ow Page 523 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Hot Fucking Stove Is Now Happening
Welcome to our first Hot Stove in Trump’s America, where, unlike the rest of Trump’s America, the men getting rich will actually deserve it....
Professional Tennis Player Takes Set While Serving Underhand
Mackie McDonald was up 4-3 in the first set against Peter Polansky during today’s ATP Challenger event in Knoxville, before taking an injury timeout. When he returned, he could no longer slam a strong and righteous overhead serve. So he settled for these little underhand slices. ...
Bruins Go Five-Hole For Own Goal
The Bruins were murder on goalies last night, chasing Sergei Bobrovsky with four goals on nine shots in their eventual 5-2 win over the Blue Jackets. They got to Tuukka Rask too, even though he plays for them. Defenseman Colin Miller mishandled the puck and put it right between Rask’s legs for an ow...
It Doesn't Matter Who The Browns' Quarterback Is
Let’s run it down. The Browns are 0-10 for the first time in franchise history. They’ve dropped 13 in a row, the longest losing streak in franchise history. They’ve given up at least 25 points in 11 straight games, the longest such streak in modern NFL history. So any midgame quarterback changes hav...
The Browns Are Just A Big Fuckin' Bummer
The Cleveland Browns started their night off by burning a timeout before the first play from scrimmage. After they forced the Ravens to punt, two players attempted to field that kick. It got better, briefly, but the Browns started their evening off by falling all over themselves and they never reall...
A Crowd Marched Up Manhattan To Yell At A Big Ugly Building<em></em>
The protestors were mostly gone by the time I arrived at Union Square on Wednesday night. They had begun to march towards Trump Tower, stalling traffic as they held signs, phones, and contempt for the next president of the United States....
Terrelle Pryor Is The Only Good Thing About The Browns
The Cleveland Browns are improbably awful, and they’re careening face-first toward a winless season. Tonight, the Browns face the Ravens in Baltimore, their one national television appearance of the year. Ordinarily, this would be an invitation to do literally anything else with your time. But the B...
Browns. Ravens. <i>Tecmo Super Bowl</i>.
Can the Browns knock off the Ravens tonight? Find out in our Tecmo Super Bowl simulation, LIVE:...
New York Basketball Is Perfect And Pristine
We’ve been blessed with a few sequences of perfect basketball already this season, and last night the Knicks and Nets served up a hot slice of authentic “Big Apple” hoops. This encapsulates everything you need to know about the state of basketball in this city, whose crown prince is Brandon Jennings...
We Went To Rural Georgia And Smoked A Ton Of Meat
This week’s episode of Foodspin finds me and Drew in the small town of Unadilla, somewhere in what sure felt like the wilds of rural Georgia, where we visited what can only be described as the compound of famed barbecue master Myron Mixon. (Cue “Dueling Banjos.”) There we learned how to build a pit ...
Report: Tony Romo Is Healthy Enough To Play
The Cowboys haven’t had much to say about their quarterback situation, which has only gotten more complicated as Dak Prescott has continued to play well and as Tony Romo’s back has continued to heal. But new report from ESPN suggests that the team will have to make a definitive choice sooner rather ...
Tebow's Latest Miracle: Hitting A Walk-Off Single<em></em>
Jesus walked on water; Tim Tebow walked off against the Mesa Solar Sox. Tebow’s minor league career has thus far been marked by miracles, a marked inability to hit the baseball, and a minor injury, but tonight, he slapped a walk-off single for the Scottsdale Scorpions. ...
Mark Cuban: I Banned Those ESPN Reporters To Win The War Against Robots
Mark Cuban and the Dallas Mavericks pulled the credentials of experienced ESPN reporters Marc Stein and Tim MacMahon this weekend under mysterious circumstances. There was no obvious motive for the Mavericks to do so, and Cuban hasn’t said much to clear it up—but he broke his silence this evening. C...
All Hell Breaks Loose On Bills Field Goal Attempt
With three seconds left in the first half of the Seahawks-Bills game, chaos took over....
Ezekiel Elliott Named In February Police Report Of Possible Battery
Dallas Cowboys running back Ezekiel Elliott was named in another police report, this time for possible battery, involving the same woman who called police in July. This report was from a call to police in South Florida back in February and, like the July case, resulted in no criminal charges being ...
Report: Mo Wilkerson Was Benched For Missing His Own Birthday Party
Yesterday against the Dolphins, Jets coach Todd Bowles benched two of his best players, Mo Wilkerson and Sheldon Richardson, for the first quarter. Bowles declined to reveal to the press why he sat two of the team’s only indispensable players during a quarter in which the Dolphins put up two touchdo...
Cowboys Executives Murder The "Mannequin Challenge"
The teens started doing a fun thing called the “mannequin challenge” last week, and we all knew it was only a matter of time before the hot new meme suffered a tragic death at the hands of lame old people. And yet, we never expected this particular meme’s death to be so grisly....
Browns Player's Startling Guarantee: We Will Win A Game Sometime This Season
It’s been common to hear that the Browns aren’t as bad as their record indicates, and that’s true. They’ve been in a number of games until late, and they’ve had major injuries and a lot of bad breaks, and anyway, no one could be as bad as the Browns’ record indicates. You’re not going to hear that r...
Billionaire CEO Has A Few More Incredibly Patronizing Thoughts Before Election Day
This presidential election could decide the fate of abortion, immigration, race relations, and nuclear proliferation. What our nation needs now is a patronizing letter from an egomaniac corporate CEO. ...