ow Page 842 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

UCLA Beats Oregon In Football, According To Every Newspaper And TV Station In The Country
College football season doesn't begin until this weekend, and UCLA and Oregon aren't even scheduled to play one another this season. But if you were to check out the website of just about every newspaper in the country right now, you'd come across a headline that tells you "Bruins stun Oregon," comp...

Michael Johnson Fell Off A Boat During An America's Cup Series Race
So we've written before about how the powers organizing the America's Cup have turned it into NASCAR at sea. (Our old pal Katie Baker wrote more about this on Friday.)...

Four Holes-In-One In One Day, On One Course? A Dirty Lie, And The Hoaxed Reporter Is Furious.
I'm the cynical and also jealous sort, so when I see a story in the paper about some 10-year-old kid or cancer survivor or 98-year-old lady hitting a hole-in-one, I automatically think, liar. No you didn't. Stop lying to the newspaper, you goddamned liar. This is a personal failing on my part, but y...

Jayson Werth's Glove Is Just For Show
Did you know baseball players didn't regularly wear gloves until the 1890s? Jayson Werth is an absolute throwback, barehanding a pop fly in yesterday's game just because. Or at least because he lost it in the sun....

Los Angeles Sports Anchor Suggests Vin Scully Should "Get His Shit Together" Live On-Air
Vin Scully delighted us all in announcing this weekend he'll return for a 64th season in the Dodgers' broadcast booth. We're looking forward to another season of Vin telling humorous anecdotes and bowdlerizing profane managerial outbursts....

Jerry Jones Grounds Dez Bryant
Dez Bryant can't go to strip clubs anymore and has to be driven to practice and games by some omnipresent security force. He also has a midnight curfew, unless he tells the Cowboys that he will not be abiding the midnight curfew. With advance notice, of course....

What's The Deal With All These White Computers?
As my local Starbucks continues to flow with disgusting burnt coffee, the computer world is full of greedy racists. Not much going on this weekend, so, I was just sitting in my local Starbucks looking around when it struck me: what is the deal with all these white computers? And why do I have to pay...

Lance Barrett Tosses A.J. Pierzynski And Robin Ventura, Shameless Homer Hawk Harrelson Goes Off Again
"Lance Barrett's just stunk the joint up, is all he's done, that's all he's done...he's terrible." Hawk, you might recall, got into a bit of a pickle when he referred to umpire Mark Wegner as "brutal" and "totally absurd" while questioning his baseball knowledge. He got a stern talking to from Bud ...

Regular Dude Jon Jones Is Under Siege Because He Shares a Name With The MMA Fighter
You know how this goes. You're just a regular guy, living his life, when all of a sudden, Jon "Bones" Jones cancels UFC 151, ruining everything. So, you do the only logical thing you can do. Google "Jon Jones," find his twitter handle and tell him how you think he's the biggest pussy this side of Mi...

"The 11 Hottest Paralympic Athletes" Is A Slideshow That Exists
Not saying this is noteworthy, or exploitative, or any less pageview-baity than all the other "X hottest Ys" slideshows out there. Just saying it exists. [MSN]...

Howie Kendrick's Mustache Last Night Was, Erm, Unique
Last night's 14-13 Angels win over Boston in extras was a testament to agricultural arson, but some viewers seemed preoccupied with the status of Howie Kendrick's mustache....

Miguel Cairo Fails To Make The Easiest Play Ever
After Juan Pierre led off the Phillies' half of the ninth with a single, it was pretty obvious Kevin Frandsen was going to try to bunt him over to second to put the winning run in scoring position. And once Frandsen got the bunt down and the ball rolled toward Miguel Cairo, it was pretty obvious Cai...

Mike Francesa Uncorked An All-Timer Of A Rant On The Collapsing Mets
The Mets are in freefall. They just got swept in four games at home by the (now) 50-73 Colorado Rockies. The Mets' starter for the last of those four losses, today's game, was blogger Collin McHugh, making his major-league debut. McHugh threw seven scoreless innings, allowing two hits and one walk, ...

Jerry Jones Isn't Worried About Replacement Refs, Because There's Still Instant Replay
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Ol' Jer hasn't noticed a difference between the new and old refs anyway....

The Charlotte Bobcats' Top 10 Plays, Annotated
Presumably due to some inescapable contractual obligation, NBA.com put together a highlight reel of the Bobcats' top 10 plays of 2011-2012. This is not a joke; they were able to find 10. Let's run them down, with some much-needed context....

Swedish Soccer Fans Wake Up Opponents With 4 A.M. Fireworks Show
CSKA Moscow is in Stockholm to play AIK tonight, in the first leg of a Europa League qualifier, and the Russians were just trying to get a good night's rest. Enter AIK fans, who showed up outside CSKA's hotel in the middle of the night with flares, fireworks, whistles and car horns....

Local Virgins Say Tim Tebow May Be Able To Remain A Virgin In New York, Reports <em>NYT</em>
The sports section of today's New York Times busied itself with yet another important journalism project on the topic of Tim Tebow's virginity. Tebow himself, however, was "unavailable for comment," so Times writer Bob Tedeschi did the next most logical thing: He tracked down a handful of young NYC...

