ow Page 431 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Something's Eating Karl-Anthony Towns
Something isn’t quite right in Minnesota, and it cannot be purely explained by Jimmy Butler’s abject buttitude. Right before the season started, Karl-Anthony Towns said, “This momentum we’re riding right now, this wave we’re riding, it’s not good. It’s not good at all.” When asked why the Wolves had...
Reports: The Chicago White Sox Exist
Given how easy it is for even their fans to forget about the Chicago White Sox’s existence, the most notable thing about baseball’s ongoing annual general manager meetings has probably been that several reporters for national outlets have written about the team, whose most recent campaign was highli...
Las Vegas Sportscaster Arrested For Allegedly Masturbating At Bar, Says He Was Scratching A Rash
KSNV News 3 sportscaster Randy Howe was arrested Tuesday morning for allegedly masturbating at an unnamed bar in North Las Vegas, according to a police report obtained by the Las Vegas Sun. Police have charged him with indecent exposure and open gross lewdness....
The Dallas Cowboys Are Still A Mess
The Dallas Cowboys added wide receiver Amari Cooper in a trade with the Oakland Raiders during their bye week. It helped! Cooper was the Cowboys’ leading receiver, catching 5 passes for 58 yards and a score on Monday night. It didn’t help the Cowboys win, of course: They lost at home to the Tennesse...
Let's Remember The NFL's Greatest Forgotten Coaching Rant
Behind the scenes, whenever he might have been shooting the shit or just taking questions from reporters when there weren’t cameras around, Jerry Burns had a penchant for weaving curse words into whatever he was saying. ...
Tim Tebow, Seated At The Right Hand Of His Former Agent And Current Mets GM, Will Rise Again To Triple-A
New York Mets minor leaguer Tim Tebow will ascend to Triple-A baseball in Syracuse in 2019, according to the new Mets GM Brodie Van Wagenen, who was also Tebow’s agent up until last week when he took the Mets job, the Associated Press reports....
Raheem Sterling Wins A Penalty By Tripping Over Himself
In today’s match against Shakhtar Donetsk, Manchester City star Raheem Sterling did something incredibly embarrassing when he blew a very good scoring opportunity by tripping over his own feet. Luckily for him, the referee followed that blunder with an even more monumental failure of his own when he...
This Dwight Howard Shot Was A Crime Against Basketball
The pestilential Wizards lost last night, again, bringing their record this season to a pitiful 2-8. Terminally unfunny center Dwight Howard—whose teammates universally cannot stand him—is back from a butt injury, and the Wizards are in such a sorry state of internecine bickering that Howard is the ...
Dez Bryant Teaches Us A Very Valuable Lesson About Never Settling For The Browns
Dez Bryant has finally found a team that’ll give him what he wants, and it’s a pretty good team, too. The New Orleans Saints have agreed to sign the former Cowboys receiver to a one-year deal for the rest of the season....
Was Anyone Even <i>Trying</i> To Stop Neal Pionk On This Goal?
This goal looks straight out of a movie. In a 4-on-4 with under three minutes to go in a tie game, a little-known defenseman—in this case New York Rangers kid Neal Pionk—takes the puck from behind his own net and just ... continues with it until he scores the game-winner. It shouldn’t be possible in...
Blackhawks Fire Joel Quenneville, For Some Reason
My headline is slightly glib, because Joel Quenneville—the second-winningest coach in NHL history—was fired for the same reason every coach is fired: the Blackhawks just aren’t very good. But the thing is, it’s really not Quenneville’s fault at all....
Kevin Byard Did T.O. Proud With His Celebration On The Cowboys' Star
Millennials live in a golden age of nostalgia. After our entire conscious lifetimes were spent standing idly by as boomers were pandered to with things from their childhood, finally it is our turn to be pandered to! The music we liked is sampled and aped. The fashion is back in. Entire media conglo...
Titans Trouble My Brain With Amazing Sleight Of Hand Touchdown
The Titans scored an uncommonly slick and cool touchdown in the third quarter of Monday night’s game against the Cowboys. On second and two from the Cowboys seven-yard line, Marcus Mariota took a shotgun snap and handed it to Dion Lewis, who was immediately slammed to the turf by DeMarcus Lawrence f...
Markelle Fultz Shooting Form Update: Shoulder Still Crab Meat?
The Sixers could sure use some shooting. In Sunday’s jarringly one-sided loss to the Brooklyn Nets, Sixers starters combined to produce zero made three-pointers on just six total attempts. On the season, Philadelphia’s starting lineup has attempted just 18 total three-pointers in 53 minutes of cour...
Profusely Sweaty Michael Irvin Had To Be Wiped Down While Screaming About The Cowboys On <i>First Take</i><em></em>
With the Cowboys playing the Titans tonight, former Dallas receiver and current TV loudmouth Michael Irvin was on First Take this morning, and goddamn, was he sweaty. Despite the best efforts of the production crew, he continued to glisten throughout the segment....
The Future Of Baseball Won't Look The Way You Expect
Back in 2017, the American League’s top Most Valuable Player candidates were New York’s Aaron Judge and Houston’s José Altuve. Judge, at 6-foot-7 and 280-some pounds and with his ungodly exit velocities and tape-measure home runs, was widely hailed as THE FUTURE OF BASEBALL. In the future, all power...
Bart Scott Rips Todd Bowles As Jets Combust
Nothing sours a locker room like a stout defense coming to resent the offense for being unable to score. It happened in Seattle, it happened in Jacksonville, and it is happening on the Jets. Following an unwatchable 13-6 loss to the Dolphins, left tackle Kelvin Beachum, unprompted, kicked off his po...
Michael Thomas’s Cell Phone Celebration Was Cool, No Matter What The Announcers Said
It was a great game. The Saints scored 35 first-half points, with Drew Brees throwing for three scores. Jared Goff led the Rams all the way back from a 21-point deficit to tie things up in the fourth. Then, late in the fourth quarter, the Saints had the ball in their own territory leading by just th...
Michael Thomas Pays Homage To Joe Horn With Flip Phone Touchdown Celebration
Michael Thomas caught a 72-yard touchdown to give the Saints a double-digit lead with under four minutes to play against the undefeated Los Angeles Rams. But things got better for New Orleans: Thomas celebrated the touchdown by recreating the Joe Horn touchdown cell phone celebration from 2003. A to...