ow Page 446 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Most Embarrassing NFL Team Now Has Most Embarrassing Slogan
It’s never good to be a sports franchise that is so synonymous with failure that the prospect of brighter days ahead seems all but unimaginable. That ship sailed and sunk for the Cleveland Browns a long time ago, but now they seem to be attempting to reach an even more shameful depth. It’s one thing...
After Years Of Disarray, Impact Wrestling Is Finally Getting It Together
If you’ve read about Impact Wrestling before in this space, you mostly haven’t read anything flattering. The wrestling promotion, which launched with weekly pay-per-view events in 2002 as TNA and is still widely known colloquially by that acronym—Total Nonstop Action, if you were wondering—has long...
Andrelton Simmons Lucked Into A Little League Homer Because He Was Playing The White Sox
Andrelton Simmons, the best defensive shortstop in the Majors since he made his debut in 2012, has had a career year at the plate this season, with a slashline of .305/.362/.427 that is on pace to shatter his previous career-highs. On Thursday against the White Sox, he bumped up his slugging percent...
CBS Sports Columnist Questions Society And Invokes Tebow After Bryce Love Skips Media Day For Class
Stanford running back and last season’s Heisman runner-up Bryce Love didn’t make it to Pac-12 Media Day this week. The returning senior had a perfectly valid reason why he, as a “student-athlete,” couldn’t attend....
Jon Heyman's Fingers Are Interfering With His MLB Scoops<em></em>
Fancred baseball scoopster Jon Heyman was either overwhelmed by the Brewers’ trade for reliever Joakim Soria, or his fingers were covered in Horsey sauce, because he had a lot of trouble reporting out the transaction....
The Passion Of Dr. Narwhals Mating
With Drew still loose in the rustic wilds of Maine—we have received credible and deeply disturbing reports of him scampering up scenic mountains and devouring crustacean-centric meals in ways that horrified bystanders—the Deadcast casts its gaze back upon past glory this week. There’s a lot of glory...
I Hope People Never Stop Asking Bill Belichick About Malcolm Butler
The last time we saw the New England Patriots in a meaningful football game, their defense was getting 538 yards dropped on them by the Philadelphia Eagles in a Super Bowl loss. This all happened while starting cornerback Malcolm Butler, who had played nearly 98 percent of the defensive snaps in the...
Trea Turner Bunts, Just Gives Up
The Nationals are an underachieving team that is reaching that point in the season when everyone starts to get really pissy about all the underachieving. Over the weekend, Stephen Strasburg and Max Scherzer got into a dugout tiff after Strasburg got knocked around by the Braves. On Monday night, Tre...
Bill Simmons Gets New Contract At HBO
Nearly three years to the day since since HBO first announced it was hiring Bill Simmons, the network has revealed its decision to keep the Sports Guy on board for another few years....
Jake Bauers Scores From Second On Passed Ball Thanks To Just The Sleepiest Yankees Defensive Effort
Jake Bauers socked a three-run dinger in the fifth inning tonight against the Yankees. That’s cool. It’s cool to sock dingers, especially against the abominable Yankees. But Bauers’s best highlight from Monday night came in the bottom of the first inning, when he scored from second base on a passed ...
Iowa Football Player Arrested For Foolishly Thinking The Police Want Drunk Students To Get Home Safely<em></em>
Iowa Hawkeyes defensive lineman Brady Reiff was arrested Saturday morning after thinking that a police car was a cab. Yeah right, like campus police would ever help a student who had too much to drink!...
How Is This Shit Legal
This past spring, Michael Ferro resigned as chairman of publicly traded media-looting hell-company Tronc, Inc., just ahead of the publication of sexual harassment allegations against him. As a parting gift, Tronc paid him $15 million, voluntarily bundling up the total value of a three-year consultin...
How I Became A Wizard, By Dwight Howard, Age 7
Last year, the Washington Wizards underperformed both out of sheer ingrained habit and because some of the most important people on the team just absolutely fucking hated some of the other most important people on the team. On Monday, the team introduced Dwight Howard, the veteran big man that the t...
Dirks Nowitzki, Ranked
Alex Kennedy of HoopsHype has posted some excellent videos that track the evolution of specific player avatars in NBA video games over the last two decades. By far the most cursed sequence is Dirk Nowitzki’s. If you were expecting a steady, linear progression from “Not Dirk” to “Okay that’s Dirk” as...
Josh Gordon Will Miss The Start Of Training Camp For Unclear Reasons
Browns wide receiver Josh Gordon, who has spent the majority of his NFL career suspended for violating the league’s substance abuse policy, looked all set to start the 2018 season with a clean slate. This morning, however, he released this worrisome statement indicating that he will not be with the ...
Masa Saito Was A Great Wrestler And Half Of Pro Wrestling's Most Famous Arrest
Masanori “Masa” Saito, known as Mr. Saito to a generation of American wrestling fans, passed away at the age of 76 last weekend following a long struggle with Parkinson’s disease. An Olympic freestyle wrestler in 1964, Saito was a legendarily hard man and among the most universally respected people ...
Hernan Perez Plunked A Batter With The Softest Pitch You'll Ever See
The Brewers lost to the Dodgers 11-2 in nine innings on Sunday, but they stopped trying to win in the seventh, when utility man Hernan Perez went to the mound to throw two innings of relief. Perez, one of two Milwaukee position players to try their luck at hurling in the game, acquitted himself nice...
If When You Do What Is Right And Suffer For It You Patiently Endure It, This Finds Favor With God; Tim Tebow Lands On Disabled List
Future Mets savior—and possible capital-S Savior—Tim Tebow landed on the disabled list Saturday after suffering a hand injury earlier in the week. Per a WBNG report:...
Giants Co-Owner Burns Donald Trump, Says Giants Players Will Not Be Punished For Any Anthem Protests
Giants co-owner Steve Tisch told The Hollywood Reporter this week that Giants players who demonstrate against police brutality and systemic racism during pregame national anthem ceremonies will not be punished by the organization, whatever ultimately happens to the NFL’s increasingly dumb-looking an...