ow Page 627 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jon Stewart Just Kicked Seth Rollins In The Dick
That ain't kayfabe....
"It's Okay If You're A Machine": Inside Hubie Brown's Brutal Philosophy
This piece was originally published in the Dec. 9, 1979 issue of the Atlanta Journal & Constitution Magazine. It is reprinted here with permission, and is followed by an afterward from the author....
Marshawn Lynch: "Yes, I Was Expecting The Ball"
Marshawn Lynch, no fan of the NFL media, opened up more than he has to date about the end of the Super Bowl, and he did it, of all places, on TV in Turkey. ...
Chris Sale Fractures Foot Stepping Off Of His Truck
I thought I'd already hit my quota of peculiar spring training injury stories for the day earlier, but thanks to White Sox pitcher Chris Sale, here I am again. ...
This Is The Worst Shot I've Ever Seen
The above GIF features one of the 400 or so best basketball players in a world earnestly attempting to make a shot—I think—in a real live basketball game that counted in the standings and everything. It went about 20 feet too high, 20 feet too deep, and 20 feet too wide, but at least Alexey Shved is...
How To Make Arrabbiata Sauce, The Angriest, Loveliest Sauce Of All
Picture, in your mind, a mundane interaction between any two regular, essentially happy Italian people. One purchasing a packet of chewing gum from the other, for example. Can you picture it? The screaming, the wild gesticulating, the red faces, the flashing whites of crazed eyes and bared teet...
Orioles Augment Drills With Fake Crowd Noise; Neighbors Call The Cops
Baltimore Orioles manager Buck Showalter came up with a fun new spring training drill by forcing his players to field pop-ups while piping loud-ass fake crowd noise through the stadium's PA system. Unfortunately, some sensitive baby called the cops on them:...
Kendrick Perkins Had A Very Kendrick Perkins Game
LeBron James was amazing, but I would like to draw your attention to another remarkable performance from last night's game between the Cleveland Cavaliers and the Golden State Warriors: That of Kendrick Perkins, a rusty tugboat that washed up onto a basketball court during a hurricane....
How To Tell If You're Being A Crank On The Internet, And How To Stop
Man, you sure are het up! Agitated. Can you believe these goddamn coddled athletes/P.C. Police/Now Finaglin' Cheatriots/Twitter-celebrated pop stars of possibly dubious talent/people talking about the colors on a dress when we haven't even solved all The Problems yet? I mean, cheese and rice! ...
Kyle Lowry And DeMar DeRozan: We Are Trash
The Toronto Raptors have hit a bit of a rough patch this month, and the team's struggles have a lot to do with backcourt duo Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan playing like trash. Their words, not mine!...
These Cattle Can Move
Yes, yes I will watch more videos of authorities incompetently attempting to wrangle loose animals set to Yakety Sax. ...
Local News Segment On Sledding Leads To Multiple Crashes
Today's edition of "People from the South Learning About the Cold" takes us to Greenville, S.C., where WYFF news sent a reporter into the field to do some sledding. Unfortunately, she failed to adhere to the first rule of sledding, which is to never sled face-first into a dirty-ass block of frozen s...
Fuck Tyga
Tyga's name has been on the blogs and the Twitter a lot lately, and rightfully so: The rapper, a 25-year-old man, is allegedly doing it with hair-saleswoman Kylie Jenner, a 17-year-old Kardashian. Maybe they're just occasionally going out for froyo. Maybe they're fucking. If the latter is true, it's...
If The Dez Bryant Video Exists, We'll Buy It
We do not know if there is actually video of Dez Bryant doing something very, very bad. If there is, we will pay money for it. ...
Damn, Man, Tim Howard Is Having One Sad-Ass Season
It's been less than a year since Tim Howard became America's World Cup hero, staring down an unrelenting Belgian attack and turning away 16 goddamn shots with the grim resolve of an action hero who's low on ammo. In fact, go ahead and watch each one of those beautiful, thrilling saves one more time....
Here's A Very Bad PR Pitch Tied To The Supposed Dez Bryant Video
The rumor that there's video of Dez Bryant doing something bad is gaining steam—though not necessarily legitimacy—and while everyone waits for something to happen, one enterprising PR person figured out how to spin this into an opportunity for a client....
That Time Someone Said Peyton Hillis Wanted To Retire And Join The CIA
Today, the New York Giants released Madden 12 cover athlete—good job, fans—and running back Peyton Hillis. Did you even know Hillis was still in the league? A better question: Do you remember when a rumor came out in March 2012 that Hillis, at that time a free agent, was considering retirement so he...
Rick Carlisle Gets The Business From Rajon Rondo, Reporter
Dallas Mavericks head coach Rick Carlisle did not have the best day at the office yesterday. His team came away with a 99-92 victory over the Toronto Raptors, which was good, but he also got into a shouting match with starting point guard Rajon Rondo in the middle of the game, which was very bad. Th...
5 Minutes Of South Carolina Newscast Wasted Reporting Fake Disney News
Charleston, S.C. ABC affiliate WCIV threw the premise of reporting actual news out the window during last night's 6 p.m. newscast, instead turning the program over to a fictional Disney character....