ow Page 415 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The College Football Coaching Carousel Is Busted
Miami Hurricanes defensive coordinator Manny Diaz had accepted the head coaching position for Temple on Dec. 13. Although the Canes still had their bowl game later in the month, Diaz was locked in for the early signing period, so as to keep his new school’s recruits and convince them that it was wor...
Lamar Jackson And The Retooled Ravens Completed Their Romp To The Playoffs
For all the sublime football the Chiefs, Rams, and Saints provided us this year, the most entertaining aspect of the season may have been the Baltimore Ravens’ transformation from fodder for the rest of AFC into the NFL’s scariest War Rig. They beat the Browns today, 26-24, to clinch a playoff berth...
Alabama Did What Alabama Does To Oklahoma
In Saturday’s first 17 minutes of game time, Alabama reeled off 28 straight points to knock down Oklahoma before anyone at the Orange Bowl had a chance to buy a second beer. That early lead proved to be the cushion Alabama needed to coast to an easy, if not entirely calm, victory in Miami. The final...
Clemson Reminded Us That Notre Dame Is A Fraud
Who didn’t see this coming? For what’s felt like the entire college football season, Notre Dame had the air of championship pretenders, despite running the table through their hand-picked schedule. In Saturday’s first College Football Playoff semi-final, Clemson put any doubt about that assumption t...
The Cotton Bowl Pregame Eagle Went Rogue All Over JerryWorld
Prior to the Cotton Bowl college football semifinal between prepared No. 3 Notre Dame and No. 2 Clemson, one intrepid bird of prey decided to take a flying tour throughout the 100,000-seat monument to Jerry Jones’ overcompensation:...
Justise Winslow Is Saving The Miami Heat's Season
On Friday night, Justise Winslow continued his fourth season renaissance, as the Miami Heat stomped on the Cleveland Cavaliers to the tune of a comfortable 118-94 win. Winslow finished the game with an eye-catching stat-line: 24 points, 11 rebounds, 7 assists, and only 2 turnovers....
Dallas Stars CEO Takes A Heaping Dump On His Team's Most Prominent Players
The Dallas Stars are currently eighth in the NHL’s Western Conference, and are narrowly holding onto the second Wild Card spot. But they’re just 4–8 over their last 12 games, and stars Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin are ranked 57th and 67th in the league in scoring, respectively. Apparently, disappoint...
Nevada Coach Jay Norvell Hath Donned The Blue Shirt Of Inspiration
In general, football head coaches are pretty much the dullest, weirdest, most wooden-brained group of men on earth, just a bunch of sweaty cosplaying doofuses blindly guessing at how to do their ridiculous job and what it even means to be good at that job, which probably isn’t really one job at all ...
Steelers Coordinator Says His Defense Will Have "A Problem" Covering A Guy Who's Been On Injured Reserve For Three Months
The Steelers are in a tough spot. Their late-season swoon has put them in the unfortunate position of needing a win from the dreaded Browns in order to have a chance at claiming the AFC North and advancing to the playoffs, when it has been literal decades since anyone has been able to rely on the Br...
The Warriors Had Themselves Another Very Normal One
The Warriors lost their second consecutive home game Thursday night, in a thrilling 110–109 overtime affair against the Portland Trail Blazers. Eventually none of this will matter, when the Warriors win the title and we all reflect on this time as a goofy period of intensely embarrassing overreactio...
Referee Meltdown In Celtics-Rockets Surprisingly Has Nothing To Do With James Harden's Footwork
The Rockets ran away from the Celtics Thursday night, in a game that was marred in both halves by some especially spotty and sensitive refereeing by the officiating crew. The officials handed out six technical fouls—three against each team—and at least a couple of them appeared to be the result of r...
Dexter Lawrence Probably Should Have Skipped The Cotton Bowl
In the span of a week, Clemson defensive tackle Dexter Lawrence had a drug test come back positive for an anabolic steroid not approved for human use or consumption in the U.S., or in any other country, vehemently denied in front of reporters that he knowingly put anything illegal into his body, and...
Let Us Enjoy A Nightmarishly On-Brand Overtime Period Between The Lowly Suns And The Dreary Magic
The Suns and Magic played an overtime game Wednesday night. Of course you didn’t notice, because you—whoever you are, even if you are literally the head coach of one of these two teams—had something to do that was much better than watching two teams with a combined 22–44 record this season, and a wh...
Won't Someone Please Think Of Dana White?
UFC president Dana White was a bit of a shithead towards a reporter on Thursday during the press conference for the recently-relocated UFC 232. To make things easier for Jon Jones to participate in the headlining fight after an “atypical” drug test, the pay-per-view event was move from Las Vegas to ...
Mamma Mia, That's A Spicy Own Goal!
Italian soccer found itself beset by the twin scourges of violence and racism yesterday, which is maybe fortunate for Ascoli goalkeeper Filippo Perucchini, since his humiliating own goal in a Serie B match against Palermo today would’ve definitely been front-page news in less violent and racist time...
Temple Royally Fucked Up This Fake Punt
The Temple Owls were once beating the Duke Blue Devils by 13 points in their bowl game. It looked like the Owls might get a win for their perpetually fired-up interim coach, Ed Foley....
All The Times Lauren McCluskey Asked For Help Before She Was Murdered<em></em>
University of Utah track and field athlete Lauren McCluskey was fatally shot earlier this year by a man she had recently dumped after she found out he had lied to her about his name, age, and criminal record. The man, Melvin Rowland, 37, died by suicide hours later. But for weeks before her Oct. 22 ...
A Non-Exhaustive List Of Batshit Stuff That Happened During The Cal-TCU Bowl Game<em></em>
My beloved idiot sons, the California Golden Bears football team, somehow lost the worst college football game of the season last night to TCU, a 10-7 stinker that featured the worst interception you’ll see throughout bowl season, and also the second-worst. If those two weren’t enough for you, don’t...
This Is Almost Certainly The Worst Double-Pass Play You Will Ever See
Wednesday night’s excruciating bowl game between Cal and TCU featured 17 total points and nine combined interceptions, and needed an overtime field goal for the nominal winner to slink out of there with somehow even less dignity than their vanquished foe. Of those nine interceptions, believe it or n...
The Sad, Short Story Of The First Responder Bowl
We all had this day circled on our calendars, because this is the day that Boston College and Boise State were set to meet in the big game—the one we’ve all been waiting for, the one that kept us awake last night: the First Responder Bowl. I regret to inform you that the First Responder Bowl has bee...