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Deadspin 2013: The Year In ESPN Being Weird, Horny, And Dumb
We had a lot of ESPN-related coverage this year, because ESPN continues to be fertile ground for mockery. Here's everything we had to say about the monolithic sports network this year....

A Complete Breakdown Of The Year In Touchdown Celebrations
Geoff Foster of the Wall Street Journal has done the lord's work. He went back and watched every touchdown celebration that occurred in the NFL this year for the purpose of creating a comprehensive audit of how NFL players decided to get down after scoring....

No, NESN, That's Not How You Pronounce Maurice "Rocket" Richard's Name
Maurice Richard is one of ice hockey's most legendary and greatest players. The Canadiens winger was so good that upon his retirement in 1960, the Hockey Hall Of Fame waived its usual waiting period and immediately inducted him. You might think, then, that a Boston Bruins hockey broadcast on NESN mi...

Hockey Team's Ugly Sweater Jersey Is Definitely Ugly
Your eyes might hurt if you look directly at that piece of fabric. The Toledo Walleye, an ECHL hockey team, will be wearing these special edition jerseys on Ugly Sweater Night, presented by Goodwill on Dec. 28. If you're in love with it, you can buy one at an auction after the game. (You are not in...

Derrick Rose Isn't A Villain; He's Just A Guy Who Keeps Getting Hurt
Derrick Rose and the Chicago Bulls are making every stop on the favored-son-becomes-selfish-pariah road map. ...

What You're Expecting, But More So: <em>Anchorman 2</em>, Reviewed.
1. When did the tide start to turn on Ron Burgundy? It's a strange thing: Since Will Ferrell introduced his greatest creation in 2004, there has been a relentless drumbeat among the public to bring him back, from cameos on Conan to rampant interview requests to the ultimate point where Ferrell and P...

Angry Alabama Fan Drops The Best Burn On Colin Cowherd
Paul Finebaum welcomed ESPN radio personality and rat-faced gasbag Colin Cowherd onto his radio show yesterday, and the two did some chatting about Auburn's stunning win over Alabama in the Iron Bowl. Cowherd apparently had some not-nice things to say about Alabama during his segment. Big mistake, C...

Luis Scola Does Not Appear To Have Control Over His Own Legs
Well, at least he didn't go full Bargnani....

Andrea Bargnani Takes One Of The Stupidest Shots In NBA History
This is why the Knicks are the Knicks....

Bring On This Year's "Banned" Super Bowl Ads
For an outfit that claims to love 'mericuh, the NFL sure leans pink when it comes to a couple of the heartland's favorite Amendments. Like the Second, which forbids the government from regulating firearms in any form. And the First, which endows big companies with the right to advertise whatever the...

Worst-Case Scenario: Super Bowl Tuesday
Nearly everyone is rooting for snow at the Super Bowl, because snow football is awesome. A little bit of snow, anyway. Today was the "oh god, what if it snows really, really badly and everything is shut down" press conference, and officials revealed their contingency plan: just have the Super Bowl s...

Andre Iguodala Almost Made The Coolest Play Of The Year
The box score will tell you that Andre Iguodala's return to the Warriors last night was uneventful. Iggy came back from injury to play just 17 minutes and score two points while shooting 1-of-4 from the field. The box score will not tell you that he came this close to bringing the damn house down....

Elf Gronk Is Playing Hospital Football
Yesterday, we saw the photo. Now there's video:...


Deadspin 2013: The Meanest Things We Said About People
Like we do every year, we called a lot of people a lot of really mean names in 2013. Here's a collection of many of the mean things we called people this year....

Rob Gronkowski Now Has An Elf Costume To Go With His Sad Scooter
The Winter of Gronk continues its assault on the hearts of football fans across America. The days just keep getting colder and darker. ...

Ed Werder Doing A Segment With Spittle On His Lip Is The Grossest Thing
Being a Deadspin blogger means looking at a lot of really nasty stuff—horrifying snake bites, catastrophic injuries, gross dicks—but for some reason, nothing has ever grossed me out as much as Ed Werder's spittle just did. I don't know how to explain it, but I am shaken....

Jerry Jones On Why The NFL Is Like The Oregon Trail
From Jerry Jones's interview on 105.3 The Fan, as transcribed by Dan Steinberg at DC Sports Bog (because for some reason this was in response to a question about the Redskins):...

A Syracuse Blog Is Sending Hundreds Of Underprivileged Kids To A Bowl
Who wants to travel from Syracuse all the way to Houston to watch the Orange take on Minnesota in the Texas Bowl? Not many people. So 'Cuse blog Troy Nunes is an Absolute Magician presented its readership with an idea: Fans donate money, and kids from local youth groups will attend the game in their...