ow Page 422 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Profusely Sweaty Michael Irvin Had To Be Wiped Down While Screaming About The Cowboys On <i>First Take</i><em></em>
With the Cowboys playing the Titans tonight, former Dallas receiver and current TV loudmouth Michael Irvin was on First Take this morning, and goddamn, was he sweaty. Despite the best efforts of the production crew, he continued to glisten throughout the segment....
The Future Of Baseball Won't Look The Way You Expect
Back in 2017, the American League’s top Most Valuable Player candidates were New York’s Aaron Judge and Houston’s José Altuve. Judge, at 6-foot-7 and 280-some pounds and with his ungodly exit velocities and tape-measure home runs, was widely hailed as THE FUTURE OF BASEBALL. In the future, all power...
Bart Scott Rips Todd Bowles As Jets Combust
Nothing sours a locker room like a stout defense coming to resent the offense for being unable to score. It happened in Seattle, it happened in Jacksonville, and it is happening on the Jets. Following an unwatchable 13-6 loss to the Dolphins, left tackle Kelvin Beachum, unprompted, kicked off his po...
Michael Thomas’s Cell Phone Celebration Was Cool, No Matter What The Announcers Said
It was a great game. The Saints scored 35 first-half points, with Drew Brees throwing for three scores. Jared Goff led the Rams all the way back from a 21-point deficit to tie things up in the fourth. Then, late in the fourth quarter, the Saints had the ball in their own territory leading by just th...
Michael Thomas Pays Homage To Joe Horn With Flip Phone Touchdown Celebration
Michael Thomas caught a 72-yard touchdown to give the Saints a double-digit lead with under four minutes to play against the undefeated Los Angeles Rams. But things got better for New Orleans: Thomas celebrated the touchdown by recreating the Joe Horn touchdown cell phone celebration from 2003. A to...
This Malcolm Brown Touchdown Catch Is An Unreal Feat Of Body Control
This twinkle-toed touchdown reception by Rams running back Malcolm Brown, in which he somehow manages to dodge two onrushing Saints defenders and keep his feet inbounds despite having to do it all with just a sliver of grass between him, them, and the sideline, is just incredible....
Clemson Scores Fat Guy Touchdown For Second Consecutive Week
Louisville’s football program is in utter disarray as their scumbag head coach continues to torpedo the team into nationally-televised embarrassments like today’s 77-16 loss to Clemson. But none of that matters because CLEMSON SCORED ANOTHER FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN, BABY!...
Crown Jewel, WWE's Return To Saudi Arabia, Had Less Propaganda But More Irony<em></em>
Once the call was made to go on with WWE Crown Jewel, the second event of WWE’s 10-year contract with Saudi Arabia, one question loomed larger than any other going: What would this thing look like? The promotion’s first Saudi show, April’s Greatest Royal Rumble, was unvarnished pro-Saudi propaganda,...
DC United's Nick DeLeon Scores Clutch Game-Tying Goal, Then Chokes Away Decisive Penalty Kick
Well this was all very dramatic. DC United were down 2–1 in the 116th minute of Thursday night’s knockout round match against Columbus Crew, until Nick DeLeon ripped home a clutch equalizer from the edge of the box off a blown clearance....
Hue Jackson: If Only The Browns Had Listened More To Hue Jackson
Hue Jackson finished his tenure as head coach of the Cleveland Browns with a record of three wins, 36 losses, and one tie. In hindsight, it’s remarkable that Jackson was given a second year in charge after starting the 2016 season 0–14 and finishing 1–15; it’s even more incredible that he was given ...
Dr. Z's Lesser-Known Book Was One Of The Truest Things About Football Ever Written<em></em>
Longtime football writer Paul Zimmerman, better known as Dr. Z, died today at age 86, his former colleague Peter King announced. Zimmerman hadn’t written for years due to a series of strokes, but for a time he was one of the best football writers out there and worth remembering today. Here’s what I ...
Gregg Williams Is Really Gonna Stick With This "Everyone Wanted To Hire Me" Bit, Huh
Browns defensive coordinator and interim head coach Gregg Williams, who preserved his job and earned a promotion simply by being the least bad of Cleveland’s three senior coaches, wants you to know he doesn’t have to be here. Other teams have been falling over themselves to hire Gregg Williams, best...
Carlos Beltran And His Family Dressed Up As Carlos Beltren
Carlos Beltran, his wife Jessica, and his three kids pulled off a stellar group costume for Halloween this year by going as ... Carlos Beltran on all his former baseball teams. Even the cat, dog, and fish participated....
Former Player Says "Insane" Prep School Coach Mike Woodbury Used To Call Teenage Female Players "Sperm Banks"
Following the publication of an audio recording in which prep school basketball coach Mike Woodbury said, “I’m gonna fuck you in your ass” to one of his former players, other people who played for Woodbury in the past are coming forward with their own stories of his abusive behavior....
Who Needs Jimmy Butler When You've Got Uhh Derrick Rose
The Timberwolves held Jimmy Butler out of their Halloween home game against the Utah Jazz, for honestly who knows what reason. Shams says it’s part of “a six-week-long process aimed at getting the All-Star out of Minnesota.” Woj says it was for rest. Either way, the Jazz are tough customers, and sit...
A Truly Brilliant Solution To The Problem Of People Wearing Non-Spooky Halloween Costumes
Recently my wife told me I would enjoy meeting a friend of hers, who she described as “a big Halloween person.” When I asked what made this friend a big Halloween person, she told me this friend made her own superhero Halloween costume from scratch this year. And I, a punctilious dickweed, skipped r...
Prep School Coach Doesn't Regret Saying "I'm Gonna Fuck You In Your Ass" To Player He Called "Retarded"
An audio recording began making its way around the internet yesterday, which purported to be a conversation between Mike Woodbury, who runs a private school called Nation Christian Academy in Florida, and a former basketball player at the school named Marvens Petion....
Coach Who Always Looks Like A Pile Of Dirty Laundry Scolds Reporter For Slouching
Lions head coach Matt Patricia got testy with a reporter in today’s presser after being asked a question about how trading Golden Tate made the franchise better. The inquiry apparently didn’t bug him so much as the posture of the person asking it....
The Browns Are Being The Browns
Happy Halloween from Emergency Football Show Weekly! This week Dom and I discuss the Browns’ coaching changes, why morning NFL games are so great (Dom—and West Coasters—may disagree), Michael Dickson’s fourth-down run and Todd Gurley’s decision to go down before scoring a touchdown. Enjoy!...