ow Page 827 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The NFL Network Crew Continues To Push The Envelope With Truly Bizarre Content
Man, I don't know what is going on here, but like a lot of the NFL Network's content, it just makes me uncomfortable. This is one of those segments that sounds great in theory: a goofy Halloween-themed bit that is also about football....
De'Anthony Thomas's Punt Return TD Against Colorado Is Obscene
We all speculated what kind of brutality the Oregon Ducks would unleash upon the hapless Colorado Buffaloes, and early in the second quarter we learned the answer would be "obscene." Obscene to the degree of a 49-0 Oregon 20 minutes into the game, capped by this marvelous De'Anthony Thomas punt re...
London Gets Gronked As Rob Gronkowski Spikes His Microphone At A Trafalgar Square Press Conference
London's a Patriots town now, folks. The fans at a Trafalgar Square press conference before the Pats' overseas game against the Rams got way more than the discomfiting noises we're used to back home. First, Brady got heckled:...
"World Series Shits To Detroit" Declares <em>Chicago Tribune</em>, Fox News, Et Al
Gather ‘round, my little dreamlets. Grandpa's going to sing of the days before every baboon with a wireless connection could vomit up a website and call it news. In those long-forgotten times, human beings would staff publications—magazines and newspapers, chiefly. But as audience habits and adverti...
How To Eat Halloween Candy: A Guide And A Power Ranking For Sad Adults
That the Snickers bar is the best of all candy bars is a point so obvious and unassailable that it needn't be argued here. What's odd and paradoxical-seeming, and thus noteworthy, is that its superiority is the precise reason why the Snickers is not the best candy bar for Halloween. That is to say, ...
Overhyped Northeast Media Shitstorms Converge As Analysts Predict Hurricane Sandy Will Somehow Lead To More Tim Tebow
The great thing about the northeastern part of the United States—the only part of the United States—is the way the region and its residents amplify the most of middling of things (think quarterbacks and weather events) into the only things in the world for a brief (long) period of time, thereby ass...
"Suck My Fuckin' Dick, You Piece Of Shit": Golfer Mark Wiebe's On-Air Meltdown Would Fit In Well On Your Local Muni
PGA Champions tour golfer Mark Wiebe is in the top ten of the AT&T Championship leaderboard at the moment, but a missed putt during yesterday's second round sent the 55-year-old on a humorously foul tirade—though, as always, we find the apology afterward far more amusing. You know, because viewers...
Cincinnati Head Coach Butch Jones Iced Louisville's Kicker At The Exact Wrong Time, And The Bearcats Lost Because Of It
The football coach's obsession with icing the opposing team's kicker before important field goals embodies the two primary dispositions innate to football coaches: performative micromanaging and ignoring statistics. Last night, Cincinnati's Butch Jones indulged those compulsions at the worst possi...
Basketball Prospectus Writers Are "Lab Geek Rats" With "Pocket Squares," According To Reggie Miller
During a Clippers-Nuggets preseason game yesterday, commentator Kevin Harlan brought up the fact that Basketball Prospectus, a highly regarded, stats-driven site, had chosen the Nuggets to win the Western Conference this season. As Harlan says, BP made this prediction based on many reasonable fact...
Stephen A. Smith Says "Nigga, Please" On ESPN2, And Everyone Gets Stupid In Response
On Thursday morning's First Take, Stephen A. Smith expressed his disbelief that Kobe Bryant would miss time with an injury by saying "nigga, please." This was not a thing he should have said on TV, yet he did. It was barely noticeable, but at least one person noticed, uploaded the video, and cert...
The Late-October Best Picture Oscars Predictions You've Been Waiting For
Coverage of the Oscars has reached tail-wagging-dog proportions in recent years: Rather than an awards show looking back at a year of films and choosing the best of them, the Academy Awards have become the journey and the destination. Not only do movies exist solely to win Oscars, but there are whol...
Man Known As "Tank" Taunts A Double-Amputee War Veteran For Being A Cowboys Fan
The Moosehead Grill in Charlotte, N.C., played host to some staggering jackassery this past Sunday. Garrett Carnes, a Marine veteran who lost both of his legs in Afghanistan, stopped at the restaurant with his wife Courtney and other family members after attending the Cowboys-Panthers game. Things ...
Grantland's Jonah Keri Picks The Giants In Seven; ESPN's Jonah Keri Likes The Tigers In Five
Today on Grantland, a pair of World Series preview pieces: Rany Jazayerli on why the Tigers could win, and Jonah Keri on how the Giants could take home the championship. Both men predict the series will go seven games—Jazayerli takes Detroit; Keri, San Francisco. Also on ESPN.com: a list of experts'...
Shaq Is Rapping Like A Weirdo Again, Dissing Dwight Howard
What you see above is Shaquille O'Neal hanging out in what looks like his mom's basement with two of his friends and spitting what I guess qualifies as a freestyle rap. Shaq takes a predictable swipe at Dwight Howard, but this dis track is nowhere near as devastating as "Kobe, Tell Me How My Ass T...
Report: Carlton Fisk Was Arrested On Suspicion Of DUI In The Middle Of A Corn Field
Every October baseball marvels at itself and its history. Sometimes the history at which the game marvels includes Carlton Fisk's home run in Game 6 of the 1975 World Series, when Fisk hit a twelfth-inning walk-off to force a seventh game. That happened 37 years ago Sunday. This, from Monday, report...
Wyoming Football Coach Suspended, Fined For Phenomenal "Mr. Fucking Howdy Doody" Tirade
Dave Christensen's punishment was handed down yesterday for this, and it's rather steep: a one-game suspension and a $50,000 fine. The decision was made by the school's athletic director with the full support of the university president, according to a statement the AD issued that said some things...
Jay Cutler's Press Conference Was The Chicago Fox Affiliate's Presidential Debate Highlight
It was a busy night last night for WFLD, the Chicago Fox affiliate. Just after the station finished airing Game 7 of the NLCS, there was the Bears game and the presidential debate to go over. But what better debate highlight was there than a live shot of Jay Cutler's press conference? Cutler was r...
Towson University Linebacker Accuses Coach Of Doctoring Practice Logs, Threatening To Fuck Up Jesus
Former Towson University linebacker Trevor Walker made campus conversation more interesting today when he and another unnamed former player published a column about head coach Rob Ambrose in The Towerlight, Towson's student newspaper. Walker's screed denounces Ambrose for resorting to blasphemy in ...