ow Page 453 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
I Have A Very Good Idea That Will Fix Everything Wrong With American Pro Sports
Because we are not fools, we can all agree that there are two major problems currently plaguing, to various degrees, the four major sports leagues in North America: tanking and games that start way too damn late. I can fix this....
Willson Contreras Is On An Unholy Tear
Cubs catcher Willson Contreras came into Wednesday’s game against the Marlins stuck in a bit of a slump, having gone 4-for-35 over his previous nine appearances. Contreras, who smacked 21 dingers in 2017, tallied just one in April, and hadn’t had a multi-hit game since April 10. The nine-game slump ...
Brett Brown: 76ers "Need Help" To Win A Championship
However disappointed the Sixers and their fans may feel about a five-game series loss to the depleted Celtics, their season was an enormous success. They won a playoff series, and were the favorites to win another, and they certainly look closer to championship contention than all but maybe two or t...
If The Last Week Is Any Indication, The XFL Revival Is Somehow Still Alive
It looked grim for Vince McMahon’s notional reboot of the XFL when Charlie Ebersol announced his Alliance of American Football in March, given that Ebersol’s league featured more fully-realized versions of McMahon’s ideas and an earlier launch date. But, surprisingly and perhaps inexplicably, rumors...
Dopey Chicago Sports Columnist Apologizes For Nonsensical Roquan Smith Take
Roquan Smith, whose playbook was among the items stolen from his car last weekend, was the subject of Chicago Tribune grouch Steve Rosenbloom’s column this week, and boy did Rosenbloom produce a doozy....
Darren Rovell Tries To Explain Economics To Marvin Jones, Gets Dunked On
“Actually,” Darren Rovell probably smirked as he adjusted his bowtie before lecturing a celebratory Marvin Jones, who had just tweeted about a bakery franchise he is opening with his wife, “it’s more complicated than you think.”...
The Last Great Territorial Pro Wrestling Moment Happened 30 Years Ago Today
It was 30 years ago this Wednesday that the end of regional professional wrestling began. At the very least, it went out with a bang....
The Athletic Has Inflicted<em></em> Rick Reilly Upon You
If you are subscriber to The Athletic, I have some bad news for you:...
Down With Decorative Pillows!
Hello and welcome to the Funbag! The last time I filled in for Drew, I took over the sex and fantasy football mailbag that he started for Kissing Suzy Kolber, a poorly named blog of a bygone era. I am presently unemployed, so if Drew turns up dead and I’m writing this column again next week, I didn’...
This Week's All-Athlete<i> Dancing With The Stars </i>Was All Glitter And Madness
The dresses: glittery. The celebrities: moderately recognizable. The event: you definitely heard someone mention it once. Last night, and technically all of yesterday if you really think about it, was Monday, the one day of the week where a handful of dubious notables along with actual talent hired ...
OK, Roenick, That's Enough<em></em>
For exclusive videos, pictures, and more, like us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter and Instagram. Send us your confidential tips at [email protected], call our confidential tips hotline at (347) 746-8471, contact our writers directly, or use our anonymous SecureDrop system....
Gorkys Hernandez Covers Himself In Shame While Trying To Rob A Homer<em></em>
The Phillies are wrecking the Giants tonight, but not even a double-digit run differential can inflict as much embarrassment on one player as Carlos Santana’s three-run dong did to San Francisco center fielder Gorkys Hernandez. When Santana blasted one to the deepest part of the ballpark, Hernandez ...
White Sox Pitcher Danny Farquhar Is Home From The Hospital<em></em>
Over two weeks after he collapsed in the dugout during a game, White Sox relief pitcher Danny Farquhar has been discharged from the hospital and returned home, according to a statement released by the team today. Farquhar had suffered a brain hemorrhage from a ruptured aneurysm on April 20, after h...
Hafþór Björnsson Is Officially The World's Strongest Man
Hafþór Björnsson, who portrays Gregor Clegane on Game of Thrones, was the world’s second strongest man last year—not without controversy—but in this year’s competition in Manila, he finally reached the top of the mountain....
Bay Area TV Reporter Resigns After Stealing Warriors Employee's Jacket
Mike Shumann, a longtime sportscaster for KGO-TV in San Francisco, has announced his resignation after being caught on camera last month taking a jacket that belonged to the Golden State Warriors’ director of team security....
Michael Buffer Announces Soccer Lineup While Being Soaked By A Sprinkler
It’s never really a bad idea to get famous boxing announcer Michael Buffer to show up at a sporting event and get people ready to rumble. This is mostly because he’ll always do the job well—he’s had plenty of practice—even when unforeseen obstacles arise. Just ask the fans in attendance at Sunday’s ...
Pedro Florimon Ruins The Nationals With Slick Glove Fake-Out
Phillies starter Vince Velasquez and four relievers held a banged-up and disappointing Nationals lineup to just two hits in Saturday’s 3-1 Phillies victory. The Nats engineered eight walks in the game, but left eight runners on base and were 0-3 with runners in scoring position. They did, however, p...
Every Force In The Universe Conspires To Cruelly Thwart Golfer's Eagle Approach Shot
You are not going to do a whole lot of mourning for a golfer because he narrowly missed an eagle—first of all it’s golf, and second of all, you tap in for birdie a shot later and that’s about the best anyone can realistically hope for in this awful world. But this, man, this shot, from Peter Malnati...
MMA Fighter's Grody Broken Finger Is Here To Spoil Your Appetite, Forever
Julia Avila broke her finger early in her bout with Marciea Allen at Friday’s Invicta FC 29. Avila was parrying kicks from Allen when one of the kicks did something truly horrifying to a finger on Avila’s left hand....
Mets Finally, Fully Break Up With Matt Harvey
Baseball is difficult and contingent and deeply cruel under the best of circumstances, and playing baseball for the New York Mets is not the best of circumstances. It is a big-league job and pays commensurately, and when things are going well it comes with a gaudy suite of perks and sweeteners, but ...