ow Page 512 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Whose Hat? My Hat
Did you lose your hat? Too bad; it belongs to the bear now. It’s his. ...
The Pro Bowl's Skill Competitions Were Surprisingly Fun<em></em>
The NFL spiced up the normally staid Pro Bowl week with its first ever skills competition. Some of those skills were, predictably, boring (e.g: throw a football over there, catch a bunch of footballs), but a few were much more fun than expected. The NFC beat the AFC 3-2 in the five-challenge gauntle...
Shootout Winner Bounces Off Back Of Goalie's Head
Rochester goalie Linus Ullmark was the star in last night’s AHL game between the Americans and the Toronto Marlies, stopping 39 of 40 shots, and yet he ends up on the lowlight reel. Life isn’t fair sometimes....
Justin Tucker Nailed A 75-Yard Field Goal
The Pro Bowl is a meaningless spectacle that is only as valuable as the silly highlights it provides. For the first time, there will be a skills competition of sorts, which includes catching footballs dropped by a drone. That might be cool, but it probably won’t be nearly as impressive as Justin Tuc...
Roger Goodell Insists That Thursday Games Are Not Ass
Roger Goodell had a chat with repugnant putz Colin Cowherd today on his show, and, among other topics, the NFL commissioner defended the quality of Thursday games....
Trump's Greatest Allies Are Craven Shithead <i>Serious Journalists</i> Like This Guy
First, a quick recap....
Paid Political Hacks Are Scum
Turns out that Robby Mook was the perfect campaign manager for Hillary Clinton after all. He’s just like his boss: can’t win an election, but can get rich giving revolting speeches afterwards....
These DeAndre Jordan Free Throws Are High Art
DeAndre Jordan stands to have his production decline as much as anyone on the Clippers in Chris Paul’s absence. Jordan is Paul’s primary alley-oop muse, and his offensive rebounding skills are a lot less handy without Paul’s penetration. However, that has nothing to do with Jordan airmailing two fre...
Dan Gilbert Has Had It Up To Here With These Landlines That Won't Receive His Text Messages<em></em>
This weekend, the New York Times published an article on Dan Gilbert and his scam mortgage factory, Quicken Loans. It reads like a typical Times business article for the most part, but whenever it touches on Gilbert himself, he comes off as a paranoid business guy keen on digging up conspiracies aga...
College Basketball Player Loses Shoe, Proves That Sometimes It's Okay To Give Up
Drury University freshman guard Lexie Vaught lost her shoe during Saturday’s game against Rockhurst University, and chose to play through it. She should not have done that....
Stan Wawrinka Drained Jo-Wilfried Tsonga's Will To Live
The notion of athletes “wanting it more” than one another must be one of the most insufferably inane tropes of sports analysis, but halfway through an Australian Open match between Jo-Wilfried Tsonga and Stan Wawrinka the commentators began flinging it, and at some point it actually began to stick. ...
Republican: I Am Dumb
Today, an attorney takes to the pages of a national publication to declare loudly and for all to hear that she is dumb, easily persuadable, and lacking in any genuine moral foundation whatsoever. ...
Craven <i>WaPo </i>Reporters Praise Trump's Press Secretary For Lying With More Composure This Time
Get a load of these sorry quisling motherfuckers....
Conference Investigating Wild, WWE-Style Brawl In DII Game<em></em>
Most basketbrawls get mopped up shortly after they start. Refs and coaches intervene before things boil over into a full-blown free-for-all and the perpetrators are quickly subdued. Most never escalate to the point that a fan takes a chair to the head of a player who is currently being, but that’s e...
That Time Bill Goldberg Tossed A Caddy Into A Water Hazard For Messing With Him
Bill Goldberg is not someone you want to put in a position to own you. The former NFL practice squad guy and WWE/WCW champion just recently came out of retirement, but back in 2002, he was near the peak of his powers. This yellow-shirted buffoon should have known that Goldberg was liable to follow t...
How "Fake News" Became Meaningless
Let’s talk about fake news. Are you excited? I am! (Actually I’m not. That claim was fake news.)...
Atlanta Bar Forced To Apologize To Crybaby Falcons Fans
There is a bar in Atlanta called Park Tavern that will be hosting a pep rally for Packers fans the day before the NFC championship game. The event is being put on by Packers Everywhere, a group that rents out bars and hosts events for Packers fans all across the country. A fanbase taking over a part...
Jermaine Jones Calls Tim Howard's Comments On USMNT Dual Nationals "Dangerous Stuff"
On Tuesday, USMNT goalkeeper Tim Howard questioned the passion of his dual-national teammates, in part blaming them and their lack of American-ness for the USMNT’s recent string of poor results. He tried walking back those comments by citing the strong play of dual-national teammates Jermaine Jones ...