own Page 394 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Stephen A. Smith
We're not even going to get into his show on ESPN, which we've well-documented elsewhere. We are here to discuss the many sins of Stephen A. Smith the writer, the columnist. The man absolutely refuses to back up any of his written assertions with sources or facts. A guy who routinely sends in colu...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Jim Souhan
OK, we surrender. The white flag you see waving above the rubble means that we're coming out peacefully, kicking several weeks worth of Jim Souhan columns ahead of us. That's it, you've taken all the fight out of us. We have freaking had it with writing like Souhan's — the tortured prose; the slop...
Switching Captains In Cincinnati
Yesterday, the Cincinnati Reds announced that owner Carl Lindner is selling controlling interest in the team to local businessman Robert Castellini, who was part of the St. Louis Cardinals ownership group. We don't usually get into the business of owners too much here, mainly because we find it mu...
Things To Do In Cleveland When You're Drunk
Cleveland Browns running back Reuben Droughns was arrested early yesterday morning for driving under the influence of alcohol, after weaving in and out of traffic, speeding and ultimately blowing a 0.08 on the Breathalyzer. (Our father once actually told us, in one of our favorite pieces of advice...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bob Kravitz
OK, our problem with Bob Kravitz isn't that he's a terrible writer. (He isn't.) It's that too often he phones it in. No, check that — he often doesn't even bother to phone, instead stuffing his column into the backpack of a mental patient, who then wanders in the general direction of the Indianapo...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bud Poliquin
There must be a school out there, some sort of Hogwarts-inspired academy where columnists go to learn the art of lousy column writing. It can't just be a coincidence that our worst sports columnists, people such as Woody Paige, Jay Mariotti and this week's featured guest, Bud Poliquin, are all see...
Giants Owner Wellington Mara Dies
Longtime Giants owner — and just about the only sports owner we can ever remember professing affection for, if just because he was old and spindly — Wellington Mara has died at the age of 89. Mara was one of the most influential owners in sports history, pioneering the notion of sharing television...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bill Plaschke
We have seen Bill Plaschke's desk. Well, to be more precise, we haven''t actually seen the surface of the desk — just the refuse piled on top. We doubt that anyone working at the Los Angeles Times since the early 1990s has seen what's underneath. To best describe it, think Dennis Nedry's work stat...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bill Conlin
It's not so much that American newspaper editors want to employ mean-spirited sports columnists such as Bill Conlin; we're pretty sure it's the law. How else would one explain it? Every large paper seems to have its resident sports bastard, and Conlin fills that role at the Philadelphia Daily News...
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Jay Mariotti
"Never dull and always armed with an opinion ..." Beware those eight little words. When you read them, it can only mean: A) Ann Coulter has escaped her zoo enclosure and has written another book; or B) Your paper is promoting its circus freak show sports columnist. Jay Mariotti is one of these. He...
Baseball Owners (Get This) Might Be Untrustworthy
We're not saying that baseball owners who claim they're losing money are full of horse manure or anything, but a report in The New York Post says that Major League Baseball will not be offering MLB.com up as an IPO because owners don't want to open up their financial records to the public....
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Woody Paige
We hate to frontload this feature with such an apt subject — it's only our second one — and after Woody Paige there's really no place else to go, is there? After spending the last hour reading his old Denver Post columns, we're really kicking ourselves: We could have saved a lot of time and effort...
Paris Hilton And Ross Verba: Our Lucy And Ricky
We're not saying that Paris Hilton's already decumbent standards are getting somehow lower or anything, but one would think that when you're on the cover of Vanity Fair, you'd be able to party with a relatively high class of athlete. Nope: Hilton was out boobing it up in Las Vegas last weekend wit...
Sorry. We're Not Done With Mitch Albom Yet
Even though we wrote about it recently, we still can't stop thinking about that time Mitch Albom made up a bunch of stuff and turned it in as a column. Like, we're still supposed to read him after that....
Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Mitch Albom
To paraphrase Jerry Seinfeld, your local sports columnist is like Larry of the Three Stooges: You don't really need him, but it wouldn't be the same without him. We always vow to use our powers for good, so we part the newsprint curtain each Tuesday and examines a different lousy local columnist. ...
Mark Cuban Would Rather You Not Count His Fans
Everybody's favorite punctuation-resistant NBA owner Mark Cuban has had a busy offseason, hollering at New York Times reporters, apologizing for cutting Michael Finley and remembering the exact moment he stopped being one of us and became dirty, grimy rich....
Stomach Stapling Browns Fans. There Is No God
OK, we know SI's Peter King is losing weight like mad and everything, so it's obviously on its mind. He still has a pretty amazing scoop in MMQB today:...
Leftovers: Gates Back, Not Back, We're Confused
· Chargers tight end Antonio Gates signs contract but suspended for first game. Fantasy owners tiptoe toward ledge. [San Diego Union-Tribune] · Felix Potvin will not play in Russia. Neither will Antonio Gates, actually. [Eklund's Hockey Rumors] · Browns trade receiver to Patriots, guaranteeing immed...
Nothing Says Christmas Like A Good Blood Feud
God Bless The NBA. For the second consecutive year, commissioner David Stern and Co. have put together a Miami Heat-Los Angeles Lakers Christmas Day matchup, allowing broadcasters Al Michaels and Hubie Brown to look for significance in each sweat bead on Kobe Bryant's brow and each slight tilt to...