ow Page 485 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Glove-Aided Dinger Helps Red Sox Stave Off Elimination
The Red Sox-Astros series was looking like a real turd heading into Game 3, with the Astros having outscored the Red Sox 16-4 in a pair of lopsided games in Houston. The Red Sox responded Sunday afternoon at Fenway with some overdue offense and managed to push the series to a Game 4....
The Eagles Pulled Off A Ridiculously Elaborate Baseball-Themed TD Celebration
Famous South Jersey native and baseball player Mike Trout is at the Eagles game today, so the team’s offense performed an impressively elaborate baseball celebration to honor him (and possibly recruit him for the Phillies, who knows)....
Myles Garrett Gets A Sack On His First NFL Play
First overall pick Myles Garrett had to miss the start of the season with an ankle sprain, but in his first career NFL appearance, he quickly made up for lost time, rushing through some awful blocking to get a sack on his very first NFL snap....
Don't Do It! Don't Do It!
Oh, you doubt Rashaad Penny’s Heisman bona fides?...
Here Is How To Turn Victory Into Defeat In 99 Yards
Miami U. has been the MAC’s punching bag for a decade, but the hapless RedHawks had a chance to beat a very bad BGSU team with a first-and-goal from the one and less than two minutes left in the game. Miami did not win, because they fumbled and allowed the Falcons’ Brandon Harris to take it the leng...
Sad-Sack Airport Bozos Want To Protest Super Bowl Flights Because Of Anthem Protests
Members of the administrative commission of dipshit also-ran-ass airport Brainerd Lakes Regional reportedly spoke out against NFL anthem protests Thurdsay, while discussing air travel contingencies for the 2018 Super Bowl, to be held in Minneapolis. This world is a goddamn toilet....
Oklahoma Upset By 31-Point Underdog Iowa State
Baker Mayfield and the third-ranked Oklahoma Sooners were upset this afternoon by unranked Iowa State, a 31-point underdog, after the Cyclones outscored the Sooners 25-7 in the second half....
Ghana Effectively Knocked Out Of World Cup Qualifying By Bullshit Offside Call
Raphael Dwamena’s match-winning goal with 15 seconds remaining in added time against Uganda came off the board as South African referee Daniel Bennett inexplicably ruled Dwamena to be offside, effectively eliminating Ghana from World Cup contention. ...
To Be Fair, Consuming Hallucinogens While In Toledo Is Advised
We can only assume Jay Feely is suffering from a glitch in the Matrix:...
Jets Try Talking Shit To Browns, Immediately Back Down
So the New York Jets, a very bad and anonymous football team that many people believed had a shot at going 0-16, are 2-2. They’ve beaten the Jaguars and the Dolphins, and this week they take on the Browns. I guess if there was any time for the 2017 Jets to feel chesty, this is it, which explains why...
<i>Jeopardy!</i> Contestant Has Won Eight In A Row And Works Perfectly As A Heel
Jeopardy! is a wonderful show, but it almost always features contestants who can politely be described as “bookish.” The program carries a sober tone, and host Alex Trebek keeps the antics to a minimum, even during the contestants’ mid-round anecdotes (the worst part of each episode). Then, Austin R...
Sad Brady
Our pal Tom just needs to drink more of his special water. ...
The Short Life And Neverending Afterlife Of Rush Limbaugh's Disastrous ESPN Stint<em></em>
There is a physical thing that happens to a certain type of Famous Terrible American, and once this thing begins happening it does not stop. It does not happen to every Famous Terrible American, and the process does not begin at the same moment in their respective Famous, Terrible American lives; on...
ESPN Enters Incomprehensible Partnership With Incomprehensible Media Company
Big news in the world of digital media today, as Ad Age has a scoop about ESPN partnering with Cycle, a “media network” that “evolved from an internal influencer management division at Laundry Service to a sibling content company last year.”...
This Is Some Extremely Rude Shit To Do In A Basketball Game
It’s hard not to feel bad for Andre Roberson, a professional NBA player with a shot so bad that opponents will openly laugh at him during a playoff game. ...
Lance Russell, The Greatest Pro Wrestling Announcer Of All Time, Dies At 91
Lance Russell, the professional wrestling announcer best known as the voice of the sport in the territory surrounding Memphis, Tenn. for decades, as well as for his stint in WCW, died Tuesday morning at the age of 91. He had broken his hip in a fall on Friday shortly after his daughter, Valerie, die...
MLB's International Signing Rules Are A Disgrace
The precise details of what led to former Atlanta Braves general manager John Coppolella’s downfall are still unknown, but the basics are out: It was a breach of international signing rules, one said to be “significantly bigger” than the one that cost the Red Sox dearly last year. That makes this a ...
High School Football Player Ejected After Bodyslamming Opponent
A high school football game between Sevier County and Gibbs High (Tenn.) briefly got out of hand over the weekend when Sevier County defensive end Jeff Bersch attempted to powerbomb one of his opponents:...
Maybe Now Is Not Such A Good Time To Remake Your Jumper, Markelle Fultz
A couple days ago Mike Schmitz, formerly of DraftExpress and now of ESPN, tweeted out this interesting, perhaps troubling video of Markelle Fultz shooting free throws during a Sixers training camp practice:...