ow Page 409 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Super Bowl Record Broken
If ever there were a Super Bowl to set a punting record, this was the one....

Patriots' Patrick Chung Exits Super Bowl In Air Cast After Going Down With Arm Injury
Patriots safety Patrick Chung was taken out of the Super Bowl on his own power after suffering an arm injury during a tackle attempt in the third quarter of the game....

At Least It Can Only Get Better From Here, Right?
Well that was horrendously boring....

Super Bowl Officials Couldn't Even Get The Make-Up Call On Nickell Robey-Coleman Right
You gotta hand it to NFL officials, they always find a way to screw-up even the simplest of lay-ups....

Report: The Patriots Blame Tom Brady's Quack Trainer For Gronk's Injuries
Rob Gronkowski is hobbled and washed, and Patriots brass at least in part blames Alex Guerrero, Tom Brady’s quack/body advisor. That’s according to a report by the NFL Network’s Michael Giardi:...

Soft Baby President Says Football Too Scary For Child <em></em>
Throughout the 2016 campaign and well into his administration, Donald Trump has made a point of calling the modern NFL cowardly and unwatchable for its slightly increased emphasis on concussion prevention. A sampling:...

Here's An Underwhelming Anthony Davis Trade Offer From The Lakers That The Pelicans Probably Leaked
The Lakers’ latest attempt at bringing one of the NBA’s elite talents to Los Angeles was pretty underwhelming, reportedly:...

What Time Does 'What Time Does The Super Bowl Start?' Start?
The time has come once again for the “big game,” the football-related contest that surrounds every first Sunday of February, the race to the top for the big trophy. That trophy is, of course, dominance over other grimy web publications who engage in the now-annual, semi-hallowed practice of debasing...

At The Golden Ram Barber Shop, The Rams Never Left And Can't Lose
It would be easy to miss The Golden Ram Barber Shop if you were walking by it, which is not something that you’d be doing. There are sidewalks along the stretch of Goldenwest Street in Westminster, Calif., but they are underutilized even by the standards of the greater Los Angeles metro area and dwa...

Tennis Player Takes Grunting And Yelling To Extreme; Colleagues Plead With Him To "Shut Up"<em></em>
Typically, tennis players grunt in order to hit a little harder and mess with the opponent’s perception of the ball. Maxime Cressy, meanwhile, seems to grunt in tribute to tennis great Waluigi. The world No. 335 can be heard moaning almost every time he strikes the ball—sometimes both before and dur...

Blake Griffin And Reggie Jackson Played An Unsightly Game Of Hot Potato
In hell, you can only watch Pistons games. And, overnight in hell when the Pistons games are over, they only show highlight packages from the 2004 Finals. Ah, but in the afternoon, when you think you might at least get to see highlights from around the league, hell’s NBA TV just shows one play, over...

If You've Been Waiting All These Years To See Bobby Hurley Eat Some Shit On A Basketball Court, Congratulations, Your Time Has Come
Arizona State toppled Arizona in overtime Thursday night, 95–88, breaking a streak of six straight Wildcat victories in the rivalry, stretching back to 2015. Great. Tremendous. Now let us spend several minutes together chuckling at the sight of grey-haired, 47-year-old Bobby Hurley eating a damn bas...

Georgia Businessman Disappears After Super Bowl Tickets Scam Nets Him Over $750K, Including $36K From His Own Mother
Gwinnet County, Georgia investigators are giving Ketan Shah until Sunday to give his side of a story that currently has him accused of swindling almost a dozen people out of over $750,000 in a Super Bowl ticket scam that has been going for months, according to Atlanta ABC-affiliate WSB-TV....

MLB's Luxury Tax Became A Salary Cap Because Of Decades Of Failures
Major League Baseball’s luxury tax was introduced as a compromise during collective bargaining in the late 1990s as a way to avoid implementing a salary cap, which had been one of the major points of conflict that led to the 1994 strike by the Major League Baseball Players Association. In the years ...

I, The One Person Who Still Doesn't Believe In The Patriots, Know They'll Finally Be Exposed As A Sham In Their Third Straight Super Bowl
After my previous missive, one written before the New England Patriots defeated the Kansas City Chiefs in the AFC title game and earned a trip to the Super Bowl, I had many common oafs criticize my prognostication through electronic mail and other various mediums. You lummox, these messages would st...

Roger Goodell Says He Reached Out To The Saints; Michael Thomas Says That's A Lie
NFL commissioner Roger Goodell was his usual charmless, evasive self at yesterday’s annual pre-Super Bowl press conference. He dodged all the hard questions and didn’t have anything interesting to say, but he did claim to have reached out to Saints head coach Sean Payton and a few Saints players in ...

Isn't The Super Bowl Supposed To Be Fun?
The Patriots are, in all likelihood, going to win again, and it’s going to be awful. The question now is: What is the worst possible way they could win? A 52-6 blowout? A three-TD lead for L.A. followed by yet another miraculous comeback by everyone’s least-favorite fancy dog? Aaron Donald breaking ...

These Damn Memphis Grizzlies Suffer Another Exquisitely Painful Loss
Things are getting mighty sad in Memphis. Franchise cornerstones Mike Conley and Marc Gasol are on the trading block. Their once-promising start to the season has spiraled nightmarishly into full-blown, total hell. Monday night they blew a 25-point lead at home and suffered through an agonizing last...

The Latest Ridiculous Chapter Of Enes Kanter's Knicks Feud Involves Smooching The Actual Floor
Enes Kanter has been a healthy scratch for the Knicks over their last four games, all losses. Collectively those games make up the only four outright benchings of Kanter’s seven-plus years in the NBA, and the big man hasn’t taken them sitting down. Or, yes, of course he was sitting down, but while h...