ow Page 428 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
The Baker Mayfield Era Is (Almost) Officially Upon Us
After leading the Browns to an incredible second-half comeback on Thursday, and unleashing Bud Light onto the hoards of Cleveland fans who have been desperately waiting almost two years for a win, Baker Mayfield will be the new starting quarterback in Cleveland. Hue Jackson is expected to make the d...
Report: Rob Gronkowski Threatened To Retire Rather Than Play For The Lions
Adam Schefter’s Sunday-morning scoop this week is about a trade that almost went down back in April. Normally, reports on trades that didn’t actually happen are far less juicy than ones that have happened or might in the future. But Schefter’s report—which names a previously unknown team from an Ian...
At Least One Minnesota Timberwolves Star Doesn't Have A Problem With Commitment
While they’re still in the midst of figuring out what to do with malcontented soon-to-be free agent Jimmy Butler, the Minnesota Timberwolves at least made a bit of good news this weekend, locking up their long-term franchise guy for the foreseeable future. Karl-Anthony Towns, a man who has been indi...
And Now Your Finest Quitting Stories<em></em>
I have never left a job in a huff. I have never stormed out. I have never flipped my boss the double bird. I have never quit a job with proud disregard for the potential consequences. The closest I ever came to such a fever dream was when I quit a legal ad firm after just three weeks on the job, bec...
Add "Not Getting Ejected" To List Of Bryce Harper's Missed Goals For 2018
It’s been a shit year for Bryce Harper, measured against expectations, and even aside from the Nationals being an even bigger disappointment than usual. He came on in the second half, but he’s still gonna finish the year batting around or below .250, and with a growing reputation as a guy who can be...
Browns ... Win?
Well that was exhilarating. Baker Mayfield came into Thursday night’s game with the Browns down 14–0 and their offense doing just nothing, and he played a brilliant half of football to bring his team back, and the Browns secured their first win since Christmas Eve 2016. ...
Baker Mayfield Is Playing Like He's Not A Browns Quarterback
Tyrod Taylor was pulled late in the second quarter and ruled out for the second half after suffering a concussion against the Jets Thursday night. He was having a shitty game, completing just four of 14 passes for 19 yards, and leading the Browns to just four first downs and zero points. Taylor bein...
Browns Fan Saves Possum From Having To Watch The Rest Of Thursday Night Football<em></em>
A poor, foolish possum somehow made its way into the stands at Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game, in Cleveland. Maybe he’s a big Baker Mayfield fan! It’s unlikely the little fellow had a valid ticket—as such, he was captured and put into a box by a jersey-clad gentleman who seems really admirably co...
Isaiah Crowell Has A Special Gift For Browns Fans
Former Brown Isaiah Crowell scored a couple touchdowns in the first half of Thursday night’s Jets-Browns game. On the second of these Crowell used his touchdown celebration to do something very rude to the football, before throwing it into the end zone stands, to be caught by Browns fans:...
Oakland A's Fans Love Their Team, But Don't Trust Its Owners
Sixteen games into the Oakland A’s historic 20-game win streak back in 2002, Mike Davie realized how cheap team ownership truly was....
"League Sources" Say Karl-Anthony Towns Is A Donkey
All the reporting about the souring of the relationship between Jimmy Butler and the Timberwolves points to fit issues between Butler, Karl-Anthony Towns, and Andrew Wiggins. Butler’s “honest conversations” with Wolves brass led in short order to a trade request, and a list of preferred trade partne...
Jay Novacek's Kid Says He Suffered Severe Brain Damage From Fraternity Hazing Incident At Oklahoma
Football fans of a certain age will remember Jay Novacek as the infuriatingly dependable third-down target of Troy Aikman on those dominant Cowboys teams of the mid-90s. Novacek retired from football in 1997. His son, Blake Novacek, was also pursuing a career in sports—sports broadcasting, to be exa...
Jose Abreu's Had A Run Of Bad Luck With His Groin Area
White Sox first baseman José Abreu will miss his team’s upcoming series with the Indians, as he was hospitalized and treated for “an ingrown hair infection in his right thigh.” That’s disconcerting and gross enough on its own, but when combined with the fact that Abreu just underwent surgery for a “...
Report: Finally, A Reason To Watch The Super Bowl!
Variety and Us Weekly report that adult contemporary group Maroon 5 will be the halftime performers at February’s Super Bowl LIII (pronounced “leeeeeee”) in Atlanta, probably because Imagine Dragons was already booked as the NHL’s in-house band....
Orioles Rookie's First Career Base Hit Turns Into Ridiculous Clown Show<em></em>
The Orioles and Blue Jays are currently playing a series that has no significance whatsoever to the greater baseball universe. The only reason to have these games is so such-and-such youngster can get his first taste of life in the majors. In this case the youngster is Orioles rookie outfielder DJ S...
Philly's Once Ambitious General Manager Search Finally Lands On, Of All People, Elton Brand
Not too long ago the 76ers were courting Daryl Morey to replace disgraced former general manager Bryan Colangelo, in a sign of the organization’s lofty ambitions for the next chapter of Sixers basketball. By that same token, not too long ago the Sixers were hoping to court LeBron James and Paul Geor...
This 84-Shot Rally At The Davis Cup Is Tennis Hell
Over the years and across dozens of blogs, Deadspin has tried to make a case for watching and enjoying tennis, the sport being played in last weekend’s Davis Cup rubber between France’s Nicolas Mahut and Spain’s Marcel Granollers....
The <i>New Yorker</i> Looks To A Stupid Man To Answer An Even Stupider Question
Sports and politics cannot be separated. Sports expresses, iterates, and interacts with politics at basically every point of their intersection. Even apart from the myriad ways sports, specifically, contain and are shaped by politics, as parts of what we’re still obliged to call a society even as it...