ow Page 629 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Do Not Root For The Goddamn Patriots
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Lynch To Media: "If Y'all Ain't Mad At Me, Then What Y'all Here For?"
Marshawn Lynch had to make his final Super Bowl week media appearance today, and unlike his previous two press conferences, he came with a direct message for writers and reporters....
You Can Tell College Gronk's Cool Because He's Wearing Sunglasses
Here we see human Spuds MacKenzie Rob Gronkowski in his natural state at the University of Arizona: No shirt, sunglasses, and a big dumb smirk. You can hear the 311 playing through your screen....
Splendor in the Short Grass
Here's Grover Lewis' famous Rolling Stone takeout on the filming of The Last Picture Show:...
NFLPA Response: With These Benevolent Owners, Who Needs A Union?
After our editorial urging NFL players to form a union ran yesterday, we received the below reply from NFLPA Assistant Executive Director of External Affairs George Atallah....
Atlético-Barcelona Game Goes Insane When Player Throws Shoe At Ref
Non-stop action from kickoff, an opening-minute goal from the all-of-the-sudden rejuvenated Fernando Torres, a dubious penalty call, two more incidents that could've easily led to pens, and five total goals made for a bonkers first half in today's Atlético Madrid-Barcelona Copa del Rey match. Then...
How To Hit On Girls In The Club (Or Not)
Let me get this out of the way: I love both going to the club (dancing and music are great!) and dudes (they're so cute!). But dudes absolutely ruin the club. There's a reason ladies often get in for free or cheap: Both dudes and non-dudes are happier when the dude ratio is lower. Just a small sampl...
I'm A Grown Man Who Wet The Bed. What Do I Do Now?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Watch Marshawn Lynch Frustrate Adult Reporters By Not Talking
Marshawn Lynch had to sit through another five-minute session with the media today. As expected, he didn't have anything to say—"You know why I'm here" was his go-to answer for the day—and oh man did that get under the skin of the grown men who, for some reason, continue to ask him questions....
It Is Time To Crown The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack. VOTE VOTE VOTE!
It comes down to this, a battle of the triangular, compressed corn chip: The final matchup in our Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs pits two number 1 seeds, Nacho Cheese Doritos and Tortilla Chips, against one another....
Dumbass Mad At Marshawn Lynch For Giving Him Column Fodder
Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch gave the same answer to every question he received at Super Bowl Media Day, and Philadelphia Daily News columnist Marcus Hayes got upset about it—so upset, in fact, that he used Lynch's anti-media performance as a topic for his latest column. ...
What Are Bill Belichick's Other Horcruxes?
Seeing as how Lord Belichick inadvertently revealed the nature of one of his Horcruxes today, we thought now would be a good time to try and figure out what items house the other six pieces of his sundered soul. These are our guesses, and please feel free to share your own in the comments....
Watch Marshawn Lynch Give The Same Answer 25 Times At Media Day
Seattle Seahawks running back Marshawn Lynch made an appearance at Super Bowl Media Day today so as to avoid getting fined. In the video above, you can see him respond to 25 straight questions with the same answer, "I'm here so I won't get fined."...
One-Seventh Of Bill Belichick's Soul Likely Hidden In Monkey Puppet
During his Media Day session, Bill Belichick received a question that was actually valuable from Patriots linebacker Jerod Mayo's daughter. She asked him what his favorite stuffed animal was, and Belichick hit her with this:...
Rob Gronkowski Reads Gronk Erotica Out Loud At Super Bowl Media Day
Thanks to the half-serious circus that is Super Bowl Media Day, someone persuaded extremely tall fifth-grader Rob Gronkowski into reading a line from A Gronking To Remember, the Gronk-themed erotica that surfaced on Amazon earlier this month....
Louis C.K. Has A Good Take On The Ballghazi Scandal
If you're starting to feel a little suffocated by Ballghazi hysteria, allow funnyman Louis C.K. to bring a little levity into the situation....
How To Beat Insomnia, Or At Least Learn Good Sleep Habits, Ya Zombie
One of the features of young-adulthood is being oh God like soooooo hungover and sleep-deprived all the time, darkly glamorous behind thick, black vampire shades and beneath wild bedhead, lurching into your workplace like Death itself with a not now OK scowl and scandalizing all the old married fa...
The Patriots' Hotel's Fire Alarm Went Off Last Night
The Patriots' first night in Arizona was not a restful one; after getting in and doing their press conferences (including a particularly impassioned one from Bob Kraft), the team turned in—only to be woken up by a blaring fire alarm at around 1:30 local time....
Brandon Browner Says Injured Seahawks Are Targets
Patriots corner Brandon Browner—who spent the previous three seasons with the Seahawks—was not shy about his belief that New England needs to target his banged-up former teammates. Speaking to ESPN, Browner specifically referenced Richard Sherman's sprained elbow and Earl Thomas's separated shoulder...
"This Is A Serious Situation"
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....