ow Page 413 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Just Try To Stop Markus Howard
The most remarkable aspect of 2019’s most remarkable college basketball player is his age: Markus Howard just turned 20 years old. The Marquette junior guard is one of the youngest players in his class, yet the 5-foot-11 Howard has spent this revelatory season torching all comers....
Get To Know The Rich Assholes Charged With Paying Millions In Bribes To Get Their Kids Into College
Parents obsessing over their kids getting into good colleges is nothing new, but committing actual crimes to make it happen would seemingly require a particular mindset and financial position. When the Justice Department announced yesterday charges and indictments in an absolutely batshit college ad...
Cleveland Browns Fans Are Thinking Super Bowl Already
The Cleveland Browns now have Odell Beckham Jr. after a trade with the New York Giants. The receiver should provide an instant jolt to Cleveland’s offense, and he’s a huge upgrade. But fans of the Browns, a team that went 7-8-1 last season, are already thinking bigger. They’re thinking Super Bowl....
On Second Thought, Breshad Perriman Would Like To Go To A Team That Might Use Him
Sometimes, it’s best to be realistic. Browns receiver Breshad Perriman, who hasn’t done much in three healthy seasons but showed a little promise in Cleveland last year, decided Tuesday afternoon that he’d be fine sticking with a team that was trending up, even if he’d have to compete with Jarvis La...
Luka Dončić Suffers Through What Must Surely Be The Worst Game Of His Career<em></em>
An hour or so before his Spurs went out and beat the Dallas Mavericks, Gregg Popovich described rookie sensation Luka Dončić as “a beautiful basketball player” and “a consummate basketball player” who “does everything.” In repayment for these lovely compliments, Dončić went out and played what he wi...
Oh Damn, The Browns Traded For Odell Beckham Jr.
A long period of cute winks and knowing nudges from sportswriters and people within the Browns organization has eventually culminated in a certified blockbuster of an NFL trade: The Cleveland Browns are getting wide receiver Odell Beckham Jr. from the New York Giants, according to multiple NFL repor...
Pissbaby James Dolan Goes On The Radio And Whines About Everything<em></em>
It’s time once again to check in on James Dolan, the infamously oversensitive and multiply delusional owner of the godawful New York Knicks. Dolan went on The Michael Kay Show today to address an incident on Saturday in which he demanded a Knicks fan be thrown out of the arena after the fan told Dol...
Football Genius Charley Casserly: The Cowboys Threw It To Dez Bryant Too Much Last Season
Here we have our favorite NFL Network goober Charley Casserly opining that Cowboys receiver Cole Beasley didn’t see enough of the ball last year because the team relied on fellow WR Dez Bryant too much. Dez Bryant did not play for the Cowboys last year....
<i>The Atlantic</i>: Let's Get Fascist So We Don't Have To Elect Fascists<em></em>
We must repel the barbarian horde, according to The Atlantic. ...
Northern Michigan University Alum Howard Schultz Wants Nothing To Do With His Alma Mater
Speed dead north on I-75 out of Detroit on dry roads and you will reach the Mackinac (pronounced Mack-i-naw) Bridge in a little over four hours. Once the largest suspension bridge in the world, it marks the end of Michigan’s lower peninsula. On the other side of the Mackinac Straights, at the narrow...
Monmouth Coach King Rice Calls Out Absurd MAAC Rules That Prevented Him From Bringing His 7-Year-Old Son To The Postgame Press Conference
The Monmouth Hawks defeated the Quinnipiac Bobcats on Saturday 98-92 to advance to the semifinals of the Metro Atlantic Athletic Conference (MAAC) tournament. But the win wasn’t the only thing on Monmouth coach King Rice’s mind after the game. Instead, he used the first half of his opening remarks t...
Notoriously Thin-Skinned James Dolan Threatens Knicks Fan In Response To Harmless Heckle
James Dolan got his feelings hurt shortly after the Knicks lost to the Kings on Saturday. As Dolan was leaving the garden with his security team, a fan in the stand had the audacity to yell, “sell the team!” When the heckle made its way to his ears, a petulant grin suddenly grew on Dolan’s face. The...
Antonio Brown On The Raiders Is Going To Be Fun
And so our long Antonio Brown nightmare is over and, because this is Antonio Brown we are speaking of, potentially just rebooting in a new place....
Barstool Sports Quietly Tries To Un-FuckJerry Itself, Deletes 60,000 Social Media Posts
Barstool Sports is seen as valuable not because it is read by many people, but because of its social media accounts, which boast millions of followers. The way those accounts operate was scrutinized this week after comedian Miel Bredouw called them out for taking one of her videos and uploading onto...
Cowboys' David Irving Says On Instagram He's Quitting The NFL, Preaches "Plants Over Pills"
After the NFL suspended David Irving for a third time, the Cowboys defensive tackle went on Instagram Thursday night to announce that he was officially fed up....
Jushin Thunder Liger, Japan's Greatest Wrestling Export, Is Set For One Last Ride
On Thursday, Jushin Thunder Liger, inarguably one of the most influential figures in the history of the global wrestling business, announced his retirement at a press conference in Japan. The 54-year-old masked wrestler, whose real name is Keichi Yamada, will travel the world on a farewell tour slat...
Antonio Brown Is Still A Steeler Because He Didn't Want To Be A Bill
If you’re just waking up: Antonio Brown is not a member of the Buffalo Bills. Wild, I know....
Jay Glazer Has An Idea For Making NFL Officiating Infinitely Dumber
Crappy NFL officiating marred the end of last season and sent the entire New Orleans metropolitan region into a massive collective freakout that may or may not continue to this very day. The current sorry state of refereeing is the culmination of years of NFL football becoming progressively harder t...
The Royal Shrovetide Football Game Is A Very Dumb, Very English, And Very Good Sport
For centuries, the citizens of Ashbourne, England have annually contested the Royal Shrovetide Football match, a sprawling, chaotic wrestling match masquerading as a soccer game. The thicket of ruddy blokes you see up top there are members of two teams: the Down’ards and the Up’ards, thus named for ...
Coy Signals About NFL Trade Rumors Don't Serve Anyone
If you are an NFL fan who has spent any amount of time looking at Twitter over the last few days, you have surely been exposed to some amount of chatter about vague rumors concerning something that the Cleveland Browns are about to do. There was probably an emoji involved. Things really heated up, t...