end of the interview, when a...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your car's navigation system keeps directing you to Hooters ... • Boxing: Junior middleweights, J.C. Candelo vs. Verno Phillips, at New Orleans. Just what the city needs after all its been through. Sanctioned fisticuffs. [ESPN2] • MLB: St. Louis at Philadelphia. It's Mulder vs. Scul...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you try to figure out if your crazy wife is divorcing you, or if she isn't ... • College Women's Basketball: Division I tournament championship game, Maryland vs. Duke, at Boston. Nice friendly backyard rivalry game. No need for extra security. [ESPN] • NHL: Philadelphia at New York...

One Lousy Opening Day
You think you had a bad day yesterday? Dodgers starter Derek Lowe, inexplicably starting on Opening Day, was hammered by the Braves. And when the game was over, he had to go home and read transcripts of divorce proceedings spread all over the Internet. They were initially posted by the subscriptio...

To Watch Tonight
What to listen for as BEEP! Billy Packer BEEP! works his commentating magic BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! during the NCAA title game BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! BEEEEEEEEEPPPP! • NCAA Tournament: Championship game, Florida vs. UCLA, at Indianapolis. Your NCAA pool bracket will serve just fine as a placemat. [CBS] •...

Yeah, Steroids Will Totally Ruin Your Life
It was pointed out when Yankees Meat Loaf impersonator Jason Giambi admitted to taking steroids in front of the BALCO grand jury that steroids worked out just fine for him. A year after it was confirmed by Giambi was taking steroids, he signed a nine-digit contract with the Yankees. Ask him, in da...