ow Page 701 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Browns President On New Uniforms: Wait 'Til Next Year
The Browns are getting new uniforms and team president Alec Scheiner is really jazzed about them. Good news for the fans: it doesn't sound like they are going to be the uniform equivalent of a telephone for old people, like Tampa Bay's new look. Bad news: they're going to have to wait until an unspe...
What It Was Like Being The Only Virgin On Magic's Hypersexed Lakers
The following is excerpted from Showtime: Magic, Kareem, Riley, and the Los Angeles Lakers Dynasty of the 1980s, which is available now on Amazon....
Disappointed Knicks Kid Is Just So Disappointed
The Knicks lost 96-85 to the dreadful Pistons in Detroit last night, and this poor kid was there to see it. Being a Knicks fan is hard enough, but being a Knicks fan who lives in Michigan and only gets to see his favorite team the few times they come to town is even harder....
The Dadspin Guide To The American Snow Day
It's snowing. Again. I live in an area where the arrival of half a snowflake results in the absolute cessation of all business and public transport and hospital respirators, so school is closed. For the 90th fucking time. At this rate, my children will learn to read sometime around 2085....
Rob Gronkowski Holds Tiny Dog
Rob Gronkowski—who was created in a laboratory when a scientist accidentally spilled a creatine shake on a backpack full of Natty Daddies—loves dogs. Look at Gronk hold that tiny dog....
Mick Cronin Needed To Be Separated From Referee Ted Valentine
Mick Cronin was not a happy camper as he watched his No. 11 Cincinnati squad lose 51-45 to unranked UConn. After a call went against Cincinnati on a loose ball, Cronin angrily voiced his displeasure with Ted Valentine who was, of course, only too happy to entertain the grievance. ...
How To Cook Sea Scallops Without Ruining Them: The Case Against Bacon
Step one is hiring a sinister shifty-eyed fellow with a pencil mustache to remove the bacon from your refrigerator and hide it somewhere in your home where you cannot find it. OK, so he does not have to have a pencil mustache. But it will be awesomer if he does....
Alan Pardew Headbutts Opposing Player; Commentators Go Nuts
Newcastle United manager was sent off during the magpies match against Hull City for a head butt against City's David Meyler. As you can see, the Sky Sports guys lost their shit. And here's why: ...
The Hell Happened To Teddy Atlas Tonight?
We have no idea what possessed Teddy Atlas to launch this bizarre rendition of Harry Nilsson's "Coconut" in the intro of tonight's Friday Night Fights episode, but it's very weird....
Which Rapper Had The Best Athletic Career?
This list is ranked in order of athletic proficiency, not skills on the mic....
Here Is Some Very Important News About Dick Vitale
I'd drop a "Slow news day?!?" burn here, but I'm willing to bet that every day is a slow news day for the Lakewood Ranch Herald....
Phil Esposito On Callahan-St. Louis Trade Rumor: "What A Bunch Of Shit"
Earlier this week, Hockey Hall of Famer Phil Esposito appeared on a Toronto-based sports talk show and went on an epically uncensored rant about a trade rumor concerning the two captains of the Rangers and Lightning. While on "Next Sports Star," Esposito sounded off on Larry Brooks of the New York ...
Carl Crawford's Slide Is Still In Offseason Form
Hey, it's early. He's still got plenty of time to work out the kinks....
Arizona Radio Host Advocates Beaning Yasiel Puig
The most irritating rivalry in baseball will continue into 2014, at least in the minds of some fans and at least one sociopathic radio guy....
NFL Was Preparing To Move Super Bowl If Arizona's Anti-Gay Bill Passed
It is a moot point now that Arizona governor Jan Brewer vetoed the controversial SB 1062, but the NFL had already begun taking steps to secure a different location for next year's Super Bowl. It would have gone, in all likelihood, to Tampa....
Arizona Gov. Vetoes Intolerant Bill, Quiets Super Bowl Relocation Talk
Arizona governor Jan Brewer struck down an amendment to the Religious Freedom Restoration Act Wednesday night, dashing the possibility that Super Bowl XLIX wouldn't be held in Glendale....
The Browns Are Asking Prospects About Bricks And Paper Clips
Some franchises want to identify the best football players in the draft. The Cleveland Browns want to identify the best MacGyvers....
Jan Vesely Appears To Believe He Is Guarded By Ghosts
The day we lost Andrea Bargnani for the season was a very sad day, because it meant we would no longer be able to watch our favorite player who very often loses control over his own body. But lo, a potential savior arises, and he is called Jan Vesely. ...
Dwight Howard Blocks Little Kid; Little Kid Schools Dwight Howard
If you're a small child and you want to go one-on-one with Dwight Howard, now seems to be the time to strike. Previously, we saw him dunk on and block the crap out of a small Wizards fan, and now we have him taking on a pint-sized Kings fan. But this game comes with a surprise ending....