ow Page 616 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
First Quarter Offensive Explosion Propels Rockets Past Warriors
As well as the Warriors played in Game 3, the Rockets played even better in the first quarter of Game 4. Besides James Harden, the Rockets starters are all inconsistent offensive performers. But in the first quarter the Rockets went 17-21, 8-9 from three. James Harden scored “only” 10 of the Rockets...
<i>Jeopardy!</i> Champ Provides An All-Time Great Wrong Answer
When it comes to famous wrong Final Jeopardy! responses, most people think Cliff Clavin. But tonight’s Jeopardy! champion, Choyon Manjrekar, made his bid for infamy with a tremendous response to a clue that stumped all three contestants:...
Fenerbahçe Get Four Players Sent Off, Ruin Their Süper Lig Hopes
Fenerbahçe needed a win today at Istanbul Basaksehir to keep their hopes alive of beating rival Galatasaray for the Turkish Süper Lig title. Instead, they earned four red cards and managed a 2-2 draw with only seven players left on the pitch. One of those reds came from a substitute, Pierre Webo, wh...
Bah Gawd! It's An Al Horford-The Rock People's Elbow Mashup!
After Al Horford’s ejection for dropping The People’s Elbow on Matthew Dellavedova last night, it was only a matter of time before we compiled every angle of Horford’s move and mixed it in with some vintage footage of The Rock. And, yes, there’s the usual presence of “J.R.” Jim Ross in there too....
Sweden Wins Eurovision: Watch The Winning Performance
Måns Zelmerlöw crushed the other 26 finalists in bringing this year’s Eurovision Song Contest trophy to Sweden with his performance of “Heroes.” Eurovision was especially blah this year, as the contest watched worldwide (except for the U.S.) featured plenty of songs that sounded like Celine Dion or ...
Bryan Price Ejected From Game Before It Even Starts
Reds manager Bryan “Stick It Right Up My Ass” Price got himself ejected from today’s game against the Indians before it even started by picking an argument with the umpiring staff....
Rovell Forced To Give On-Air Apology For "Serious Error In Judgment"
After the Mayweather-Pacquiao fight on May 2, Darren Rovell attempted to explain to ESPN viewers the diverse range of mega-rich people in attendance. One of those people, we were told, was “loan shark” Bobby Freedman. Here’s the actual video of Rovell’s on-air appearance from 1:40 a.m. ET on May 3:...
Horrible, No-Good Keeper Sends Flying, Cleats-First Kick Into Ref's Back
A yellow? You’re going to try to embed your cleats into this unsuspecting referee’s vertebrae for a measly yellow card? The world’s a cold, cold place....
<i>Tomorrowland </i>Is Hopeful, Uplifting, And Absolutely Intolerable
1. Tomorrowland is a movie about optimism and hope and brightness and good cheer, which probably explains why it put me in such a foul mood. It’s like that television evangelist who’s so smiley and squeaky-clean that you just know he’s up to something weird when no one’s looking. This movie spends m...
Warriors Beat Rockets As James Harden Can't Get Final Shot Off
James Harden was brilliant all game, putting up a ridiculous 38/10/9 line without a ton of help from his non-Dwight Howard teammates. But on the final play of the game, down 99-98 with seven seconds to attack a scrambling Warriors defense, Harden inexplicably passed the ball to Howard, and when he g...
Jokes From David Letterman's Final Top 10 List, Ranked
10. Bill Murray...
Foo Fighters-Backed Letterman Closing Montage Is Mindblowing
Larry ‘Bud’ Melman! Drew Barrymore flashing! The GE fruit basket incident! Andy Kaufman! Late Show with David Letterman packed those and more into a furious closing montage last night that featured 562 different memorable moments from Letterman’s 33 years on late-night TV. (We counted.) The sports p...
"I'm Not Getting <i>The Tonight Show</i>"; Watch Letterman's Final Monologue
Tonight is David Letterman’s last show after 33 years of hosting late night television. Here’s his final opening monologue, in which he looks back on his decades of work. ...
There's A Mushroom Growing In My Tub!
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Zen Koans, As Brought To You By ESPN's Neil Everett
“It’s like the scarecrow in Oz, you get too close to the fire, eventually.. you’re going to get burned. Heh.”...
NBA Writer Wants To Yank His Crank To Wolves Owner's Wife
For the second straight NBA draft lottery, the sports media couldn’t keep its collective dick in its collective pants. Last year, Bucks owner Wes Edens had his 18-year-old daughter, Mallory, represent the team at the lottery, and sportswriters jizzed all over their computer screens. This year there ...
ESPN's New Hire Says Global-Warming Fears Are "Intellectually Dishonest"
ESPN is a sports media conglomerate that largely, intentionally operates under the conceit that sports exist within a vacuum, untouched by the outside world except for instances in which the outside world intrudes on the sports universe. It’s a fallacious conceit, but it has some unintended positive...
How To Win Your First Week At A New Job
The nice thing about a new job is that it probably won’t start sucking immediately. It’ll be easy at first—kind of like the first week of class, where the only thing expected of you is your presence and appropriate clothing (anything beyond pajamas). But unlike the first week of school, your first w...