ow Page 456 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Cavs Are Getting Pretty Much Everyone The Fuck Out Of Here<em></em>
Not only have the Cavaliers given Isaiah Thomas and Channing Frye the boot today, but they’re now trading four more players. (Yes, “the Cavaliers” can reasonably be interpreted as “LeBron James.”) Adios to Jae Crowder, Derrick Rose, Iman Shumpert, and Dwyane Wade. There goes a third of the roster....

30 Years Ago, WWE Drew Their Biggest TV Audience Ever For "The Main Event"
On Feb. 5, 1988, 30 years ago this week, professional wrestling returned to prime time broadcast network television after a decades-long absence. WWE had been running semi-monthly Saturday Night’s Main Event specials in the Saturday Night Live time slot on NBC for almost three years before it got th...

Eagles Fans Are Not Disappointing At Today's Parade
The Eagles’ Super Bowl parade is currently underway, and center Jason Kelce got things started on the right note. Philly fans have since livened up the festivities in their particular way....

Jason Kelce Is Having A Great Time At The Eagles’ Super Bowl Parade<em></em>
The Philadelphia Eagles’ Super Bowl parade is today. Jason Kelce—dressed as a Mummer—is already having a good time, as you can see from this clip from Action News....

Alex Burrows Suspended 10 Games For Kneeing Taylor Hall In The Head
Ottawa Senators forward/pest/piece of crap Alexandre Burrows has been suspended for 10 games by the NHL’s Department of Player Safety, and 10 games still feels like he got off kind of easily....

Future Georgetown Hoya Mac McClung Does The Coolest Dunks
Georgetown fizzled out again Tuesday night, losing 73-69 to Providence. It was the team’s ninth loss in Big East play and the Hoyas’ fourth loss this season in which they had led with under four minutes to go. Patrick Ewing kindly took the blame and said he “got out-coached,” which may be true but d...

Witness: Vince McMahon Stared Down Groping Accuser For 45 Minutes From His Car
A week and a half ago, The Daily Beast ran an article, missed by some because it dropped on a Friday evening, reporting on the largely forgotten 2006 groping allegations against Vince McMahon. What made the case newsworthy again was that while McMahon was never charged with assaulting the Florida ...

A Tearful Dustin Brown Retires From Match After Back Injury
Germany’s Dustin Brown, the wackiest motherfucker in tennis, was only three points away from winning his first-round match at Montpellier against Nicolas Mahut when a crafty one-handed, backhand passing shot appeared to cause his back to seize up. He took a few steps and then collapsed. Mahut didn’t...

American Defender Matt Miazga Fined For Honking Opponent's Dick
Not long ago, exciting young American center back Matt Miazga was out in England effectively ending the Chelsea careers of legendary players John Terry and Radamel Falcao. The defender is now in the Netherlands honing his craft with Vitesse on loan from Chelsea, and he’s still threatening to end car...

The Only Thing That Works About The NFL Is Football
My friend tackled Shaun Alexander. Not recently, I should note. This was years ago, and years before the brief period during which Alexander was the best running back on earth. Alexander led the league in rushing in 2005 and was voted NFL MVP by the Associated Press, and then was out of the league ...

Breaking Down The Philly Gas Station Looting Footage<em></em>
The Philadelphia Eagles are Super Bowl champions, and the city is still here....

Barstool Employee Unhappy About Being Filmed In The Shower By His Boss
On Saturday, Barstool Sports president and short-tempered Adderall pill Dave Portnoy posted a video of one of his employees, Adam Smith, naked in the shower. Portnoy published the video to Twitter and then deleted it because, he said, Smith “cried like a baby about his dick being on the internet.”...

Nick Foles Called The “Philly Special” Play Himself
The “Philly Special”—the trick play at the end of the first half of Super Bowl 52 when backup tight end Trey Burton took the ball on an end around and threw a touchdown pass to quarterback Nick Foles—is already etched in the mind of every Philadelphia sports fan....

We Ate Lutefisk And Didn’t Die<em></em>
So this is lutefisk, and it sucks. It’s fish that been preserved in lye and broken down into a strange jellylike texture, which is exactly as appeitizing as it sounds. We bought it because we were in Minnesota and it seemed like a very Minnesota thing to do even though virtually NO Minnesotans eat t...

Malcolm Butler Releases Statement, Denies Missing Curfew
Patriots cornerback Malcolm Butler, who remained mysteriously benched for the Super Bowl while the Patriots surrendered 538 total yards to the Eagles, has released a statement denying thinly sourced reports that he was held out of the game because he missed curfew....

Let's Play Broomball: The Other Ice Sport!
Any asshole can play hockey, but the delightful Minnesotan sport of BROOMBALL is for TRUE ICEBOYS. ...

Burger Boy John Podhoretz Needs His Burger!
Being on Twitter for an extended period of time is guaranteed to make you a worse person. Most people, as they become bad, begin to exhibit the characteristics of few familiar archetypes: smarmy scold, aggressive moron, screaming sadist, wised-up industry knower, etc. It’s not good for you, but it i...

Report: Foxboro Police Called To Rob Gronkowski's House For Reported Burglary
Police were called to Patriots tight end Rob Gronkowski’s house this evening for a reported burglary, according to Boston 25 News....

Lily Foles Shows What True Poise Looks Like In The National Football League
Let’s talk about what’s needed to be a truly outstanding representative of the National Football League on the big stage. Let’s talk about poise. Let’s talk about composure. Let’s talk about grace under pressure. Grit! Balance! A cool head! You know who embodied all of that last night? More than any...

The Deadspin Eagles Idiot Visited The Mall Of America
BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — When it opened in 1992, the Mall of America was so big the owners offered rentable cell phones so shoppers could contact each other throughout the mall. It is now the second-largest mall in the country in terms of gross leasable space, behind the King of Prussia Mall in suburban...