ow Page 601 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

“Never Fight People Bigger Than You”: Your School Fight Horror Stories
I went to Spanish Camp when I was a kid (shut up), and there was this one kid named Dave who was always a dick to me. I spent pretty much every waking moment ruminating on how much I hated Dave, until one day when I couldn’t take it anymore, and I walked up behind Dave and sucker-punched him. Total ...

Goalkeeper Just Throws The Ball Into His Own Net
Your first impulse after watching this debacle is probably to cry “Match fixing!” but to paraphrase an old saying, never attribute to corruption that which can be adequately explained by ineptitude. Throw it or hold it, don’t try to do both at once....

Fat Guy Touchdown Alert!
It’s always big news in these parts when a Fat Guy scores a touchdown, and it happened tonight in the CFL as Ottawa defensive lineman Zack Evans came away with a ball out of Edmonton’s QB Matt Nichols’s hand and took it 65 yards to the maison. It’s not much consolation for the Redblacks, who are get...

How Do I Furnish My Adult Apartment?
Ask An Adequate Woman is a space where folks can ask the questions they can’t—or maybe just won’t!—pose to their friends about relationships, fashion, family dramas, dating, existential crises, weird sex stuff, and everything else. The Women of Deadspin (and some of our clever friends) are here to h...


How To Move Across the Country, One Step At A Time
Last winter, after waffling between leaving or staying in Brooklyn for close to four years, I finally bit the bullet. I decamped to Seattle. I used to think I couldn’t live without an egg & cheese from the bodega, McGolrick Park, or Pete’s Candy Store (where there’s no candy, but plenty of liquor). ...
![Mark Cuban Calls ESPN Dipshit Chris Broussard's Reporting "Ridiculous" [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/1333104085409666407.png)
Mark Cuban Calls ESPN Dipshit Chris Broussard's Reporting "Ridiculous" [Update]
One of the more hilarious things to come out of the DeAndre Jordan Hostage Crisis of 2015 was the work of always-wrong ESPN doofus/bigot Chris Broussard, a grossly stupid man and bad reporter....

Vince McMahon’s Rules For WWE Announcers Allegedly Leaked
Over on Squared Circle, the subreddit for professional wrestling, a user has posted eight pages of what purports to be instructions and rules given to WWE announcers a few years ago about everything from how they should dress to specific phrases they should avoid. You can view the notes in the imgur...

Chris Broussard And Bomani Jones Argue About Premarital Sex
Bomani Jones dished some takes about Russell Wilson’s sexless relationship with Ciara on Highly Questionable today, and his thoughts on premarital sex didn’t resonate with ESPN coworker Chris Broussard. The NBA writer came at Jones on Twitter for believing that chastity was silly....

Small Child Dunks, Gloats, Gets Owned So Hard
Make sure your speakers are on, because the audio here really is something special:...

Postman Flips His Shit Over Being Blocked By Tour De France
I get that it’s really annoying to have your mail route impeded by a massive bike race, especially when you’ve got “fuckin’ 80 kilos worth of post” to deliver. You just want to do your job, Angry Postman, and I can respect that. What definitely isn’t cool, though, is throwing tantrum that includes t...

Blind Umpire Calls Obvious Swinging Strike A Foul Tip
Blind umpire Paul Emmel blew what should have been the final pitch of the Padres’ eighth tonight when he declared the above play to be a foul tip off Derek Norris’s bat. Pirates pitcher A.J. Burnett was, as you might imagine, unhappy....

So Why Did Jason Whitlock Bail On A <i>New York</i> Mag Profile?
New York magazine has a new 4,000-word feature on ESPN personality Jason Whitlock out, and while it offers a good (if familiar) rundown of Whitlock’s career and how he ended up getting fired from his own non-existent website before it even launched, it offers nothing first-hand from its subject. Wha...

U.S. Steeplechase Runner Evan Jager Eats It, Triumphs
On the Fourth of July in Paris, Evan Jager did something perfect. The 26-year-old American lined up for a 3,000-meter steeplechase against nearly all of the best steeplers in the world, and over the first five minutes of the race, he joined Kenyan stud Jairus Birech in running away from the entire f...

A Brief History Of Gonzalo Higuaín Being A Choke Artist
Just when we thought Lionel Messi would finally end Argentina’s trophy drought and in the process get those dumb doubters from his native homeland off his back for good this weekend, Gonzalo Higuaín went ahead and shat the bed. Since we can’t sing the G.O.A.T.’s praises today, let’s at least take so...

Clueless Reporter To Tomas Berdych, Who Lost: How Did It Feel To Win?
Sixth seed Tomas Berdych went down in straight sets to Gilles Simon at Wimbledon today. That was news to—oh god—the very first reporter to ask Berdych a question at his press conference....

Rapper Secretly Uses Apple Store As A Recording Studio
It’s not that hard to fight the man! As long as you live in a city with an easily accessible Apple Store or two. Just ask Prince Harvey, a New York City rapper who recently recorded an entire new album for free on display computers in the SoHo Apple Store. ...

Oh God, What Is Croup, Does My Kid Have It, Oh God Oh God Oh God
Parenting a small child means, of course, doubling the number of people whose well being is your responsibility. This can be difficult, for a Wearer Of A Garbage Bag Because You Forgot To Buy Laundry Soap For The 27th Consecutive Week—for someone who has arrived, mostly by accident, deep in the swam...

How To Cook A Brisket, Which Is Totally Worth The Effort, I Swear
Just once in your life, cook a brisket, over smoky charcoal heat, on the grill. Do it for the solemn pride of having done so, and for the rime of authority it will lend to your future haughty pronouncements on the quality of others’ briskets. Do it because brisket—a massive cut of tough working musc...
