ow Page 648 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

German Player's Perfect Strike From Center Circle Makes Great Own Goal
It takes a special kind of calmness to lob a ball from the edge of the center circle with enough accuracy to find the back of the net. Unfortunately, Christoph Kramer so calmly played this pass because he expected it to find his own keeper, not sail over his teammate's head and into the goal....

The Bears Can't Even Punt Properly
Punting is when YOU kick the ball to the OPPONENT. Not "let the opponent kick the ball."...

Ball Don't Lie, Especially When Passing To Your Own Lineman
Hard to believe the Raiders are winless!...

Cowboys WR Cole Beasley To Angry Dallas Fan: "Eat A Dick"
The Cowboys beat the Jaguars 31-17 today, but Dallas wide receiver Cole Beasley had a forgettable game, catching one pass for 11 yards and immediately fumbling that one reception. He dismissed the complaints on Twitter, but had a personal message for one Cowboys fan....

Reports: 20 Cowboys Missed A Curfew That May Or May Not Exist
The Cowboys are taking on the Jaguars in London today, and according to NFL.com's Ian Rapoport, 20 Cowboys players partied a little too hard on Friday night:...

Kurt Warner Frames Whole NFL Net Segment Around His Creationist Beliefs
Resident NFL Network Jesus freak Kurt Warner decided to tie in his anti-evolution "science" views this morning as part of a way to explain how Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger has adapted to NFL defenses. Then he argued with people on Twitter about it....

Browns WR's Son Now Knows Which Team To Support
Browns receiver Andrew Hawkins's son admitted his favorite players were Bengals back in October. Bad idea, kid. After a lot of introspection, however, Hawkins's son was allowed back in the house on Friday....

Receiver's Blunder Turns 78 Yard TD Catch Into 100 Yard Fumble Return
Kaelin Clay should have had a 79-yard touchdown catch to put Utah up 14-0 on Oregon. Instead, the Ducks tied the game when Clay dropped the ball short of the goal line and Oregon's Joe Walker picked it up to go the entire length of the field in the opposite direction....

MSU QB Suffers Most Horrific Injury In History, Per Kirk Herbstreit
Here's ABC/ESPN's Kirk Herbstreit getting his words a bit mixed up as he describes Michigan State quarterback Connor Cook suffering—literally!—an on-field cardiectomy....

Northern Iowa Beats NDSU, Ends Nation's Longest Division I Win Streak
North Dakota State's NCAA Division I-leading 33-game winning streak is over after losing 23-3 to Northern Iowa today at the UNI-Dome. ...

Figure Skaters Crash Into Each Other's Faces; One Later Busts Ass
At the Lexus Cup of China, the International Skating Union's Grand Prix of Figure Skating, there was a real humdinger of a bell-ringer between China's Han Yan and Japan's Yuzuru Hanyu in warmups. YouTube shows both men gliding backwards at concussion-ready speeds and turning into one another, chin...

Auburn Attempts Field Goal At End Of Half, Gives Up Touchdown Instead
Auburn was expected to cruise past a Texas A & M team without its starting quarterback today, only to find freshman Kyle Allen throwing four touchdown passes against them in the first half and a further deficit thanks to this breakdown at the end of the half, a ten-point swing that left the intermis...

How To Stir-Fry Beef, The Most Harrowing And Wonderful Thing
The problem with stir-frying is the common perception that it's this simple, quick way of throwing together a good dinner. I don't really know what to make, and I'm running late getting home from work, so I guess I'll just whip up some stir-fry is the thought process that leads, inexorably, to the...

High School Football Reporter Films Entrance, Gets Mauled By Team
Newspaper reporter Ed Castro was on the scene last night for Arrowhead Christian Academy's (Redlands, Calif.) home game against Western Christian. He had the ideal spot for getting video of ACA's tunnel entrance, up until the moment when he did not....

Bengals RB Jeremy Hill Says The 6-3 Browns Are Still Bad
Holy crap, the Browns are at the top of their division (tied with the Steelers). They beat the Bengals 24-3 last night to improve to 6-3, their best start since football returned to Cleveland in 1999. Hoyer the Destroyer! An impressive defense! Josh Gordon's coming back soon! But Bengals running bac...

Blazers Fan's Half-Court Shot Is Confounding And Terrible
A lucky Blazers fan got to take a half-court shot at last night's game, and I'm sure he would have won some kind of sweet prize if he had made the shot. He did not win a prize, though, because he somehow managed to do this: ...

Adorable Kid Thinks Candy Corn Is A Candle, Tosses It In The Garbage
A YouTuber named Kyle Quinn gave some candy corn (which is garbage) to an outrageously cute sixth-grader in China. That sixth-grader thought it was a candle, and threw it in the trash. That sixth grader is the best sixth grader....

Leah Still Reminds Us What A Bullshit Deal Childhood Cancer Is
The NFL Network (and, evidently, enormous caterpillars with human faces) have identified the sugary-awful emotional center of tonight's battle of Ohio: a 4-year-old named Leah Still, the daughter of Bengals defensive tackle Devon Still. She's attending the Browns-Bengals game tonight. It's t...

