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![Report: Former Cleveland Browns Owner Art Modell Is Gravely Ill [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17y8kdi5s27gijpg.jpg)
Report: Former Cleveland Browns Owner Art Modell Is Gravely Ill [UPDATE]
Sad news out of Baltimore tonight as Jim Donovan of WKYC in Cleveland is reporting that Art Modell, the former Browns owner who became infamous for moving the franchise to Baltimore after the 1995 season, is in a Baltimore-area hospital and that his "vital organs are failing."...

Rob Ryan Has Some Words For You, And Those Words Appear To Be "Go For It, Fuckface"
When the Cowboys put up a strong goal-line stand in the second quarter of tonight's NFL season-opener against the Giants, Dallas defensive coordinator Rob Ryan had some excitedly profane things to say. He also, it appears, had some taunting to do toward the Giants' sideline. (That or he's urging ...

Dez Bryant Thought He Could Fool The Scab Refs Into Ruling This Catch A Touchdown
I've watched this play in HD maybe six or seven times, and it's clear that Dez Bryant is down on the turf in at least three different places (both knees and his right elbow) and perhaps also his left elbow, although it was inconclusive from the replay. Nonetheless, if you thought NFL players were ...

Dwyane Wade Says The Lakers Getting A Bunch Of Stars Is Good For The NBA
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Superteam bro-love forever....

Yep, That's A Big Old "Fuck Y'All I'm From Texas" T-Shirt On The NFL Network
Just less than three hours until the Cowboys and Giants kick off the NFL season, which means the NFL Network's only got three more hours to give us Mike Mayock and LaDainian Tomlinson yammering away, live from a North Jersey parking lot. But take note of that dude in the background, the one who happ...

Bobby Valentine Goes Apeshit On A Boston Sports Radio Host
Bobby Valentine's tenure as Red Sox manager is, in all likelihood, coming to an end, which is sad, because whatever faults you can find with the favorite son of Stamford, Conn., at least he's genuine. Yeah, he might be a genuine nutcase, but such candor and expression should be considered refreshi...

The Macho Man Came To My Prom: More Wrestler Run-Ins
Inspired by the saga of "Wrestling Superstar Virgil," we continue with readers' encounters with the titans of the squared circle. If you've had your own run-in with pro wrestlers past or present, e-mail us, subject line "Virgilbag."...

If You're Going To Miss Your Receiver, You Might As Well Drill An Official In The Head
Allentown (Pa.) Dieruff High School lost by 27 to Pocono Mountain East in its season opener a few nights back. It was the Huskies' 31st consecutive loss, a skid that dates back to the 2008 season finale. Some might look at this play from Friday night and say Dieruff's quarterback badly overthrew h...

The <em>Post</em> Drew Mark Sanchez As A Very Sad Clown
Today's New York Post, as a whole, crystallizes the 2012 Jets. On the cover, Tebow and Sanchez are depicted as passengers in Rex Ryan's clown car. Sanchez looks especially despondent. But the paper's big season preview article predicts that the Jets will have a winning record and return to the posts...

Story About LeBron Promising Liverpool A Vegas Party Was Too Fake For Even The British Tabloids To Stand Behind
Liverpool is...not having the best of starts. The high-priced, high-expectation club has gotten out of the gate at 0-2-1, which is only the second-most disastrous performance of the year for a Fenway Sports Group team. But another Reds owner was reportedly not so sanguine about the results. LeBron J...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Dallas Cowboys
Some people are fans of the Dallas Cowboys. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Dallas Cowboys. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Buffalo NBC Station Uses Photos Of Singer Seal To Report On Actor Michael Clarke Duncan's Death
Actor Michael Clarke Duncan died Monday from complications of a heart attack, and his death was reported in the A block of most East Coast 11pm newscasts....

What The Hell Does CSN Baseball Analyst Shooty Babitt Think "Gay" Means?
Shooty Babitt was a baseball player. He scouted. He's worked on both coasts, for teams and in the media. And yet, when his co-anchor gives him a lead-in to praise Oakland A's manager Bob Melvin for downplaying his team's recent success, Babitt says Melvin is "feeling a little too gay, talking about,...

Luke Donald Is Sorry For Calling A Golf Course Architect A "Cock" On Twitter
On Saturday, Luke Donald, frustrated with a bogey on the 18 at TPC Boston, sent out two tweets without looking very closely at which box he was typing in: his cell phone number, and another, in which he called the guy who designed the course "a cock."...

Brent Musburger Said Piss, And Kirk Herbstreit Couldn't Keep His Shit Together
On Saturday night, we all speculated about what Brent Musburger could have said that was bad enough that ABC felt the need to cut off the audio while he and Kirk Herbstreit pulled themselves together. Today, we have the unedited version: piss. He said "piss," instead of "pick." ...

Alfredo Aceves Had A Weird Day
Not really sure what was going on with Alfredo Aceves yesterday, but he was acting like a bigger basket case than usual. He and Dustin Pedroia got into an argument in the dugout—probably because Aceves threw over to second, like, 17 times and Pedroia seemed ill-prepared for each successive toss—an...

Dwight Howard Thanks Orlando With Pictures Of Dwight Howard And Dwight Howard's Name Blaring In All Caps. Dwight Howard.
He also said some nice stuff about the city of Orlando and its residents that may or may not have been ripped off from the theme to Titanic....

Brent Musburger Bleeped By ESPN Censors After Saying Something Naughty
We're not sure exactly what Brent Musburger is saying here, because we're officially out of the business of reading lips. But his comments during tonight's Michigan-Alabama blowout were something that necessitated censors using the seven-second delay, and ones Musburger later remarked were "a Freu...

Beer And Game Pairing: Hell Or High Watermelon With Bowling Green At Florida
Fruit and beer have an uneasy relationship, much like Gators fans and Florida sucking. Yet here we are, in 2012, and just as I'm watching this unsteady SEC power flail against some team called Bowling Green, I'm also enjoying the seasonal release Hell or High Watermelon by the San Francisco brewery ...

Ohio State's Devin Smith Made A Catch That's An Early Nominee For Play Of The Year
After a slow start that found themselves down 3-0 to Miami U., Ohio State broke ahead with this ridiculous catch by sophomore receiver Devin Smith, a one-handed affair that led Big Ten Network announcers in search of new underwear. [BTN]...