ow Page 629 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Alabama News Station Reports That Water Freezes When It's Cold
Okay, yes, this is an incredibly silly thing to base a news report on, but please try to remember that these people live in Huntsville, Ala., where the current temperature being 20 degrees is probably making a lot of residents feel like they have been transported to some strange ice planet. It's a c...
Celebrate Throwback Thursday With A Heartwarming 9/11 Memory
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
Jay Williams Misremembers Playing Duke-UNC Game Against Vince Carter
Jay Williams attempted to explain the experience of playing in a Duke-UNC rivalry game to ESPN's audience tonight, though in his attempt to name-drop some of the Tar Heels players he faced as a member of the Blue Devils, he mentioned Vince Carter—a player who was already in the NBA by the time Willi...
Your Computer Is Filthy. Why Won't You Clean It?
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Work Hard, Blot: Lipstick And The Fifth-Fastest Indoor Mile Ever
Dammit people, put down the fatty and pay attention to women's middle distance track. U.S. women are killing it on a global scale. Take Shannon Rowbury, above: Already a two-time Olympian and lotta-time World Championship finalist, she broke from the gate this year and laid down a 4:22.66 mile at ...
Q&A: Nathan, A Bloodhound That Did Not Win The Westminster Dog Show
Another year, another February; another parade of dogs coming to a gray and bitter New York in hopes of winning the big ribbon at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show. Of all this year's upsets, few were as touching as the toppling of Flessner's International S'Cess, a handsome bloodhound from Mar...
Middle School Basketball Team Loses In Heartbreaking Fashion
These eighth-graders learned a very important lesson yesterday: life isn't remotely fair. If you lose a game because of missing a game-winning shot, okay, but losing because the ball gets stuck on the rim, triggering a jump ball with 0.0 seconds left? That's just cruel. The kid lying on the floor ...
How To Suck Up To Your Terrible Boss
In the abyss of degradation that is the modern office, pretending to respect your boss is one of the more difficult tasks you might face. He or she controls your paycheck, dictates what hours you're chained to your desk, and calls pointless meetings just to hear his own voice with different acoust...
How To Talk To Girls On Twitter Without Coming Off Like A Creepy Rando
So, here you are, my friend, following a lot of brilliant women on Twitter (I hope). It's so fun, and the best part of Twitter is connecting with people, so you want to reply to some of her great tweets with your own great opinions and jokes! Cool, cool, but here are some things to keep in mind....
TV Host To Surfer Live On Air: "Stay The Fuck Away From My Girlfriend"
This happened last week on a music television show in Australia. That fellow who just got finished being interviewed is American surfer Kolohe Andino, who was in town for the Australian Open of surfing. The guy in the studio is named Danny Clayton, and he's here to prove that Australian TV hosts kee...
Doug Baldwin Reveals Football-Pooping Celebration Was For Darrelle Revis
Doug Baldwin commemorated his Super Bowl lead-extending touchdown catch by pretending either to poop out the football, or on it. (It's not clear which, but no one saw it anyway; NBC's director cut away in time, warned by the voice of his vigilant dead mother. Thankfully, it was filmed from the stand...
Report: Eagles Turned Down Josh Gordon For Nick Foles In 2013
That's the word from ESPN's Eagles beat writer Phil Sheridan—formerly of the Inquirer—who says that Philly nixed the trade offered by Cleveland before the start of the season....
How To Clean Up Every Mess Depicted In <i>Fifty Shades of Grey</i>
Fifty Shades of Grey is not a good book. The story essentially boils down to two boring people engaged in a boring contract negotiation, punctuated by seemingly endless rounds of shower/bathtub sex and a few light spankings. It's really very, very dull stuff....
Reggie Miller Is A Damned Moron, Part #72
It continues to astonish us how Turner—a company that gets nearly every aspect of NBA broadcasting perfect—continues to trot out known idiot Reggie Miller as its lead analyst. Reggie's lack of basic basketball knowledge emerged again tonight:...
Soccer Player Kicks Ball Directly Into His Own Face, Wins Foul
AC Milan played Empoli to a draw in Serie A today, during which a very hilarious thing transpired that I will now relay to you. Empoli defender Mario Rui was under a little pressure, and tried to escape by popping a bouncing ball over his head. If it worked, I assure you it would've been super coo...
Damn, Baron
Norman Powell just slammed home a nice dunk, but at best it's only the second best dunk by a UCLA Bruin ever. Or maybe it's lower? Did Tyus Edney ever do anything sweet for UCLA?...
Norman Powell Goes Through His Legs To Split Defenders, Dunks
Usually the dunks that get you jumping out of your seat happen because someone gets their head tomahawked on. So this effort from UCLA guard Norman Powell is a nice change of pace, a nice slam made impressive by the move that got Powell there. ...
How To Cook Valentine's Day Dinner, Like You Damn Well Should
The first thing to know about cooking for Valentine's Day is that the list of occasion-appropriate food preparations you'll find below was made in consultation with a woman, the only blemish on whose otherwise immaculate record of good taste and judgment is her baffling and indefensible decision to ...