ow Page 779 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Don Cherry Thinks Women Don't Belong In Male Locker Rooms
Don Cherry, quite possibly the single greatest example of an empty suit, went off on a sexist tangent tonight where he told viewers he thought women should not be allowed in a men's locker room. ...

Messi Back To Scoring Ridiculous Goals, Bringing Ray Hudson To Orgasm
While Barcelona fell short of seizing La Liga today—they needed a win, and only got a draw, at Atletico Bilbao—it's hard to argue any viewer didn't get their money's worth when Lionel Messi danced amongst defenders in a demonstration of ball control that reminds anyone who might have forgotten that...

"I'm Coming To Kill You": OKC Ball Boy Not Happy With Westbrook Injury
When Russell Westbrook went down earlier this week with a potentially season-ending knee injury, basketball fans everywhere sighed loudly. Crazy, stupid and crazy-stupid people shouted at Patrick Beverley, the man who ran into Russell Westbrook's knee during the second quarter of Game 2 between the ...

Volleyball Player Takes Spike To The Face
You'll want to keep an eye on the sprightly player in blue, wearing number nine. Gotta love the "we'll get 'em next time, face" reaction, though....

Taste Test: Popeyes Rip'n Chick'n. Who Thought This Was A Good Idea?
It began, one imagines, as a simple question, posed conspiratorially around a gleaming boardroom conference table in an upper floor of AFC Enterprises headquarters in Sandy Springs, Ga.: Why settle for chicken fingers, when you could have an entire horrifying rheumatoid chicken hand that you grimly ...

Brian O'Nora Was Probably Puking Because He Swallowed His Chew
The Mets and Phillies experienced a brief delay in the first inning last night thanks to what is being variously described as Brian O'Nora's "flu like symptoms" or "illness." In all likelihood, however, the delay was probably due to Brian O'Nora vomiting up his chewing tabacco. ...

NFL Draft Prospect Tells Cop He Owns The Town; Cop Arrests Him
Today is "Tharold Simon Day" in Eunice, La., the hometown of former LSU cornerback Tharold Simon, who's expected to be picked in the middle rounds of this weekend's NFL draft. Simon apparently thought that made him above the law. A Eunice cop didn't quite see it that way....

The Goon Show
It'll come as no surprise that my favorite series at Grantland is the "Director's Cut" feature curated by Michael MacCambridge. He does a beautiful job and I'm always eager to see what gift he gives us next. Here's an especially good one—"The Making of a Goon," by Johnette Howard, which originally ...


NFL Net Anchor Says He Is Bad At Math, Then Makes Horrible Math Error
Today, draft day, is, we trust, a busy day at the NFL Network. No time for lots of things. But no time for math?...

Yes, Troy Tulowitzki Did Have A Mullet When He Was An Adorable Child
We've always been big fans Troy Tulowitzki's once-prodigious mullet (bring it back, Troy!), but until today, we had no idea that it was also an homage to Tulo's younger days. Thanks to the Colorado Rockies' Instagram account, though, we can now enjoy this picture of a mulleted, 8-year-old version of...

Feedbag: Why Does My Cooking Suck? Your Questions, Answered
Welcome to the Feedbag, where all the dumb questions about food, drink, cooking, eating, and accidental finger removal you've been embarrassed to ask can finally receive the berating they goddamn deserve. Also: answers. Send all your even-vaguely-food-related questions to [email protected]....

So, Where Can You Get Your NFL Draft Spoilers This Year?
One consequence of the NFL's ever-swelling influence over American sports fans has been the transformation of the NFL draft from a curiosity that was fun to watch on a lazy April weekend into a three-day spectacle that occupies primetime programming spots on ESPN and the NFL Network. But the draft's...

Cop Posing As Hooker Tells Browns LB Anal Sex Would Be An Extra $20
Journeyman linebacker Quentin Groves only signed with the Browns—his fourth team in six NFL seasons—last month. Welcome to Cleveland!...

A.J. "Fuckin' Shit" Clemente Gets Pep Talk From News Legend Tom Brokaw
A.J. Clemente, whose first day at the anchor desk of Bismarck NBC affiliate KFYR became his last after being fired for opening the show with "Fuckin' Shit," made the rounds at NBC this morning and even earned a pep talk from one one of the biggest figures in broadcast news: Tom Brokaw....

High School Athletes, Please Don't Hit Teammates With Your Penis
Oh, just your garden-variety, high school sports horseplay in Minnesota. Except it got weird. Real weird. And now one former student has pleaded guilty to what prosecutors termed not hazing, but sexual assault....

Report: Boston Bombing Suspect Was A 9/11 Truther
The AP just published a story that sheds some light on how the elder Boston Marathon bombing suspect, 26-year-old Tamerlan Tsarnaev, reportedly came to adopt a very radical worldview in the years leading up to he and his brother Dzhokahr's attack on the Boston Marathon....

Mike Brown Is Coming Back To Cleveland
According to Yahoo's Adrian Wojnarowski, Mike Brown and the Cleveland Cavaliers are finalizing a five-year, $20 million contract that will see Brown return to the bench in the city where his head coaching career started. This comes just five months after Brown was shitcanned by the Lakers five game...

