ow Page 564 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Matt Bartkowski's Mom Is So Adorable
The Canucks’ moms are with the team on their two-game road trip (compare the happy picture above with this one of the Leafs’ dads), and everyone was having a good time in Vancouver’s 3-1 win at Colorado. No one more so than Beth Bartkowski, who saw her son score his first goal in more than three mon...
Two French Soccer Ladies Hash Out Their Differences By Brawling On The Field
What inspired Maude Perchey of Rouen and Bordeaux’s Eva Sumo to cease competing against one another within the strictures of soccer’s rule book and instead elect to get into some gangsta shit, we don’t know. What we do know is that Perchey throws punches like she’s trying to decapitate her opponent,...
Hassan Whiteside Tossed For Elbowing Boban Marjanovic In The Head
Oh surprise, Heat center Hassan Whiteside is doing dirty things again. This time it’s elbowing gigantic Spurs center Boban Marjanovic in the head while the two were fighting for position: ...
Goddammit, Benteke, Again?!?
If you can’t tell from the angle above, that is Liverpool’s Christian Benteke bearing down on West Ham’s goalkeeper in extra time of their FA Cup replay. If you know anything about the striker in question, you can guess what happened next:...
Browns Deny Report That They Covered For Drunk Johnny Manziel By Putting Him In Concussion Protocol
Quarterback Johnny Manziel missed the Browns’ final game of the season after the team reported that he was in the concussion protocol. NFL reporter Mike Silver emphatically claimed today that Manziel was actually in the protocol because he showed up drunk to practice on Dec. 30—and that the Browns l...
My Mom's Cool Report From The Broncos' Victory Parade
My mom works in Denver and has a window overlooking the site of the Broncos’ Super Bowl victory parade. She’s been texting me pictures and videos along with her commentary all day. Here now is her report from the scene....
Ron Rivera Has Cam Newton's Back On That Loose Ball
Von Miller’s second strip-sack of Cam Newton, which led to a touchdown that put the game away, will probably end up being the only long-memorable play from this Super Bowl. Not just because it was a crucial swing, but because it’ll forever be open to interpretation. What was Cam thinking?...
Conan Channels Cam Newton During Post-Joke Press Conference
Congratulations to Conan O’Brien, who managed to take the hot-take superfund site that was Cam Newton’s press conference and make it a set-up for a very enjoyable bit. I promise, this won’t annoy you at all!...
Aqib Talib Admits He Tried To Rip Corey Brown's Head Off On Purpose
It was a sloppy Super Bowl, sure, but it wasn’t a dirty one save for one play early in the second quarter, when Denver CB Aqib Talib grabbed hold of Carolina WR Corey Brown’s facemask and wrenched it as he rode Brown out of bounds, twisting like there was candy inside that could only be freed by pop...
"Maybe My Brain Wasn't As OK As I Thought It Was": Daniel Bryan Explains Concussions-Driven Retirement On <i>WWE Raw</i>
One of professional wrestling’s most popular performers shocked the community today when Daniel Bryan announced suddenly on Twitter that he was retiring, effective immediately. Tonight on Raw, Bryan told the Seattle audience—many of whom were seen openly weeping—that “I don’t want to be doing this a...
This Wouldn't Take Down The Brock Lesnar I Know
Have something you think we should know? Email us at [email protected], or contact our writers directly, or use our SecureDrop system. You can also follow us on Twitter and like us on Facebook....
University Of Rochester's Intentionally Missed Free Throw Leads To A Buzzer-Beating Three
Down a couple of points with under five seconds left, the best thing to do at the free throw line is to intentionally miss, collect the rebound, and make a quick shot. Except, this never actually works in practice....
Affidavit: Johnny Manziel Restrained, Beat, And Threatened To Kill Colleen Crowley
As part of her request for a protective order against Johnny Manziel, Colleen Crowley outlined in an affidavit what she said happened the night Manziel is accused of beating her up. In the document, Crowley describes a horrific night in which Manziel keeps her from leaving his hotel room, later thro...
Hey How'd Your Fantasy Puppy Bowl Team Do? Mine Was Mostly Useless Garbage Dogs.
My cool team of puppies turned out to be a team of Star and two total losers. Despite high hopes for my fantasy Puppy Bowl team, Countess scored a measly field goal (I’m not totally sure how a dog does that) and Gryffin didn’t even see the field, perhaps being busted during Puppy Bowl Week for solic...
Seahawks Defensive End Frank Clark On Cam Newton: "That Boy A Bitch"
Seahawks rookie defensive end Frank Clark, whose team lost to the Panthers in this year’s divisional round, has some thoughts about Cam Newton:...
After 38 Seasons, Wade Phillips Is A Guy With A Super Bowl Ring
Between Cam Newton’s unraveling and Peyton Manning’s brand smooching, you might be having a hard time finding something to be unabashedly happy about in the wake of Super Bowl 50. Allow me to submit Broncos defensive coordinator Wade Phillips as a target for adulation....
St. Louis Lawyer Buys Super Bowl Ad To Tell Stan Kroenke To Get Fucked
I put out a call during last night’s Super Bowl local ad break for the best and worst of your local markets, and got replies ranging from axe-murderer Joe Jacoby to HVAC-shilling Mike Tyson to an ad in Omaha for a male enhancement doctor who will make your dong so powerful it will leave your partner...
Nobody Much Likes Losing
Here are some opinions a reasonable person can hold, simultaneously and without friction:...
Peyton Manning Can Eat Shit
In some parallel universe, the end of Super Bowl 50 is a heartwarming affair, with an aging legend riding the coattails of a young, brilliant defense to one last title … one glorious final run that ends with a gimpy old man sitting atop the shoulders of his teammates and being carried off into the s...
Did Cam Newton Leave His Press Conference Because He Could Hear Chris Harris Jr. Bragging?
Here’s a simultaneously hilarious and tragic bit of video that might throw a few kinks into everyone’s Cam Newton takes:...